“How can I not?” Her lips twisted. “I thought I was so smug, so righteous in my attitude that I was different from other women in Society. I disregarded expectations, flaunted convention, refused so many honorable offers of marriage that first Season. Oh, yes, I happily broke all the rules, yet it was Lavinia who paid the price. With her life.”
The marquess could not credit what he was hearing. “You cannot believe that if you had married Julian Wingate this might have been avoided?”
Meredith turned her head and gazed blindly across the room. “I am not certain. But if I had accepted an offer of marriage that first Season, Hawkins might have forgotten about me. I might not have offended him so greatly, angered him to the point where he would do murder to put me in my place.”
“Stop it, Meredith. Listen to what you are saying.” Trevor clenched his hands into fists by his side, fearing he would reach for her again and upset her even more. “Your emotions have overridden your common sense. You are not responsible for Lavinia’s death.”
“I am,” she whispered brokenly. “I am.”
He laid a finger across her lips. Her body went rigid. “Heed my words, for I speak the truth, Meredith. This was not your doing. Hawkins, and only Hawkins, is accountable to the law and to God for all the horror he has wreaked upon this world. Including Lavinia’s death.”
Meredith’s eyes flared in protest. She stared at him wildly for several long moments, and Trevor braced himself for the arguments that were sure to come. But then her golden eyelashes flickered, her shoulders slumped forwards and without further warning Meredith burst into sobs.
Slowly the marquess edged forward. She cried out when he reached for her, but was too distraught to put up much of a fight. He gathered her in his arms and held her tightly, absorbing her trembling sobs.
Trevor’s eyes slid closed. Lord, it felt so right to hold her. He wished he could take away her suffering, could bear the burden of this horrifying pain himself.
“It should have been me,” she sobbed.
“Ah, darling. Do not say such things.” He tightened his hold as her body started trembling. “It was a terrible, cruel twist of fate. I will not allow you to unfairly blame yourself. Please, Meredith. For my sake, you must put this from your mind.”
She lifted her tear-streaked face. “How can you be so kind and comforting to me?”
He pressed his lips lightly against hers. “Dearest Meredith, I have loved but two women in my lifetime. Hawkins took the first from me. I will not allow him to take the second.”
There was stunned disbelief in the two watery blue eyes that stared up at him. “You cannot possibly love me.”
Trevor’s face split into an enormous grin. Revealing his heart had brought him a tremendous sense of peace and joy—and had also managed to stop his wife’s tears. Whoever said love could work miracles certainly had it right.
He kissed her forehead and murmured, “Oh, but I do love you, Meredith.”
The sorrow and pain etched on her lovely face were slowly replaced by a warm gleam of hope and amazement. “Are you certain?”
“Very.” He hugged her fiercely. “Though my behavior since our marriage has hardly demonstrated it, there have always been deep feelings whenever I was near you. I did not understand what they were or why they made me so wild until I realized I might lose you.”
“You love me.” She repeated the words to herself slowly, and Trevor smiled with tenderness.
“Yes, and because of that love you cannot leave me.” He stroked her hair. “My actions of the past have proven me unworthy of your affections, yet I vow I shall do all within my power, for as long as I live, to bring your heart to mine.”
The edges of her lips curved up mysteriously. “I cannot give you something that already belongs to you, my lord.”
He cupped her cheek with his hand and tilted her chin until their lips touched. It was a sweet, tender kiss full of love. “Meredith.”
“Trevor.” She gave him a heart-melting smile.
His chest tightened. “You are everything that was missing from my life. I buried myself away when I lost Lavinia, turning my back on all I had in an effort to forget. Then one evening you lured me out to a secluded section of the garden and kissed me senseless.”
Meredith dipped her chin and blushed. “Please, do not remind me. I still cannot fathom what possessed me to help my brothers win that ridiculous bet.”
“Fate.” He lifted her hand and nibbled gently on each fingertip. “It has given me a second chance at happiness, and I shall not tempt its wisdom.”
“Oh, Trevor, what right do we have to happiness considering all that has happened?”
He enfolded her again in his embrace, needing to feel the warmth of her body against his.
“We will never forget the past, but we cannot let it deny our future. Lavinia taught us both what it means to have a giving heart. What better way to honor that legacy than to share our hearts with each other?”
Meredith went very still, then shuddered with soul-deep emotion. The soft light in her eyes reflected her love and her overwhelming need, but most importantly it held the promise of the future.
