‘She’s paying me fifty quid,’ she added, a little incentive. That clinched it. She saw the pound signs ping in his eyes.
‘Make sure to give your mother something towards the bills,’ he said, and immediately set about detaching the back from the frame.
What he really meant was ‘Make sure to give your mum some money I can than pilfer from her purse to piss up the wall.’ God, he was obnoxious. Her stomach roiling at the proximity of him, Kim said nothing, holding her temper as she waited for him to return the photograph. He would take great pleasure in ripping it up in front of her if she challenged him.
She glanced away as he handed it to her, rather than see the triumphant look on his face, then tucked it back into her jacket and left him to revel in his pathetic little victory while she went to the pushchair to unbuckle Samuel and lift him carefully out.
‘Sorry, sweetheart,’ her mum said as, the baby in her arms, Kim headed for the stairs.
Kim nodded. She didn’t say anything. She wished her mum would bloody well leave him. Even a refuge had to be better than this.
Once upstairs, she elbowed the door of her shoebox of a room open and went inside in hope of some privacy. She needed to think what to do now that Josh’s parents had as good as called her a liar. Well, Adam Colby certainly had. Cassandra had tried to defend her, probably because she’d seen the baby as a way of holding onto her son. Perhaps she should try to catch her on her own and talk to her again. Pop a letter through her door maybe and ask to meet up with her.
Placing the baby on the bed, she swallowed her hurt and beamed him a smile. Cooing and soothing him, she set about changing him. ‘You’re a gorgeous little boy, aren’t you, sweetheart? As good as gold.’
Making sure he was dry and comfortable, she lifted him gently into the cot that was squeezed into the corner. ‘We’ll be out of here soon, darling. Don’t you worry, I’ll make sure to look after you and keep you safe,’ she promised him, tickling his tummy. He offered her a delighted gummy smile, and she sighed, in awe of the perfect wonder of him. He would be hungry soon. She would have to venture back downstairs, she supposed. Her own tummy clenched coldly at the thought of having to encounter her father again, but Samuel was her priority.
Sighing, she pulled Josh’s photo from her jacket and studied it. He’d been so good-looking, his eyes the truest sky blue, his lips just full enough to be sensual. She’d fantasised about those eyes holding hers as he made love to her even before she’d spoken to him. She’d fancied him the second she’d seen him on the Worcester to Birmingham train, and had made sure to be on the same one the next morning, in the hope of seeing him again. And then every morning thereafter, though it had cost her all the money from the waitressing job she’d now given up out of necessity. She’d felt a thousand butterflies take off in her tummy the first time he’d smiled at her. She’d loved him completely. Always would. Wiping away the slow tear that slid down her cheek, she swallowed hard.
She would send the letter. Speak to Cassandra, convince her she wasn’t the person they’d assumed she was simply because of where she came from. She’d made a promise to Josh at his grave, and she aimed to keep it. She wouldn’t let him down as everyone else in his life had.
Five
Joshua
December 2018
‘Hey, careful.’ Josh instinctively grabbed hold of the girl’s arms as she bowled into him on the station platform. Steadying her on her feet, he looked her over. The tip of her nose was pink, her cheeks flushed – with a combination of cold and embarrassment, he imagined. Her hair was tucked under a bobble hat with a fur trim, bar a few flame-red tendrils. It was her: the girl he’d sensed watching him every morning on the early train. She averted her gaze whenever he looked up, but he could feel her eyes on him when he went back to his phone. She’d looked startled, like a deer caught in the headlights, when he’d finally decided to break the ice and say good morning to her. She’d mumbled a ‘hello’ back and then glued her gaze on her book. Josh had smiled quietly when he’d caught it drifting back in his direction minutes later. He’d guessed she must be shy.
Her eyes were green, he noticed, unsurprisingly, given her hair colour and pale complexion. Unusual, though; sage green, but flecked with grey and amber. They were mesmerising.
‘Sorry,’ she said, her expression flustered. ‘New boots.’
‘No problem.’ He glanced down at her feet, which were adorned with ankle boots with the kind of spiky heels he had no idea how women stood up in, let alone negotiated icy roads in. ‘I quite like women throwing themselves at me,’ he added, smiling to put her at her ease.
Which he obviously hadn’t. Her blush deepening, she dropped her gaze. She probably thought he was hitting on her. He almost suggested she hang onto his arm until the train stopped, but thought that might make her feel even more uncomfortable. ‘You probably need to scuff the soles up a bit,’ he said instead, and then, smiling again, climbed on board.
Choosing his usual seat at the window, he watched as she passed him by, also taking her usual seat, one up on the opposite side, facing him. She hadn’t got him down as someone to be given a wide berth then.
Catching her eye as he dropped his rucksack at his feet, he tried another small smile. At last she smiled back. Josh was relieved. He didn’t like the idea that a female travelling companion might have him down as a creep.
She was on the station platform as usual the next morning. ‘I scuffed them,’ she said as he glanced in her direction. ‘My boots,’ she clarified, nodding down at her feet.
‘Good idea. I think there’s snow forecast later,’ Josh said.
‘Really?’ She glanced upwards at the heavy grey skies. ‘Do you think that means we might have a white Christmas?’
‘It would be nice, wouldn’t it? The sun was shining last year. It didn’t feel like Christmas at all somehow.’
She smiled at that, and then looked away as the train pulled in. She boarded it ahead of him, this time choosing a seat on the side he usually sat on. He was about to take the one behind her when he realised that might look a bit pointed. Moving on, he nodded at the seat opposite her. ‘Okay if I sit here?’ he asked.
She looked surprised. ‘Of course. I promise not to take up all the leg room.’
Josh doubted she would do that. She was petite, despite the killer heels.
‘Likewise.’ He smiled. ‘I’m Josh, by the way,’ he said, extending his hand.
She hesitated, her cheeks flushing. ‘Kimberley,’ she said. ‘Kim for short.’
