Her husband would have gone to her, but Karla would rather have died than allow him to see her like that, lying emotionally broken on a hospital trolley. Diana’s heart grew heavier. ‘Did you think I wouldn’t?’ She gave her a mock scowl.
Karla dropped her gaze, and the unshed tears finally came. Pulling her tight to her, Diana held her while she cried, smoothing a hand over her hair. Her once beautiful, bouncy blonde hair, now shorn and coloured dark auburn – Sarah’s colour, almost. When Diana had first set eyes on her at the hospital, while Karla was still woozy, she’d realised that her daughter was deeply troubled. That the ghosts from her past had never truly been laid to rest. Feelings she’d never been able to process – her grief, her deep sense of loss – had resurfaced, been exacerbated by the prospect of losing her husband. Her daughter wasn’t coping. Diana had no choice but to find a way to help her.
‘I’m sorry, Mum.’ Karla sniffled shakily. ‘I didn’t mean to be so stupid.’
Diana reached for her hands. ‘You’ve nothing to be sorry for, Karla,’ she said firmly. ‘It happened. It’s over. You reached rock bottom and now you have to climb back up again, for yourself, for your children. They need you. No man’s worth this, sweetheart.’
Being arrested for killing a man of Robert’s ilk might possibly be worth it, Diana couldn’t help thinking, but slowly killing yourself, humiliating yourself, getting drunk at nightclubs over a man? Karla was worth more than this. It was about time she realised that.
‘I love him, Mum,’ Karla said, looking beseechingly at her, as if willing her to understand.
Diana did. More than her daughter knew. Her own heart would always bear the scars she’d inflicted on it the day she’d walked away from the man who truly loved her. Michael, though, had refused to let her go, staying in touch over the years. Diana was so glad that he had. Her life would have been intolerable without him to talk to. She needed to talk to him now.
‘But how will this help?’ Dismissing thoughts of Michael to concentrate on her daughter, she glanced worriedly across to the chair, on which were the questionable clothes Karla had been wearing in the nightclub: a minuscule black dress and thigh-high boots – a scream to be noticed. ‘What are you trying to prove, darling?’ she asked her, making sure to keep her tone non-judgemental.
‘I don’t know.’ Karla shrugged, looking as miserable as it was possible to be. ‘I suppose I wanted to remind Jason there was more to me than being a wife and a mother.’ She paused, her eyes downcast as she absent-mindedly traced the flower pattern on the duvet with a forefinger.
‘I’m not sure he ever really knew me, Mum.’ She looked back at her, after a second, with such agony in her eyes, it tore Diana apart. ‘I’m not sure I do. All of the pieces of me, I mean. I thought, if I could find them, that… Oh, I don’t know… I thought that if he remembered there was more to me, he might learn to love me again.’
Diana swallowed back a hard knot of emotion. She might be wrong, but she was sure that Jason still loved her daughter. If he did feel differently, then it might be too late. But if they were to stand any chance of coming through this, then Diana had to make it safe for him tokeeploving her. The consequences for herself would be life-changing, but then, wasn’t that change long overdue? She should have done it years ago. Then she might not have been sitting here, watching her daughter’s life fall apart.
Once the press got hold of it, the consequences for Robert would be catastrophic. Diana had considered that, and she realised she no longer cared. Once, she would have done. She’d made up her mind to be with him; been determined she would support him as a wife, told herself she would grow to love him. But, if his deplorable, misogynistic behaviour hadn’t killed any affection she’d had for him, his lies had. The lies he’d told about the circumstances surrounding Sarah’s death were the worst lies of all. There’d been no need, other than to preserve himself. Diana had realised, then, that that was what Robert was all about: self-preservation above everything else, even his own child.
‘I should go,’ Karla said suddenly, pushing the duvet back and attempting to heave herself off the bed. ‘The children…’
‘Will be perfectly fine with Jason.’ Diana eased her gently back again. ‘Stay here until you’re feeling stronger. Indulge yourself and have a nice hot bath. Meanwhile, I’ll get us something nice to eat. Soup,’ she added, when Karla looked doubtful. ‘You look like a sickly little pigeon. Though a very pretty one.’
Karla managed a small smile at last.
Giving her a warm smile back, Diana tucked up the duvet and walked to the door. She would feel better herself, doing something practical. To which end, she would ring Robert’s receptionist, as she’d promised she would, and give her blessing for her to go ahead and talk to the newspapers. Abbie was a pretty young thing, and Robert, given his predilections, wouldn’t have been able to resist. Diana was well aware of that.
Courgette and tomato soup, she decided, going into the kitchen. Her speciality – wholesome but not overly filling. Karla had lost far too much weight. She needed building up. She needed to fight back, but not like this.
Diana chopped the onions while she pondered, and then paused as her phone beeped.Michael.Her heart skipped a beat. He was always reliable, punctually phoning or messaging her when he said he would. With the distance between them, the occasions they could be together were rare, but cherished and more special because of it. There would have been no distance between them, if only… Quashing that thought, Diana downed her knife. She had no time for regrets. The past was the past. Her focus now had to be on her daughter’s future, whatever the emotional cost to herself.
Picking up her phone, she checked the text.
Still on for next week?
Desperate to meet, Diana replied.
Naturally, he sent back. Not conceitedly. Diana knew he wasn’t an arrogant man.
Obviously, she said.
Shall I call you?he asked.
Not a good idea. Karla is still here.
Ah, no problem. How is she?he enquired, aware of why she was there.
Hurting, Diana answered honestly.
You need to talk to her.
Diana took a breath.I know.I just have to be sure.
You know where I am if you need me.
