‘Karla, how are you?’ John asks, pleasant and cheery, as always. I wish he wasn’t. I don’t feel I can rise to it.
‘Still a bit wobbly,’ I say, not quite lying.
John tsks in sympathy. ‘It’s a nasty bug,’ he says of the flu I’m supposed to have, which is going around. ‘Well, don’t you worry about rushing back,’ he adds. ‘Just take your time and make sure you’re fully recovered before you return to work.’
‘I will,’ I say weakly.
‘While I’ve got you, though – and I’m sorry to bother you with it while you’re off ill – but do you think I could pick your brains about something?’
‘Yes?’ I say warily.
‘Those pesky minutes for the last board meeting, you don’t happen to know if the audio tape ever surfaced, do you?’ he asks. ‘It’s just that the board are convening an emergency meeting due to lack of funding and, stupidly, I deleted my notes from my PC once I’d dictated them. We’re going to be a bit lost without them.’
What?I blink, stupefied. Is he seriously asking me about something that happened aeons ago? In another lifetime, it seems to me now, when my bloody life wasn’t falling apart?
‘I don’t know, John,’ I answer, feeling irrationally agitated suddenly. ‘Why don’t you pop over to the admin assistants’ office and ask them?’As in, assert your authority and stop expecting me to do everything for you.
‘Oh well, not to worry.’ He sighs expansively. ‘I’m sure the board members will understand. I think I’ve committed some of it to memory. I’ll just have to wing—’
‘Alternatively, you could suggest that the board members drag themselves out of the dark ages and get online?’ I say facetiously over him. ‘You could send the minutes directly yourself then, couldn’t you, instead of having to post them out?’
Shocked, clearly, John doesn’t speak for a moment, then, ‘Yes, well, thanks for your help, Karla,’ he says abruptly. ‘Like I said, don’t rush back.’
Then he’s gone. And I realise I might have just lost my job.
Holding my breath, I stare at my phone, scarcely able to believe what I’ve done. Cold fear settles inside me; a new fear. Fear that I might actually be deranged, intent on self-destruction, annihilating all that is dear to me. My life is falling apart. I’m blaming Jason, blaming my father, but is it me? I’m ruining my life, Jason’s life, my children’s lives. I am losingeverything, and I have no idea how to stop it.
Thirty-Seven
JASON
Having collected the kids from school at the end of the day, which he’d being doing for a while, with Karla being either out or out of it, Jason ushered them out of the car. He didn’t mind doing the school runs. They were equally his responsibility, and he didn’t have much to do in the office now that Mark was taking over the reins. He worried that Karla couldn’t see the damage this disruption to their routines was doing though. The damage she was doing to her relationship with them. Wondering what the lie of the land was, how Karla was, since he’d left her, still in bed, this morning, he let the kids into the house before him, closed the front door and then swapped surprised glances with Holly and Josh.
‘Mum’s cooking.’ Josh pushed his glasses up his nose and blinked at him, puzzled. Given that Karla had been obvious by her absence from the kitchen lately, Jason understood his confusion.
‘Smells like meatballs,’ Holly whispered worriedly.
Picking up the distinct aroma of garlic, onions and tomatoes, Jason guessed Holly was right. She was preparing the kids’ favourite.Damn.He sighed heavily. She might have rung or texted him. How the hell was he going to tell her they’d already eaten?
‘We’re going to be indeeeeptrouble,’ Josh said, in exaggerated tones. Then he glanced sideways at Holly and sliced his hand demonstratively across his throat.
‘Will you growup,’ Holly snapped irritably, giving him a swift nudge with her elbow.
‘Oi,that hurt.’ Josh scowled and rubbed his assaulted arm. ‘Dad, tell her.’
‘It was supposed to, moron,’ Holly muttered.
‘Kids…’ Jason shot them a warning glance as he dropped their rucksacks onto the hall floor. ‘Now’s not the time.’
‘Sorry,’ Holly said, with an apologetic shrug. ‘What do we do?’ she asked, looking nervously up at him.
‘We could always pretend to eat it,’ Josh suggested helpfully.
Holly rolled her eyes and emitted a heavy sigh of despair. ‘A moron, definitely.’
‘We could take our rucksacks in,’ Josh went on, unperturbed. ‘And feed the meatballs into them, while she’s not looking.’
Holly simply stared at him, astounded.
