The moment Evan’s lips wrap around the head of my dick, I’m a goner. An absolute freakin’ astronaut, because I’m out of this world. What the heck was I even thinking by telling him touse melike some sort of experimentation instrument, as if I could maintain that separation betweenjust sexandcatching feelings?
I wasn’t, that’s what. Because it’s not like this is the first blowjob I’ve ever gotten—and, let’s face it, it’s evident Evan is a total newbie at this—but it’s because I’m getting some sort of thrill over watching Evan take what he wants.
And what he wants, apparently, is to pleasure the dickens out of me.
Again.
I doubt that, by the time I finally get some sleep tonight, there will not be a single dicken left in me. Actually, you know what? That’s false. I may have used the wrong pseudo-swear. I mean, I’d like to haveadick inme, but I know that’s not going to happen… it’s far too soon.
Maybe I’ll stick to the term ‘bejeezus’ instead of ‘dickens.’
He’s sucking nonsensical terminology right out of me now. Great. Just wonderful.
Actually, you know what? The distraction is kind of necessary, so maybe I can last a little longer this time. Blowing my load so quickly before was a little embarrassing, but, ugh—I couldn’t help it! I know I told him to use me like a sex toy, but I felt like anything but that.
I’m trying not to snap my hips, though every ounce of me wants to shove myself into his face. He’s taking his time, learning this new skill, so I’m going to lay back and enjoy this—even though it’s making me twitchy to do so.
Suddenly, Evan swirls his tongue around my engorged tip again, and I make some kind of noise—not even a word—and I know I’ve officially gone off the deep end.
I’m moaning out nonsensical crap, and I can’t eventhinkcoherently. I can tell you who can do what though: Evan can learn quickly how to suck a dick, My-lanta. His hot mouth is doing wondrous things to me. I’m struggling to keep my hands from balling into fists in his hair.
Also, thank the heavens for that little extra time I had to spend in the shower today for some self-care. I am glad I finally got to trim the hedges, so his first foray into giving blowjobs wasn’t met with him getting a face full of my pubes. I already feel exposed enough.
He doesn’t even seem to mind that I have a comparatively narrower penis than him. In fact, I think it’s actually making it easier for him to practice the act of giving a blowie. For once, my pencil dick isn’t being made fun of.
That's… different. Nice.
He’s drawing noises out of me that aren’t quite song, but must sound like music to his ears, because every time I make any sort of noise, he picks up the pace a little or adds some specialattention to the sensitive underside of my head. He hasn’t forgotten about my balls either, though, which is also very nice. I wouldn’t expect such gentle, tender rolling with such strong, calloused hands.
Oh, he definitely wants to make me come again, without me being able to return the favor. I saw how hard he was before he buried his face in my lap, and that level of erectness has to hurt. I bet I could’ve done a whole body plank on that monster, and it’d hold me up.
I offered to take care of him, though, back in the stream. I really did. But then he melted me by nudging my hand out of the way and telling me, ‘If you take over, I won’t be able to memorize everything about you.’
I almost drowned there, on the spot. I mean, who freakin’saysthat in real life?!
He probably just meant it as a generalization, about the experience, rather than actuallyme—but my stupid, lovesick heart flip-flopped around in my ribs nonetheless. I’m such a romantic. Sounds cliché, but I really am hopelessly so.
Kai pokes me about it all the time, when he can see I’m struggling to separate our past from our current encounters. He’s always quick to remind me that what we do in his bedroom—or the backseat of the rust bucket—stops there though. There, I feel like I’m truly being used as a sex toy.
Technically, this right now should feel no different—I’m simply an implement here, while Evan works on exploring his sexuality—but itdoesfeel different. It feels charged and reverent at the same time. I can’t let myself fall for this man, though. I simply can’t.
I feel Evan pull off me with apop, leaving a trail of spit from the tip of my dick to his mouth, before his tongue darts out and captures it. “Am I not doing okay? You got pretty quiet up there…” he asks me, nerves lacing his tone.
I reach down and run my fingers through his hair. He blinks, eyes full of concern. He needn't fret. I worry that if I were to flip over, my needle-dick could probably pop a hole in this sleeping pad.
“You’re doing fine,” I console him, running my hand down his cheek.
“I want to do better than fine,” he huffs, propping himself up on his elbows between my spread thighs. “What do I have to do to make this better?”
“It’s nothing you’re doing wrong. It’s the one-sided attention that I can’t get past,” I tell him.
He cocks his head to the side, taking the request in. His brows knit. “Has no one ever pleasured you without expecting repayment?”
I hesitate for a beat, letting that question really soak in.
“Brooks—” He fixes me with a heated glare. “I told you, I want to memorize everything about you. I’ve been doing it for weeks now, outside this new sexual stuff. You give and you give. Who gives you anything back with no expectation of anything in return?”
“No one,” I blurt out, before I have a chance to overthink a more apropos, less pathetic sounding, answer.
