‘As dads go.’ Amazingly, Millie laughed.
‘Grab your stuff,’ Jake said. ‘I’ll wait in the car.’
Hearing Millie charge up the stairs, Emily hesitated and then stepped into the hall. As Jake walked out without even calling goodbye, her heart sank without trace. There’d definitely been no kiss this time. Her marriage seemed to be crumbling and she had no idea how to repair it.
Natasha. She had to stop her. She wouldmakeher stop. A fresh wave of anger welled up inside her, closely followed by a now overwhelming guilt. The woman might have sustained a life-changing injury. They didn’t yet know. Whatever she’d done, Emily wouldn’t wish that on her.
She clutched a hand to her head, wishing she could make the incessant throbbing go away. She couldn’t let her emotions get the better of her. She had to tackle this calmly, rationally. In light of the psychological damage his own father had wreaked, she couldn’t believe that Jake would do anything that would rock Millie and Ben’s world, but if it turned out to be true, then they would be caught up in it.
She wouldn’t throw any more accusations at him; not yet. That would only make the situation worse. First she would establish how Natasha was, and then she would go and see her. It seemed to Emily that in sending the email to Jake’s work address, Natasha had hoped she would see it. No doubt she’d imagined that Emily would confront Jake, raging at him about the evidence of his infidelity, thus lighting the fuse that would blow her marriage apart. She’d very nearly done just that. She still didn’t know what the truth was, whether her marriage was in deep trouble. If push came to shove, though, she could fight dirty too.
Eight
They’d managed to get through Sunday relatively normally. Emily hadn’t brought up the subject of Natasha again. It was Jake who eventually mentioned her, saying that he’d spoken to a colleague at the hospital and that she’d made a full recovery and had been discharged. He’d conveyed the information unemotionally, telling her pointedly that he would be checking up on her as she was a patient, leaving Emily feeling yet more guilty, if that were possible. But was she the one who should be feeling guilty?
He’d kept his phone with him constantly, she’d noticed. Or had he always done that? The nature of his work dictated that he needed to be contactable, but she hadn’t noticed him keeping it quite so close before now. But then she’d never had cause to look before. She’d caught him several times guardedly watching her, perhaps because she’d been carefully watchinghim, trying to read his body language and his expression, which was largely pensive.
She’d been about to dash off to the supermarket, after realising that, once again, she’d forgotten to get something out of the freezer, but he’d suggested they all eat out. She’d proposed that he treat Millie and Ben to a pub meal instead, telling him she was nursing a nagging toothache, which had been her planned excuse to leave work early today. She hadn’t actually felt like eating anyway. The constant waves of nausea, which she’d now stopped mentioning to Jake, left her with no appetite.
Seeing it was time for her to leave for her fictitious appointment, she switched off her PC and grabbed her bag. ‘Don’t forget to blank your screen if you walk away from the desk,’ she reminded Nicky as she fetched her jacket. ‘And make sure to—’
‘Lock all client information away in the filing cabinet and close my computer down properly when I leave,’ Nicky chipped in. ‘Don’t worry, you can rely on me.’ Smiling proudly, she pointed to the Post-it notes adorning her screen.
Emily gave her an indulgent smile back. The girl was doing her best. Still, though, she was easily distracted. She hoped she didn’t forget.
As it was lunchtime, there were no patients currently in with Jake, so she tapped on his door and went in. ‘I’m off to my dental appointment,’ she said, determined to remain professional despite their personal situation. ‘Nicky’s up to speed regarding your appointment schedule.’
‘Oh, right. Thanks.’ Jake got to his feet and walked around the desk towards her, then stopped. Normally he would kiss her. Sometimes, a mischievous smile curving his mouth, he would push the door to and kiss her thoroughly. Now, though, his expression was awkward as he lingered a step away from her, and he didn’t appear to know what to do.
