‘He was sympathetic, of course. He’s a good listener, that husband of yours,’ Edward said, with another sad smile. ‘He suggested I look at equity release. He was going to research options for me, but I couldn’t take that route either without Joyce finding out. I was trying to buy time, imagining I could replace the funds at some point. I’m not sure how. I’m not sure what I was thinking, to be honest. I’ve never done a dishonest thing in my life until now. This will kill her.’ He stopped, holding his breath, desperately trying to rein in the emotion.
‘God, Edward, I’m so sorry.’ Emily turned to him, wrapped an arm around him. ‘It will be all right. Joyce is stronger than you think. Shewillstand by you. She loves …’
Seeing someone approaching from the path, she trailed off. ‘Jake …’ she breathed, never so glad to see him. He would help. He would know what to say.
Wiping a hand across his eyes, Edward blinked in his direction. ‘Talk of the devil,’ he said with a strained laugh. ‘Looks like I managed to spoil the party, hey, Jake?’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Emily told him firmly. ‘None of that matters.’ She glanced up at her husband. His eyes were anguished, filled with obvious concern.
‘How are you doing, Ed?’ he asked, crouching down in front of him.
‘I think I’ve done better,’ Edward said, his voice hoarse. ‘Where’s Joyce?’ He looked anxiously back along the path.
‘She’s okay. Tom and Nicky have taken her home,’ Jake reassured him, exchanging glances with Emily. ‘Come on, let’s get you back too. She’ll be worrying about you.’
‘She will.’ Alarm crossing his face, Edward attempted to lever himself up. ‘She does insist on fussing about me. I told her she would worry herself into an early …’ He faltered, swallowing hard. ‘I’ll be all right, Jake. You go on and see to your own family. I can walk from here.’
‘I’m taking you home.’ Jake reached to support him as Edward wobbled on his feet. ‘Can I take your car, Emily?’
‘There’s no need for all that,’ Edward insisted. ‘I can manage.’
‘That’s what friends are for,’ Emily said firmly, coming around to his other side to thread an arm through his. ‘To offer you support when you need it.’
Edward nodded appreciatively. ‘Just mind you support each other. It’s easier to dam a river than it is to stop gossip,’ he said, nodding towards the flowing water. Emily tried not to see the ghosts that floated there. ‘There’s a saying: divide and conquer. Whoever is sending these evil letters out is aiming to drive a wedge between you two, for whatever reason. Don’t let them. Stand together. You’re a team. You always have been. Don’t let them win.’
Thirty-Seven
Listening to Jake moving about downstairs, Emily rolled onto her side, her heart constricting as she reached out to trace the empty space in the bed where he should be. It was almost dawn. She hadn’t had a wink of sleep. She’d heard Jake going to the kitchen a couple of times in the early hours and guessed he hadn’t had much sleep either. They’d had broken nights over the years, many, but they’d rarely slept apart until recently. Edward had been right: they needed to stand together for the children, for the people they’d come to know and love around them. And for themselves, if there was still any hope for them, if the person who was doing all this hadn’t already won. Did she want to be with him, still not knowing for certain whether he had cheated on her, nothing but the email and his relationship with Sally, which he’d insisted was over years ago, to go on? Did he want to stay in this marriage? The endless questions rattled around in her head. She wondered whether he’d stayed here tonight rather than at the surgery, where she had to trust he’d been sleeping, because Millie hadn’t come home. They’d called her, only to reach her voicemail. Emily had checked with Anna, every terrifying scenario possible crashing through her mind when she’d found Millie wasn’t there.
‘She’s probably out with the boyfriend.’ Jake had tried to reassure her, but she’d seen the flicker of doubt in his eyes, the worry that was now obviously eating away at him too. She was torn between frustration and fear. Millie had done this too often lately, and she had no idea what to do. Attempting to ground her would only drive her further away. Jake had said he would try to talk to her. Emily had agreed, suspecting he might be able to reach her where she couldn’t.
Turning onto her back, she stared at the ceiling in the semi-light, her mind instantly conjuring up her sister’s face, her violet eyes staring at her through the window of her dreams, the accusation in her gaze, the warning Emily had sensed there. But might it be that in interpreting the dream as some kind of prophecy, she herself was making it happen? Because she felt shedeservedto lose Jake, to lose everything, just as her sister had? She recalled again the awful things she’d said to her, as she had countless times since the day that came back incessantly to haunt her. ‘He doesn’t love you. Helaughsat you,’ she heard herself screaming. ‘Webothdo, Little Miss Goody Two-Shoes with her nose always stuck in a book. He lovesme!’
‘Why?’ she remembered Kara screaming back through her tears. ‘Because you’re different? Unique? You think you’re the only one who can give in to her wild side, don’t you? You’re wrong, Emily! We can all do what we want on a whim without giving a shit about anyone. The difference between you and me is Icareabout the people around me too much to hurt them!’
‘Right, as you’ve just fucking demonstrated,’ Emily had sneered.
‘You just don’t get it, do you?’ Kara had stared murderously up at her from the hall. ‘The more you rebel, because you think you have some God-given right to do what you like, the moreIhave to be perfect. And I’msickof it.’
Emily’s heart wrenched as it all came flooding painfully back. They’d been so busy fighting each other, they hadn’t realised that the man they’d thought they loved was using them, pitting them against each other, getting his perverted kicks from it.
Emily had wanted to take her words back. She’d never had the chance. She’d apologised over and over, for years in her dreams, every time Kara slipped into her mind, but she couldn’t undo what had happened. She needed to stop. Punishing herself wouldn’t bring her sister back. She would probably never stop feeling guilty, but she had to stop dwelling on the past and concentrate on the here and now. Someone had tried to take away her ability to function by drugging her, but shewouldfunction. If it took every ounce of strength in her body, she would fight. The only other option, as Edward had pointed out, was to let the malevolent person who was trying to harm her and her family win, and that actually wasn’t an option.
She had to talk to Jake, swallow her pride and try to find a way to move forward with him, together on some level, for the sake of their children.
Thinking she would ask him to go for a walk where they could talk out of earshot of Ben, she tugged on her tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt, pushed her feet into her pumps and made her way quietly along the landing. She didn’t want to wake Ben. He’d come home early, while they’d still been out, taking Edward home and making sure the village hall was secure. He hadn’t said very much, going up to bed looking sullen instead. His date hadn’t gone well, Emily had assumed, and promised herself to make time to talk to him properly. She wanted him to believe he could open up to her, however angry he might be feeling.
Reaching the lounge, she stopped, heart sinking, as she heard Jake’s phone ring. A patient? she wondered, and then clamped down hard on her next thought.
‘Jake Merriden?’ she heard him say, having clearly snatched the phone straight up.
A chill of apprehension running through her, Emily listened for a second and then tentatively pushed the door open, her stomach lurching as Jake’s alarmed gaze shot to hers. Her stomach turned over as he said, ‘Joyce, you need to slow down, I can’t hear you.’
Getting to his feet, the phone pressed to his ear, he appeared to be searching for his trainers. ‘What? When?’ His eyes slid in gratitude to Emily as, seeing them where he’d obviously kicked them off by the coffee table, she went to grab them and pass them to him.
‘What’s happened?’ Ben appeared by the door, looking as if he hadn’t had much sleep either.
Emily moved quickly across to him. ‘I’m not sure,’ she whispered, though she guessed from the urgent tone of Jake’s voice that something had. Something bad.
