Cassie stared at the sweep of flame-red hair. It was her. The girl who had stopped at the church gates and then disappeared so suddenly.
‘You have a lovely house. It’s very grand,’ the girl said, gazing around as Cassie raced through a thousand scenarios as to why she would be here. Was it because it was Josh’s birthday? How well had she known him? She’d been wearing his bag, she recalled, a chill of apprehension running through her.
‘Thank you,’ Adam said. ‘Cassie’s resting. If you want to wait here, I’ll go and fetch her.’
‘Oh.’ The girl looked flustered. ‘No, don’t do that. I don’t want to disturb her. I can always call—’
‘Adam…’ Drawing in a fortifying breath, Cassie moved to the top of the stairs. ‘Who is it?’
The girl’s gaze swivelled in her direction as she made her way down.
‘Hello,’ Cassie said, smiling uncertainly. ‘I saw you at the church gates after the funeral, didn’t I?’
Her expression wary, the girl confirmed it with a nod. ‘I wanted to speak to you then,’ she said, ‘but I wasn’t sure it was the right place. I was too scared, to be honest.’
‘Scared?’ Pausing, Cassie exchanged a baffled glance with Adam. ‘Why on earth would you be scared?’
‘I don’t know. I mean, I wasn’t sure what to do. The thing is…’ Faltering, the girl glanced down and then hesitantly back up before finding her resolve. ‘The baby,’ she said, as Cassie’s heart skidded to a stop in her chest. ‘It’s Josh’s.’
Three
Cassandra
Cassie felt as if the air had been sucked from her lungs. A whirlpool of emotion churned inside her as she stared at the girl. Shock, disbelief, confusion.
The girl looked at both of them in turn. ‘I wasn’t sure whether to come,’ she said nervously. ‘I knew it would be terribly painful for you, but…’ She glanced at the baby and then back, ‘I thought Josh would have wanted you to know.’
Adam’s eyes flicked to Cassie’s. He looked as stunned as she felt. ‘Come into the lounge,’ he said, his voice thick with emotion.
Giving him a small smile, the girl reached for the pushchair.
‘How old is he?’ Cassie asked, stopping her.
‘Ten weeks,’ the girl replied. ‘Ten weeks, four days and five hours, to be precise.’
Cassie nodded. ‘There’s someone here in the village who’s not long had a baby,’ she said, her voice choked despite her best attempts to control her emotions. ‘He’s just two weeks older. I couldn’t help wishing that…’ She stopped and breathed. ‘Jemma Anderson, do you know her? She’s married to Ryan. They were both at the funeral.’
‘No. No, I don’t,’ the girl said. ‘I’d never been here before. I wanted to come to the funeral, but as we’d never met…’
Again Cassie nodded, desperately trying to take everything in. Because of the circumstances, she hadn’t seen Jemma’s baby, but when she’d heard she’d given birth, realised that Josh would never experience all the joy and heartbreak of being a father, the unique moment of holding a precious new life for the first time, it had sharpened the pain of her loss.
‘Why didn’t you come sooner?’ she asked the girl. ‘Why wait until—’ She stopped, feeling suddenly weak, as if the blood had drained from her body.
‘I’ve got you,’ Adam said, threading an arm around her waist and steering her to the lounge. Pushing the door open with his foot, he guided her to the sofa and helped her down onto it. ‘Can I get you something?’ he asked her, raking a hand shakily through his hair.
‘No, I’m fine,’ Cassie assured him. ‘I haven’t eaten, that’s all it is.’ She turned her attention to the baby, and a deep yearning unfurled inside her. Her gaze travelled over the sleeping child, and any doubt she might have had that he wasn’t Josh’s evaporated. He was the image of him.
Her heart constricting painfully, she drew her eyes slowly to the girl. Her face was pale, her eyes wide with fear. Ithadbeen Josh’s bag. She’d known it. This girl had been going out with him. They’d created a life together. Hope leapt in her chest. Her son had gone, but might she still have part of him? A living, breathing part?
‘Sorry,’ Adam said, kneading his forehead as he turned back to the girl. ‘Would you like something? Tea? Coffee?’
‘Thank you. Water would be nice.’ She smiled shyly.
‘Would you like to sit down?’ Cassie asked as Adam left the room. She looked so nervous and awkward, she couldn’t help but feel for her.
The girl glanced at her baby, then to the armchair, and then, offering Cassie a small smile, came to sit on the sofa beside her.
Cassie noted that she was knotting and unknotting her fingers in her lap. Hesitating for a second, she reached to still them. ‘It’s okay. We don’t bite.’ She offered her a reassuring smile. ‘We should probably introduce ourselves. I’m Cassandra, Cassie for short.’
