PROLOGUE
With the wipers sloshing hopelessly against the lashing rain, tears blinding me as I realise I have nowhere to go, no family left I can turn to, I don’t see the car heading right at me until it’s almost too late. Quickly, I swerve to avoid it and panic rips through me as the old Land Rover careers across the bypass and skids towards the guard rail. Instinctively, I brace my hands against the dashboard. The car ploughs straight through the rail, and a sense of calm washes over me as it plunges as if in slow motion towards the jagged rocks at the foot of the ravine. I’ve been living on borrowed time, I realise, imagining I could build a new relationship from the ashes of my broken life. That I could have the thing I craved most of all in life. Children. A family. Fate has intervened to remind me I don’t deserve one.
The shrill caw of a solitary bird seconds before the car lands jolts me from my state of limbo. I hear the windshield imploding, the creaking and grinding as the front end compresses, forcing mangled metal back into the vehicle. For a heartbeat, everything is deathly quiet, and then the metal groans like a wounded beast woken from sleep, and the car rolls judderingly over.
No!I’m not ready to give up.My will to live kicks ferociously in. If I’m to be punished, so be it. But I won’t allow my child to be. He doesn’t deserve this. Gagging against the salty, metallic taste in my throat, I wait, hearing nothing now but a strange hissing and popping. And then I smell it.Petrol.Pungent and acrid, it sears the back of my throat, burning my eyes and filling the car with thick fumes that will kill me as surely as a spark igniting them could.
A lurch of fear grips me, my stomach heaving, my heart booming out a warning, and I twist to fumble desperately with the door handle, excruciating pain shooting through my wrist. It’s useless, precious seconds ticking by as I struggle. Terror crackles like icicles through my veins as I register that the car is on its side, the driver’s door pinned to the ground. I’m trapped. My heart stalls as I see the flicker of a flame snaking its way through the wreckage. ‘No!’ Anger unfurls inside me.I will not let this happen.My mind ticking feverishly, I attempt to reach the passenger door, only to realise I’m pinned by the seat belt. Frantically, my lungs stripped raw, my eyes streaming, I grope at the clasp with my good hand. A surge of relief crashes through me as I hear a click and it gives.
The door is buckled, open a fraction. My blood pumping with adrenaline, I claw and heave my way towards it, shoving it wide. As I scramble to clamber out, I feel a sudden rush of hot air. Fear crystallises inside me as I see the flames gathering momentum, hungry tongues licking at the roof. How long before they engulf me and I die in indescribable agony?
Summoning every ounce of strength I possess, my desperation to survive for my child driving me, I drop to the ground, landing heavily on my knees. Primal instinct kicks in, and I manoeuvre myself to my feet to stumble away from the impending inferno. The blast when it comes slams me back down, forcing the air from my body.
The fire rages behind me, scorching my clothes, my exposed flesh, my hair. I have to get out of here. Blinking hard, my eyelids coarse and grainy, I twist my head to look up to the road above, and freeze as I recognise the person staring down at me. My heart races as I wonder whether they’re here to help me or to finish me off.
ONE
KARA
Engaged in conversation with one of the other guests, I don’t realise Mark is standing behind me until he speaks. ‘Sorry to interrupt. Do you think I could have a moment of my wife’s time…ifit’s not too inconvenient?’ he asks.
I note the sarcasm in his tone and feel immediately embarrassed for Jack, the builder we’d employed to do some work for us. ‘I should get back to my wife,’ he says awkwardly. ‘She’s probably wondering where I’ve got to.’
‘Undoubtedly,’ Mark retorts flatly.
As Jack heads off, giving Mark a smile, which goes unreciprocated, I turn to my husband. ‘That was a bit rude, wasn’t it?’ I ask, wondering what’s got into him.
‘Sorry, I’m sure,’ he responds moodily. ‘It’s just that Kai’s awake. You do remember him, don’t you? Our son?’
I look at him in bemusement as he points a finger towards the ceiling, going slightly cross-eyed as he does. I gather he’s had more to drink than he should, butreally? Sighing, I head across the lounge, indicating to Jemma – whose house party my husband might just be in danger of ruining – then hurry up the stairs to her spare room.
Finding Kai has indeed woken up and is looking a little fretful, I ease back the duvet and lift him off the bed. ‘Come on, little man.’ Setting him on his feet, I take hold of his hand. ‘Let’s go home and tuck you up in your own bed, shall we?’
Kai nods sleepily. ‘Want Louie,’ he murmurs. He’s missing his Jellycat cuddle toy, I realise, quietly reprimanding myself for not remembering to bring it with us.
After helping him down the stairs, I meet Jemma in the hall. ‘You’re leaving already?’ she asks, looking disappointed.
‘My husband’s a little the worse for wear.’ I nod towards where he’s collecting the wrong jacket from the coat pegs and then widen my eyes in Jemma’s direction as a woman’s shrill and rather over-boisterous laughter erupts from the kitchen.
‘Jack’s wife,’ Jemma provides, raising her eyebrows as we walk to the door. ‘The life and soul of the party.’
Not pining too badly for Jack then, I surmise. From Jemma’s comment, and also aware that the woman has been flitting about chatting animatedly for most of the evening, I assume she’s a bit of a party animal. Jack didn’t seem to mind, though. He’d smiled and rolled his eyes in faux despair when she’d spilled her drink – white wine, fortunately – but he certainly hadn’t appeared jealous.
Leaving my own husband to his missing jacket conundrum, I head on out.
‘Are you sure you’re okay to drive?’ Jemma asks, joining me as I wait for Mark on the front path.
‘I’m fine,’ I assure her. ‘I’ve only had one glass of wine and that was ages ago.’
‘Can we go home now, Mummy?’ Kai asks, tugging on my hand. I really shouldn’t have brought him tonight, but the babysitter had let me down and I’d promised Jemma faithfully I would be at her housewarming party.
Having finally located his jacket, my husband steps out, almost stumbling down the step as he does. ‘Kara’s the sensible one. Watches her alcohol intake,’ he imparts, righting himself on the path.
‘Good job someone does,’ Jemma says as he weaves his way onwards to the car. ‘Call me tomorrow,’ she adds, attempting to give Kai a kiss on the cheek, but he only turns away to burrow his face tiredly into me.
‘I will,’ I promise. ‘Good luck with everything.’
‘You too.’ She threads an arm around me and gives my shoulders a squeeze. ‘And don’t forget to let me know as soon as you sell the barn conversion.’ She nods in the direction of the barn Mark and I have renovated for sale just down the lane. ‘I’ll need the lowdown on our new neighbours.’
