I’ve managed to capture that quality of his, the one that fascinates me most.He’s a warrior, through-and-through.But the persnickety hard-ass image he projects is just a façade, the one he built to protect a heart that’s been broken.He built it to keep people at a distance.
But not me.
Evander decided not to keep me away.He let me in.And I love him for that more than I can say.
I know that I’ve told myself, half-jokingly, that Evander’s physical beauty has ruined me for any other man as long as I live.But it’s more than that.His tender heart has set the bar too high for anyone else, as well.The same goes for his quick wit, his playfulness, and his passionate sexuality.
Phew!
I take a deep breath and break the daydream, returning my focus to the paper.
For this latest portrait, I started with the charcoal sketch and protected it with a clear poly coat.Over that, I’ve had fun with water-soluble oil-based glazes in the cool colors of winter—dusky blues, violets, grays, and whites—the colors that surrounded us during the storm.
Now, I’m deepening the colors and creating highlights with oil pastels.
It’s coming together nicely.And I especially appreciate how I’ve left a portion of the image unfinished.Because I’m not finished with Evander, and he’s not finished with me.There’s so much more to come.
I have faith that this image will fill itself out in time, in full dimension and in real life, not just on this flat piece of paper.
I’d give anything for him to be here with me now, sitting by the windowsill in the sunshine, acting as my muse.
There’s a soft knock on my door.
“Come in!”
CHAPTER 58
Phoebe
Mama pokes her head into the doorway.Sasha and Rosie go running to greet her.Lula barely looks up from her nap, as is typical.
“Am I disturbing you?”
“No, of course not.Come on in and sit down.”
She closes the door behind her and glances down at the large paper on the table before me.She brings a hand to her chest and her eyes go wide.
“Oh!That’s…you’ve captured Evander quite well.”
“Thanks.”
“He’s a very beautiful man.”
Okay.I didn’t expect that from my mother.She lifts her gaze from the portrait to me, and I see hesitation in her eyes.
“Is Dad all right?”
“Yes.He’s good.I just wondered if I might talk with you for a minute.I…I wanted to share something with you.”
“Of course, Mama.”
She grabs the small straight-back chair by the window and pulls it closer to the art table.She smiles softly at me.A lump of dread lands in my gut.
Oh, no.Please let this be aboutanythingother than the virginity I let get away.Anythingbut my missing virginity.
“I see how much you love Evander, and I see how much he loves you.Maybe that’s the reason your little shack burnt to the ground.”
I drop my oil pastel to the table.
