For that matter…
We were Mated now, and I should be able tofeelher.
I sat up and swung my legs from the bed, reaching for my cane. “Stevie?” There was no answer as I hopped over to the chair where I could attach my leg. Gods below, I don’t think I ever put the damned thing on yesterday, did I? We spent the day in bed, and I couldn’t help the way I preened at the memory of her pleasure.
“Stevie, sweetheart, where are you?” I stomped my foot to settle the leg, then pulled on a pair of shorts and headed for the living room. “You out here?”
She wasn’t in the living room. Or the bathroom or the kitchen.
The fucking condo isn’tthatbig, and I knew the truth before I even finished searching: She wasn’t here.
Frowning, I stood in the living room, hands on my hips, and glanced about. The place was a mess, but the clothing I’d bought her had been picked up and put away, I guess. She wasn’t home.
Where was she?
After an increasingly frantic six and a half minutes, I found her folded letter by the coffee maker. It wascovered in her scent, and I realized my hands were shaking as I stared down at it.
You have to read it, you idiot.
Yeah, except…
I took a deep breath.
Except, I couldn’t help but thinking that a letter had started all this. The empty pit in my stomach made me wonder if a letter was going to end it too.
No. She’s your Mate.
Whatever the letter said, I could fix this. I was determined to have a forever with Stevie.
And who knows, maybe she’d just gone out for donuts or something?
My fingers fumbled the paper open.
Dear Garrak,
Let me start by saying that you’re my favorite person. Nothing will change that. I care aboutyouus,and I want this to work. But I need some time to myself to think things through. You tell me we’re Mates, and we’re together now that you’ve—you know. “Claimed me”.
But I’m afraid you don’t see the real me, Garrak. You take care of me when I need it, and I’m grateful for that. And for your protection. But I don’t need that ALL the time, and I don’t know if you can understand that. Can you let me fail and make mistakes and beresponsible for myself, while still being with you?
I don’t know.
I want to be with you. Desperately and forever. But I also don’t want to spend forever just sitting on my ass being taken care of by you. Although the bubble baths ARE nice.FuckI’m not making a lot of sense, and I’m sorry. I just need to get my head straight. I love the sex and the comfort and the protection and the way you make me feel safe and beautiful and and and
See what I mean? I love all that, but I’m scared of becoming who you need me to be, just to be able to experience all that. Give me a few days to figure it out, okay? I’ll see you in New Orleans.
Yours,
Stevie
My knees had given out,and when I reached the end of the letter, I realized I had sagged against the counter.
She hadn’t gone out for donuts. She’d left.Gone.
I slid to the floor, sitting on my ass on the tiles, her letter in my fist. The joy I’d felt as I woke up was gone, replaced by an emptiness. MyKteerwas quiet, and that was eerie as fuck. It was as if none of me knew what to do.
My Mate was gone.
I dropped my head to my forearm, braced on my knee. I was breathing too fast, too desperately. Stevie was gone.
