‘Talk to me, Emily,’ Jake demanded. ‘Or I swear to God—’
‘It’s notme,’ she blurted.
‘What?’ He laughed, incredulous.
‘They wanted me to be like Kara.’ She looked back at him, saw the disbelief and confusion in his eyes and looked away again. She was making no sense, she knew, but she had to try to explain. Shehadto. ‘They wanted me to be like her … like Kara,’ she stammered.
Jake sucked in a breath. ‘I have no idea where any of this is leading, but—’
‘Kara wanted to be me!’ she cried, realising, finally, that the blame hadn’t been solely hers to carry. ‘She stole my boyfriend, and I hated her.’ Tears streaming from her eyes, she relived the emotions as painfully as she had on that dark day. ‘Ihatedher!’
Fear crossing his features as her voice rose, Jake stepped towards her.
Emily backed away. ‘I said terrible things to her, wicked things, but it wasn’t her I should have hated, it washim.’
‘Emily …’ Jake’s eyes flicked to the door, warning her that Millie might hear. Her poor, innocent, feisty girl. He’dhurther.
‘He killed her!’ Stuffed too long inside, the words came tumbling out. ‘Hepushedher. They argued on the canal bank and he pushed her. And I knew he had. Iknewit. In here I knew it.’ Choking back her sobs, she banged a hand against her chest. ‘But in my head … I couldn’tremember. I tried, but … I believed him. I went to him. Before he was convicted, I went to him. He was distraught, and I …’ She stopped, reliving that night, desperately not wanting to.
‘After we were together?’ Jake surmised correctly.
Closing her eyes, Emily answered with a feeble nod.
‘Were you still in love with him?’ His voice was hollow.
Pressing her hands to her face, she shook her head.
‘Yet you carried his child.’ His voice now full of insurmountable hurt, Jake spoke the words that would send the rest of her world crashing down.
Emily looked back at him, her heart so swollen with sorrow and regret she felt it might burst right out of her chest. ‘You knew Ben wasn’t yours?’ She could barely get the words out.
He smiled heart-wrenchingly. ‘I’m a doctor, Emily, remember?’
He’d done a test, she guessed. He must have suspected. Of course he had. He wasn’t stupid. She was the stupid one.
‘I got that you wanted to keep the child. I understood. What I didn’t understand was why you didn’t tell me,’ he went on, his voice strained. ‘I could have forgiven you cheating on me. It wasn’t as if we were already planning our wedding. I would have forgiven you anything, but … All theseyears? Why didn’t you justtellme?’
Emily didn’t answer. She couldn’t.
‘You should have told me.’ Shaking his head, Jake looked her over disappointedly and turned away.
‘I didn’t!’ Emily called after him as he walked towards the door. ‘Ididn’tcheat on you,’ she repeated wretchedly. ‘I didn’t want to. I didn’t plan to have sex with him. I didn’twantto. He …’
Jake stopped.
‘Jake?’ Emily moved towards him.
‘Are you telling me this bastard raped you?’ he asked gutturally.
Recalling again the cloying smell of him, his hands all over her body, the words he’d whispered close to her ear –I want you– her stomach roiled violently. ‘Yes.’ She voiced it finally. ‘I should have gone to the police,’ she added quickly. ‘I know I should have, but after the court case … They didn’t believe that I couldn’t remember. No one did. They convicted him anyway, but … I couldn’t go there again, giving statements, being questioned. Not being believed.’
‘Bastard!’ Jake exploded.
‘Jake! Where are yougoing?’ Undiluted fear gripped her as he yanked the kitchen door open.
‘Where the fuck do you think?’ he seethed, grabbing his car keys as he strode to the front door.
‘Dad …?’ Millie said shakily, part way down the stairs.