She should tell him everything. A hard lump expanding in her chest, she almost closed the door herself and stepped further in. But she couldn’t bring it all out into the open here and create the very scenario she was trying to avoid: confrontation, arguments, accusations. Not until she absolutely had to. She would convince this woman to back off, praying that they could then salvage their marriage. If she could bring herself to trust him again, and feel secure that Jake thought their relationship was worth saving, then she would talk to him. She would have no choice. She couldn’t bury her head in the sand and hope it would go away and just be grateful when it did – until the next time.
‘Tom’s popping in,’ she reminded him. ‘He needs to get some data together for the clinical commissioning group. Nicky’s on her own so you might want to keep an eye on things,’ she suggested, hoping he would get the point about his father’s tendency to ogle their receptionist at every opportunity without her spelling it out.
‘Right,’ Jake said again. She could tell by his long intake of breath that he understood.
Her heart ached as she climbed into her car and headed for Apple Tree Farm. For herself, but mostly for Millie and Ben. She and Jake had worked to protect them from anything that might damage them growing up, particularly the harm parents could wreak. What had happened? she wondered, feeling still as bewildered and disorientated as she had when she had first glimpsed that bloodyemail. She wasn’t sure what she was doing here, other than to try and corroborate what her head was telling her: that Jake was having an affair, despite the promises he’d made never to be like the father whose behaviour he claimed to detest.
If it did turn out to be true, she only prayed he would never utter the words he’d spoken years ago, telling her his association with the woman meant nothing, quite clearly indicating thatnothingwas worth risking his marriage for, ruining his children’s lives for. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to forgive him that.
Driving into the farm, she passed the field Michael Jameson had left to fallow this year and on past the hops that were beginning to establish themselves on their strings. Michael had broken his back rescuing the farm that had been handed down to him from his parents. Emily knew that growing hops was one of the hardest crop choices in farming, the hops requiring attention all year round. Even then, farmers were at the mercy of the weather and yields varied. Michael had often joked that hop growers were resilient folk, supplementing their income with other horticultural crops such as apples. Emily wondered how resilient his heart would be if he discovered the woman he’d not long been married to, and who he’d refurbished the farmhouse for, possibly overstretching himself financially, was cheating on him.
Hoping Michael was out and about on the farm, she parked a little way down the track leading to the house. She noted Natasha’s brand-new Mini Clubman parked outside and the anger that had been simmering inside her rose. She had no doubt that the purchase of that car had pushed Michael further into debt.
Bracing herself, wondering what she hoped to gain if the woman denied an affair outright, she climbed out of her car and made her way towards the house. She was severely tempted to gouge the shiny Mini with her keys as she neared it, and was shocked by this new viciousness inside her. This wasn’t her. No matter what people had thought her capable of, silently accused her of, she’d never felt this out of control of her emotions. It scared her.
Attempting to steady her rapid heartbeat, she was bypassing the kitchen window when a loud crash from inside rooted her to the spot. The guttural roar that followed it – primeval, the raw cry of a wounded animal more than a man – caused her heart to jolt violently.
‘Why?’ She heard Michael cry, his voice filled with agonised bewilderment. ‘I’ve given you everything!Everything!’
‘I didn’t!I haven’t.’ Natasha’s voice, desperate. ‘It’s a lie! I … Michael,don’t!’
Hearing another crash that sounded like glass smashing, Emily’s heart pounded as she inched towards the window. Peering in, her eyes fell immediately on Natasha. She was scrambling away from Michael, trying to get to the door that led to the hall, but Michael was faster, grabbing her arm, dragging her back and whirling her around, and then pushing her against the kitchen wall.
Emily’s stomach churned with fear as she watched arms flailing, mouths moving. Michael’s face, contorted with rage, was an inch away from Natasha’s, his forefinger jabbing the air close to her cheek. ‘How many?’ he bellowed, pushing his face closer.
‘None!’ Natasha cried. ‘No one! It’s—’
‘Liar! Lying, cheaplittle—’
