Jason flicked to the messages he and Mark had exchanged late last night, the attachment Mark had sent, and his heart flipped over.Shit.‘Mark sent it,’ he said quickly. ‘He’s on Tinder.’
‘Looking to hook up,’ Karla said. ‘I gathered. So,doesshe have a sister?’ Taking a large gulp of her wine, she picked up the bottle and came back towards him.
Jesus.Jason scrunched his eyes closed. ‘I was joking.’ He scrambled for a plausible way to explain. ‘It was just… something to say. Look, Karla, I’m sorry. I can see how this might look. I shouldn’t have—’
‘Fancied a foursome, did you?’ Karla stopped in front of him, the look in her eyes one of soul-crushing humiliation.
‘What?’ Astonished, Jason searched her face. Surely she didn’t think…? ‘Come on, Karla.’ He reached for her hand. ‘You don’t seriously imagine I…’
‘Sounds like fun,’ Karla said, her wounded gaze never leaving his. ‘Maybe I should try it sometime. I wouldn’t want to be seen as sexually unadventurous, after all, would I?’
‘Karla…’ Realising how hurt she was, Jason’s heart dropped like a stone. ‘Please don’t. I forgot to delete it, that’s all. I promise you there is no way I—’
He stopped as there was a tap on the kitchen door.
Karla retracted her hand, moving away from him, as Robert stepped in. Jason ran his hand over his neck in frustration. He felt utterly powerless. She must have imagined all sorts, which might explain why she’d gone to so much effort tonight. And what did he do? Her reliable husband, who appeared to be keeping dubious images on his phone? Storm in and accuseherof being disloyal. She’d been reaching out to him. She’d been trying to fix things. She was always trying to fix things, rescue bad situations that he’d created. She was always there for him. And all he could do in return was mess things up. Was he really going to mess up the rest of her life out of sheer bloody-mindedness? Mess up his kids’ lives? Karla was right. He needed to stop thinking about himself and start thinking about his family.
‘Not interrupting anything, am I?’ Robert asked, looking interestedly between them. ‘I thought I’d get off, Karla,’ he went on. ‘I can see Jason’s too distracted to have any kind of sensible conversation tonight.’
Sarcastic git.Jason’s gaze went to Karla, who said nothing. She didn’t have to. She was busying herself at the sink in order to hide the fact that she was upset from her father, which pretty much said it all.
‘Robert, wait.’ Jason stopped him as he turned to the hall.
Robert turned back, his eyebrows raised enquiringly.
Feeling sick to his gut, Jason steeled himself to do what he’d sworn he never would. ‘I’ll call you,’ he said, though the words almost stuck in his throat. ‘About the proposition you mentioned.’
Robert’s eyes widened momentarily, as if he was taken aback. Then, ‘Not before time,’ he said, a smile Jason couldn’t quite work out curving his mouth. ‘I’ll look forward to our discussions. No need to call. Just turn up on Monday. Two o’clock. Make sure to be punctual, though, Jason. I have a tight schedule.’
‘Hold on, Dad, I’ll see you out.’ Karla turned from the sink, as, having set the tone for their dealings together, Robert continued on up the hall. ‘Thank you,’ she mouthed to Jason, immense relief obvious in her eyes as she hurried past him.
‘No need,’ Robert called back, followed by, ‘Damn. Silly place to leave a computer, Jason, if you don’t mind my saying. I almost fell over it.’
Robert made a great show of untangling the strap of the computer bag from his feet. Karla hurried to relieve him of it, and placed it on the hall table.
‘Thanks, Dad,’ she said, squeezing his arm as she showed him out of the door.
Jason so wishedhecould show him out of the door. Permanently.
Eleven
JASON
Waking up in his own bed, rather than the spare bed, Jason was disorientated for a second. He’d slept badly, despite the fact that they were at least avoiding spending the night in separate rooms. The immense frustration he’d been feeling when they’d come to bed – after a strained Sunday, avoiding discussion of anything emotive around the kids – hadn’t been helped when he’d found himself incapable of making love to his wife.
Karla had turned to him, wanted to make love with him. And he’d wanted to. After so long lying together, barely touching, with their problems hanging ominously between them, he’d been desperate to close the gap, to feel the kind of closeness that making meaningful love brings, but he hadn’t been able to. Karla had been understanding, snuggling up to him, whispering that it didn’t matter, that it was perfectly understandable, given the stress he was under. Jason had seen the fleeting uncertainty when he’d looked into her eyes though. Her insecurity, just for a second. Insecurity which had undoubtedly been planted there by him and that damn stupid photograph on his phone.
Sighing in despair, he ran a hand over his face and stared up at the ceiling. He would make it up to her. Organise a romantic evening out – the theatre or a dance club, maybe – and a luxury hotel room for the night. At least now he might be able to afford to. Hopefully, caving in and agreeing to take the loan from her father would go some way towards showing her that he did want to make things up to her. That he cared about her and really wasn’t looking for cheap sexual kicks ogling other women.
He still wasn’t convinced that accepting financial help from Fenton wouldn’t invite more problems than it would solve, but the reality was that his business would fold without it. And at least this way, even if it meant he would have to swallow every ounce of his pride, Karla would have some peace of mind. Things were never going to be right between them while they were both constantly worrying about money; he could see that now. Jason just hoped he didn’t live to regret it. He had a feeling he would, but if it meant Karla’s and the kids’ futures were safe, it had to be the right thing to do.
Propping himself up on his elbow, he studied his wife in the early light of dawn. She was beautiful. Even with all they’d been struggling with, she tried to be upbeat and positive. Supportive – she’d always been that.
Picking up a strand of her long, blonde hair, he ran his thumb and forefinger along the length of it. He loved her hair. He hoped she never cut it, as she sometimes threatened to when she claimed it looked like straw. Jason never thought it looked anything but glorious – more so when it was messy, like it was now. He loved her, he thought determinedly. After so many arguments between them lately, which had come close to breaking them, he needed to prove that to her.
He saw her eyelashes flutter slightly as she stirred. She hadn’t slept well either. She hardly ever did, always seeming to wake in the night. He often woke, sure he could hear her quietly crying. Sometimes, she would jolt awake, which scared him half to death. She would talk in her sleep, calling out her sister’s name. She never talked to him about what was haunting her, which completely gutted him. Jason had never learned the details of Sarah’s death, other than that it was something to do with a bang on the head. The whole thing seemed to be cloaked in secrecy for some reason. Diana had said that Karla found it too painful to talk about. Judging by the nightmares, Jason had to accept that that must be the case, even now. He wished she would trust him enough to confide in him though. Sometimes, when she was upset, she seemed to go into herself, to switch off almost, rather than reach out. He wished she wouldn’t, that she would realise he was there for her. Always would be.
Brushing her hair gently aside, he pressed a soft kiss to her bare shoulder, at which Karla wriggled onto her back. ‘Sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I didn’t mean to disturb you.’
