She shakes her head, as if in despair, and that grates. Immensely.
‘Hetoldme,’ I say forcefully.
She looks cautiously back at me.
‘He said that he wondered sometimes whether his father had beaten any feeling out of him when he fractured his skull.’
She winces at that.
‘He was hospitalised for the final time, he said, before social services took him away from his parents. And you wonder why he ended up so damaged? He goes through the motions, but he imitates, don’t you see? He acts.’
‘Yet he loves Evie,’ she counters. ‘And she undoubtedly loves him.’
‘Well, yes,’ I concede, feeling a little wrong-footed myself. ‘But that’s because he’s able to compartmentalise. Shut away those tendencies that most people would find abhorrent. He succeeds in keeping them hidden – for the most part. He never loved me. I was just a means to an end. He doesn’t loveyou.’
‘Liar,’ she hisses, refusing stubbornly to believe me. ‘You’re describing yourself. Your own symptoms.’
‘You really think so?’ I eye her wearily. ‘Whatever. It will make no difference in the end.’
‘If all you say is true, why are you here? Why didn’t you just take Evie and go?’
‘Becausehewould never have let me,’ I growl. ‘I told you. He had me labelled as the one with mental issues.’
‘You could have fled to another country,’ she goes on. ‘You’re clearly good at hiding your tracks. You must be.’
My temper fizzles dangerously. I draw in a deep breath, cautioning myself to stay calm. When Jack arrives is when the fireworks will start. He needs to know what will happen if he doesn’t admit to everything. That the women he chose over me will die horrendously. My plan was to killhim. Now, I’m not so sure. Leaving him alive with nothing and no one in his life, unloved and unlovable, might be a better punishment.
‘Believe what you like,’ I tell her. ‘It’s your funeral.’
I glance at Jemma, who hasn’t dared move. ‘Fetch the tea, Jemma,’ I instruct her, nodding to where it sits on the worktop.
I return my attention to Kara, pulling the pack of haloperidol from my jeans pocket. ‘They’re Jack’s, not mine,’ I tell her. ‘Am I right in assuming he found an alternative use for them?’
The fear is back in her eyes in an instant.
‘I see the penny has finally dropped.’ I sigh in mock sympathy, then tip my head thoughtfully to one side. ‘The question is, willIfind a use for them? Lounge,’ I add, pointing her that way with the knife. ‘Then we can all settle down while Jemma entertains us with tales of how manipulative and deceitfulsheis.’
I look at Jemma enquiringly. ‘Perhaps you’d like to start with why you decided to befriend Kara.’
SIXTY-ONE
As we head to the lounge, my two unwilling companions walking ahead of me, I note Jemma faltering, her gaze drifting to the front door. Anger spirals inside me and I reach to give her a nudge onwards. ‘You really are a devious cow, aren’t you?’ I snarl. ‘What were you going to do? Grab your chance to run and leave yourfriendto her fate?’
‘No,’ she protests feebly. ‘I… Why are you doing this? You can’t hope to get away with it,’ she blurts, in some small show of bravado.
‘I think you’ll find it’s you who’s not going to get away with it. In there.’ I give her another shove in the right direction, then whirl around, brandishing the knife at Kara as she takes a step towards me. ‘Don’t even think about it,’ I warn her.
She holds my gaze defiantly, and I can see that if anyone is going to try to stop me, it will be her. ‘Think of your baby,’ I tell her, lowering the knife meaningfully to her midriff.
Her gaze doesn’t leave mine. ‘You’re deranged,’ she spits.
‘Possibly.’ I smile impassively. ‘Do you really have to wonder why I would be, though? The man you think so highly of tried tokillme.’
She drags her gaze away. Obviously, she can’t argue with that fact.
‘Sofa,’ I instruct her, then swing the knife at Jemma. ‘You too.’
They both do as they’re told, thankfully. I’m not sure how things would pan out if they ganged up on me. Is that what they’re planning to do? I note the surreptitious glances between them. Would I use the knife if they did? I would have to, to save myself. They know I would.
