And now she’s doing what she can with what we had left in the first aid kit—one pair of nylon gloves, one sterile gauze bandage, two antiseptic wipes, and a small bit of antibiotic ointment.We do have those four jumbo-ass rolls of medical tape, though, which still bugs the shit out of me.
I should have checked and double-checked what was in the first aid kit before I took off.True, I threw a bunch of extra items into the ATV locker just for the hell of it, and they probably helped save Phoebe’s life, but I wasn’t as relentless about safety as I should have been.
Because it was just me.I can survive anything.
But if I’d even suspected that Phoebe would be counting on me…fuck.I’d have checked and rechecked every component of the vehicle, every expiration date on every packet of food, every battery level in every device.I’d bring along the most sophisticated tech I could get my hands on, too, along with lots and lots of extra warm clothing.
I long ago learned that you can’t be a lone operator and a member of a team at the same time.SEAL training drummed into my head that working together saves lives and leads to mission success.Favorable outcomes spring from supporting your teammates while owning your own shit.
I think it’s time to own my own shit when it comes to Phoebe.I’m confident that we’ll get out of this alive, but I see no reason to delay it.Life is precious.Every moment I’ve had with her has been precious.
“This will tug at the hair on your arm,” she says, taping the bandage to my skin.
“No problem.”
“But it needs to stay covered.”
“Tracking that.”
“If I had another suture needle and thread I’d mend your sleeve.”
“It’s okay.”
“But I’m going to tape it up, all right?At least the wind won’t get in there.”
I smile, watching her carefully pull together the melted fabric and use a small bit of tape to hold it in place.Then she proceeds to wrap me up like a mummy.
“You know, I’ve been thinking,” She orbits the tape roll around my arm.“We’ve done everything backwards.”
“In what way?”
“Out of order.You know, no texting.No meetingfor coffee.No actual dates.You saw me naked.I saw you naked.And then we just jumped right into the wild sex and intense conversation.”
This woman makes me smile, even when there’s fuck-all to smile about.
“Not that I’m complaining.I’ve enjoyed both those things a lot.”
“Hey, Phoebe?”
“Yeah?”
“I was angry at myself today, not you.”
The tape roll stops in mid-air.
“I was angry because I allowed you to get close enough that you could reach the only button I’ve got, and baby, you smacked it hard.”
Phoebe slowly raises her eyes to me.In the dying light from our only lantern, the gold and greens of her irises take on an ethereal glow.She looks like an otherworldly sprite, a faerie in a ski mask and parka hood.
“I don’t like to admit that anything terrifies me.”
She nods.“I know you don’t.I’m terrified of heights.Did I ever tell you that?”
“No.”
“I’m fine with flying for some reason.I actually enjoy it!But the other stuff?Not so much.”She shakes her head.“I tried bungee jumping into the Rio Grande Gorge near Taos.Big mistake.And then I almost barfed during a fancy dinner in a restaurant at the top of the Sears Tower.”
“This is all helpful background to have.”
