It was certainly something Robert could use, rather than resort to the drastic measures he’d thought he might require to convince Connolly why he shouldn’t be in Karla’s life. That could backfire drastically.
Yes, it was definitely worth consideration.
Arranging his face to appropriately concerned, as of course he would be, Robert pushed the door open and went in. She would be broken-hearted, naturally, but he felt it was his duty as a father to point out that leopards rarely changed their spots.
Nine
KARLA
I can’t believe that my father, the very last person I want to know about this, would walk into the kitchen at the precise second I’m crying my eyes out. Aware that my father hasn’t rated Jason since the day he discovered he’d ‘blighted’ my life, getting me pregnant – which was nothing to do with me, of course – I feel as if I’ve just handed him the dynamite with which to blow our marriage apart. He’s bound to say something to Jason about this, if only to wind him up.God, what have I done?
Mum reaches across the table for my hand as I exhale a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears. ‘His friend sent it to him,’ she reminds me firmly. ‘It’s not like he’s been browsing these sites himself, for goodness’ sake. Don’t go rushing in, accusing him of anything without the facts, Karla. You’ll only end up arguing again.’
‘You’ve been arguing?’ my father asks, arching an eyebrow questioningly as he looks at me, and then down to Jason’s phone on the table, on which is the bloody photograph. I dearly wish I hadn’t said anything to Mum.
‘About my offering to help him out financially, presumably, before his business goes under?’ My father looks back at me, unimpressed.
‘No,’ I lie, in defence of my husband, and then backtrack. ‘Not that, exactly. Jason’s been worrying. Obviously, he has.’Not least about what you might want in exchange for this financial help, I don’t say. ‘And when we got back from Mum’s birthday party, we found the babysitter had allowed Holly to watch unsuitable stuff on Netflix, and… Oh, I don’t know.’ I sigh, growing agitated and weary with it all – Dad’s tiresome crusade to prove Jason isn’t ‘good enough’ for me; Jason’s flat refusal to accept the help he clearly needs. This. I would never have spoken to Mum if I’d known my father was right outside the door. I shouldn’t have. I should have spoken to Jason first. I should never have gone behind his back and talked to my father about offering him a loan.
But then, Jason’s decisions affect my future too, and the children’s futures, I’d reasoned. I’ve supported Jason every step of the way while he’s been trying to build up his company, juggling the children and my job. I can’t work any harder. And, yes, I pulled away from him in bed last night, but only because I was upset and confused. I love Jason. I used to feel that I’d lost the other half of me. I found it in Jason. Found myself. I’ve never really gone for all that ‘he completes me’ stuff, but the truth is, Jason made me whole again. My father treated him contemptibly from the moment he met him, determined I shouldn’t marry him. Many other men would have been frightened off – or even paid off; I wouldn’t put my father above that. They would have probably thought they’d had a narrow escape. It wasn’t just my unplanned pregnancy, after all. It was Jason’s, too. His future to consider. Jason had considered. He was equally determined to stay. He loved me, he said. There was nothing my father could ever say or do to change that. He wasn’t going anywhere. Jason gavemethe confidence to stand firm. Perhaps I could have without him. But I was stronger with him. Our love is stronger than this. I can’t make myself believe he’s cheated on me. He wouldn’t. We haven’t struggled for twelve years, through thick and thin, and made two beautiful children together, for Jason to throw it all away. He loves his kids without question. Hewouldn’t.
‘It was my fault,’ I say to Mum, determined now to end the subject and not give my father any more ammunition. ‘I shouldn’t have brought the subject up at that time of night. I’m just too tired to think straight lately.’
‘Exhausted, I shouldn’t wonder, what with working almost full-time and two children to look after,’ my father says pointedly. ‘You’d think, with a wife and children he can barely support, he would have put his pride aside by now.’ Shaking his head, he picks up the phone and scrolls through it before I can stop him.
‘Dad!’ Jumping to my feet, I attempt to take it back. This has nothing to do with him. If he dares mention it…
‘Give it back, Robert.’ Mum gives him a warning glance. ‘It’s just a misunderstanding. It doesn’t need you interfering.’
My father’s expression is scathing as he sweeps his eyes over her. He’s not happy being told what to do, having his authority questioned. His employees are loyal because he pays them to be, but none of them ever dare to confront him.
‘Do you honestly believe Jason has been browsing these sites, Karla?’ Mum turns back to me. ‘That he’s contemplating doing so?’
‘No,’ I say, after a second, though part of me still isn’t sure.
‘Well, there you go then.’ Mum glances again at my father, who finally places the phone back on the table. ‘Speak to him when he gets back. You’ll no doubt find he’s full of apologies and devastated that you’re upset. Go home, get the children to bed early, crack open a bottle, and cuddle up in front of a film together. And steer clear of anything emotive. You’re both too exhausted to see things objectively.’
She’s right. I’m getting things out of proportion. I’m so busy trying to avert a crisis, I’m creating one. I drag my hair back from my face. It’s a bedraggled mess, desperately in need of a cut and nothing like the soft, glossy curls of the woman I have imagined I’m competing with.
‘In fact, why don’t you let Holly and Josh stay over?’ Mum suggests, getting up to collect the mugs. ‘It will give you two some time together.’
‘No!’ I say quickly, grabbing the phone and my bag, ready to herd the kids up.
Her back to me, Mum stiffens visibly. I’ve hurt her feelings, but she knows I won’t let them stay over. She knows why, but she never speaks about it. It’s like it never happened. But itdid.
My father turns away as I look at him, avoiding eye contact. I don’t need to wonder why.
‘I’ll go and drag them away from the TV. Maybe another time, Mum,’ I say brightly.When Dad’s away on one of his business trips, I don’t add.
She turns from the dishwasher, nods and smiles, but there’s a sadness in her eyes. How could there not be?
Going into the lounge, I maintain my false cheery demeanour. ‘Come on, you two,’ I say, clapping my hands to get their attention. ‘Time to go. Dad will be back soon.’
‘Aw,Mum…’ Josh looks around from where he’s lying on his tummy in front of the TV. ‘It’s only halfway through.’
‘It’s recorded,’ I remind him, my attention going to Holly, who’s curled up in the armchair, riveted to the screen, despite having taunted Josh on the way here, telling himStar Warswas for little kids. ‘If you both behave and get your skates on, we’ll stop off for takeaway on the way.’ I’m possibly overdoing the treats today, but cooking for four is not on my agenda tonight. A romantic meal for two and making love with my husband, however, definitely are.
‘Yay!’ Holly whoops, unfurling herself from the chair in a flash. ‘Pizza,’ she plumps for. ‘Triple pepperoni and cheese, stuffed crust.’
