‘Millie!’ Watching her daughter flee angrily into the night, Emily felt her heart splinter.She’ddone this. Forced her to do exactly what she’d forbidden her to do. What she herself had done when her teenage home had felt like an alien place. She’d never imagined that she and Jake would put their children through the kind of trauma they’d both suffered at their parents’ hands. Jake had been blameless when his world had disintegrated. She hadn’t. She’d carried her guilt all her life. And now she would be carrying the guilt of her actions all over again.
‘Going up. Got some stuff to do for uni,’ Ben muttered as she stepped back into the hall.
‘Ben?’ Emily wanted to go to him, reassure him, but he was already halfway up the stairs, her boy growing fast into a man, growing more distant from her; from Jake, too, as their personalities clashed. He and Ben were so different in nature. Ben was sensitive; he could be laid-back and easy-going sometimes, but there was also a moodiness about him, as evidenced by his challenging Jake – after being escorted home by the police, for goodness’ sake. He hadn’t just been moody that time, he’d bordered on aggressive. Jake had told her not to worry too much about it. He’d put it down to the large amount of alcohol Ben had obviously consumed, but Emilydidworry about it, constantly.
Watching him disappear along the landing, she swiped the tears from her eyes and grabbed her jacket from the peg, rifling through her pockets for her car keys. They weren’t there. Wherewerethey? Her memory was like a sieve lately. She was searching hopelessly for her bag when Jake came out of the kitchen.
‘Where are you going?’ she asked him, cold apprehension slicing through her as she noticed his car keys in his hand.
‘After our daughter.’ He shot her a furious glance as he strode past her. ‘There’s no way I’m going to allow her to walk around on her own at night, upset. I’ll drop her at Anna’s, assuming I can’t persuade her to come back.’
Bewildered, Emily simply nodded and watched him go. He didn’t bang the door behind him as she’d half expected he might, but still the sound of it closing was like a death knell. A terrifying thought occurred. Might he be right? Might she really be going mad? Her paranoia, as Jake termed it, blowing things horribly out of proportion?
Her thoughts a petrified jumble in her head, she was walking shakily back to the kitchen when her phone beeped from the lounge. Hoping it might be Millie, she dashed to fetch it.
I’m watching youwas all the text said. It came from an unknown number.
Emily gulped back a sharp knot of fear. She wasn’t going out of her mind. Someone was trying to drive her there.
Ten
Jake
Jake felt desperately sorry for Zoe, who was weeping quietly in his surgery. Having seen her and Dean together at the fair, he’d been astounded by what she’d just told him. He’d bumped into Dean a few weeks back in the pub one lunchtime while waiting for Emily – before their lives had started falling apart. Dean had been over the moon about his expected baby, beaming all over his face. Zoe and Dean were both in their early twenties, only married a few months and renting a small property because they couldn’t afford to buy. The pregnancy hadn’t been planned, but they hadn’t been daunted by the prospect of parenthood. Far from it, they’d been excited about it. And now this. Life really did have a habit of kicking you in the teeth when you least expected it.
Unable to sit there and do nothing, he went around his desk, offered Zoe the box of tissues he kept there for this sort of occasion, and then, throwing protocol out of the window, placed an arm gently around her shoulders.
‘I’ll try to hurry the appointment up,’ he said softly, as she tried to compose herself. ‘Try not to worry. There will be other opportunities.’ He cursed himself then, realising how hollow that sounded. ‘I can organise some counselling for you if you’d like?’
Zoe shook her head, blew her nose and dabbed at her eyes. ‘No,’ she said, with a shaky breath. ‘I’ll be okay, Dr Merriden. Thank you for being so kind.’
He didn’t assure her it was just part of his job. She needed genuine kindness right now. And he really did feel for her. ‘Come and speak to me if you need to. Any time.’ He gave her shoulders a squeeze. ‘Just let Emily or Nicky know I’ve okayed it and we’ll fit you in.’
