He’s annoying.
Tell ya who else is annoying. Kai Motherfuckin’ Hale. The first morning after Brooks and I fooled around together, I got up and went downstairs to start some coffee, and the guy glowered at me hardcore. Then, heaccidentallysneezed into my freshly poured cup of Joe.
If that was accidental, then I’m the motherfuckin’ Queen of England. Wasn’t anything accidental about it. Kind of like how, later that day, my clothes wound up in a tree. Literally hanging from the highest branches of the giant fir that stands in the middle of camp.
Want to know how I deduced it was him? Glad you asked. I caught him on one of the game cameras I had strategically placed around the property for our resident trash panda. Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure I graduated from middle school, oh, about two decades ago.
And that’s not all. Kai, that shithead, caused me to get into a jealous spat with Brooks. He’s lucky he’s made himself scarce lately, because I could rip his head off.
When I hopped on Venmo to transfer my paycheck over to my bank account, I got a little fired up about seeing a payment Brooks made to Kai with the comment:
I may not be totally down with all this emoji lingo, but the insinuation there was pretty fucking clear.
Feeling pretty pissed that something must have happened between them when they were down at Portland Pride together, I immediately stormed off to my cabin, ready to pack my scant belongings, hop in my truck, and disappear back to Ternbay. That was until Brooks, once again, managed to leap in front of my damn truck and stopped me. When I showed him what had gotten me so pissed, the hurt on his face told me all I needed to know…
He was being one-hundred percent honest with me when he said he had been so annoyed that he was expected to pay Kai back for sushi he never asked for, that he hadn’t even paid attention to the preloaded comment Kai had himself typed. So far, Brooks and I have had two misunderstandings, and both of them have been because Pretty Boy is some snaky saboteur. And to think, I actually gave him credit for being sincere the day he picked me up and drove me to town. He’s a certified bullshitter, is what he is.
Fine, Kai wants to be petty? I can see his petty and raise him one. I may or may not have enlisted Sully’s help to teach me to make brownies from scratch, just so I could lace them with a layer of those chocolate-coated laxatives. Brooks and I just need to sit back and wait for him to indulge in some.
Fuck around and find out, my friend.
Brooks thinks Kai is acting this way because he’s jealous of me ‘stealing Brooks away from him,’ but Brooks assures me there was no stealing that needed to be had. Brooks has seenenough of Kai’s pettiness now to have his golden image tarnished. Good, because I can’t see what Brooks ever saw in him anyway.
So, as an added bonus, me fighting fire with laxatives just served to woo Brooks even more.
Anyway, so more woo-ing is what leads me here. On the far edge of the property, seated on a craggy peninsula best reached by canoe or kayak, I found this old unused platform for one of those canvas tents like the kind we used to use at explorer camp. I think I’d like to surprise Brooks with a new tent. He could use another private getaway, even if it’s just to spend an afternoon reading in one of the hammocks I plan to hang in here, and he doesn’t have time to trek the trail to the brook.
Today, I’ve tasked myself with ripping out all the mushy boards and replacing them with some composite decking material—the kind that won’t ever rot away again. I’ve managed to lug down all the new lumber on the nights I haven’t spent in Brooks’ bed, towing the boards over on a float behind the new canoe.
I freeze and crouch down when I suddenly hear voices and footsteps crunching the dead pine needles on the trail.
Colton pops out from behind one of the overgrown shrubs in the path, Petro in tow—both looking surprised to see me here. “Oh! Heyyy… Dad,” he drawls, looking at me suspiciously, the same way I’m eyeing him. “Whatcha up to?” he adds, in an attempt to sound aloof, like he didn’t just get busted trying to find a private spot with his boyfriend.
I think he forgets I was young once too.
Not that I’m old, because I’m definitely not fuckin’ old.
I stand, wiping sweat from my brow. I gesture at the lumber behind me. “Fixing up this old tent platform. I think the better question is what areyou twodoing down here?”
Colton bites his lip ring.
“Don’t be mad at him; it was my idea,” Petro interjects, reaching for my son’s hand protectively.
“I’m not mad,” I tell them, shrugging. This catches Colton off guard, which I find humorous, so I add, “Kinda glad you aren’t mackin’ on one another in front of the young kids.”
“Mackin’ on?” Colton asks, scrunching up his nose. “Dad, seriously, some of the shit you say is just cringe.”
I chuckle.
“So… it’s really not going to bother you if I kiss my boyfriend?” Colton asks sheepishly.
“Keep your hands where I can see them, and your tongues in your own faces, but yah… go for it.”
Colton and Petro both grin and give each other a quick peck on the lips, and guess what—
The world didn’t implode.
Lightning bolts didn’t shoot out from suddenly stormy skies.