She managed a tremulous smile. ‘I will.’ She nodded and got to her feet. ‘You’re a lovely man, Dr Merriden,’ she said, leaning to give him a hug. Hugging would definitely be deemed bad protocol, but Jake was reluctant to step away, given how upset she was. ‘Emily is a lucky woman,’ she added, easing away herself after a second to pick up her bag.
Jake hid a rueful smile as he followed her to the door to open it for her. He doubted Emily was thinking herself lucky right now. He had no ideawhather thinking was, apart from the fact that she clearly thought he was the biggest bastard that walked the earth.
‘Take care,’ he said, making sure to offer Zoe a reassuring smile as she left.
Going back to his desk, he debated for a second, and then decided to take the bull by the horns and ask Emily to come into his office. He would never normally do that unless he needed a female present for patient examination purposes. Usually he would go out to reception, but he was desperate to talk to her on her own, out of earshot of the kids, and try to establish what evidence she had to back up her accusations. At least then he would have some idea what he was dealing with. Right now, he had no clue. Or what to do about it. Everything he said seemed to make the situation worse. His emotions were all over the place, see-sawing between bewildered and bloody petrified. What if he couldn’t convince her he wasn’t cheating on her? What then? It was true he’d been neglecting his family lately, but they meant the world to him and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing them. Losing Emily. She’d been the one constant in his life. The only thing he’d kept going for at one point, when he’d felt that the dark cloud that dogged him was closing in on him. The nightmares had been relentless for years after his mother’s death, never a night where he didn’t relive the day he’d walked into the hall and his world had stopped turning. He’d never confided his fears to anyone but Emily, who’d always been there for him, always supportive. He needed to remind himself of that. He prioritised making time for his patients, to listen and try to read between the lines. He needed to do the same with his wife and attempt to put things right, if only she would let him.
His gut churning, as it had been since this whole thing started, he braced himself and picked up the phone.
Two minutes after he’d called through to reception, Emily appeared, looking cautious. She was looking good, he noticed, in leather boots with leggings. She was wearing make-up and her hair was in some sort of updo. It looked nice. He wanted to compliment her, but he really didn’t know how she would take that. It was as if he didn’t know her any more. She was like a different person. Whatever her thinking was, she was behaving strangely. She was clearly unwell, and he was worried.
‘Was it something important?’ she asked. ‘It’s just that with only the two of us out there and Fran coming in later to do her cleaning, we’re a bit backed up.’
Noting the formal tone, Jake sighed inwardly. He guessed that Fran would be talking the hind leg off a donkey, as she always did, and he knew Emily and Nicky had their work cut out without a much-needed extra medical secretary to take on some of the load, but … ‘Yes,’ he said, getting to his feet again to walk around her and close the door, ‘it is important. Extremely. Assuming you think our marriage is important, that is?’
Emily’s eyes immediately shot to the floor. ‘I’d rather not discuss our personal problems here, Jake. It’s inappropriate,’ she said, taking a step towards the door.
Jake had his back to it, however, and inappropriate or not, he wasn’t about to move until she heard what he had to say. He took a breath. ‘I love you, Emily. Whatever it is you’re thinking I’ve done or am doing, please believe it isn’t true.’ He held his breath and waited.
Emily didn’t answer. She wouldn’t look at him either.
Jake felt his heart sink. Where was this leading? What would he do if she announced she wanted a separation? A divorce? Jesus, he couldn’t handle that. He couldn’t have nothing in his life but work. His father, who he actually wished had neverbeenpart of his life. The thought of working here without Emily alongside him caused his heart to plummet to the pit of his stomach.
‘I love my kids, too, more than anything. I need you in my life, all of you,’ he said gruffly. He wished she would say something, anything. ‘I don’t understand, Em. I really don’t.’ Swallowing back a jagged knot in his throat, he took a step towards her. ‘Knowing what you know about me, do you honestly think I would do anything to put my family in jeopardy?’
