He sleekly glides ahead a few feet before popping up and whipping his hair back out of his face. “Woo! That’s cold,” he chatters, sucking in hard to collect his breath. “Feels good,” he finally adds, like he’s trying to convince himself more than me.
I watch as just the upper half of his torso is above the water, the rest of his body distorted by the movement of the stream and the light from the moon above illuminating the natural pool. “You wanna join me, or just stand there and enjoy the show?” he teases, then he must think better of it. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t kid around like that. I know you’re wrestling with everything right now.”
“I like the show,” I admit. His cheeks grow pink, but, at this point, I know it has nothing to do with the temperature of the water.
“Well, I’m afraid I’m not very comfortablebeingthe show.”
“Why not?”
“Who’s psycho-analyzing who now?” he replies with a humorless chuckle. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just not used to being the center of anyone’s attention,” he adds.
“Well, you’ve got mine right now, Brooks. All of it. What are you going to do with it?” Emboldened, I edge closer to the water, sitting on a rock next to the edge. I toe off my boots, roll my pant legs up, and let my bare feet get submerged in the cool water.
It does little to subdue the swelling in my jeans.
“I’m going to let you tell me what to do,” he says. “You’re in charge of how you process all these new discoveries you’ve made tonight. All these truths you’ve put out there. I know my ownsexuality, and I am comfortable with it. I’m at your discretion here; use me how you’d like to. Practice on me.”
Use me. That sounds like a tall ask—one I’m terrified of and elated about all at the same time. I don’t even know where to begin. How do I even start to tell him all the things I’ve envisioned with him, since I first stepped out of my truck and laid eyes on him?
“You’re overthinking it,” Brooks says, cool as can be. “You were perfectly fine stripping down to your underwear a couple weeks ago. Now, you’re second guessing yourself.” He steps up, edging his way out of the water and towards me. I watch raptly as the droplets of water trickle their way down the plains and valleys of his body.
I watch as they collect in rivulets that drip down the subtle V in his hips, directing my eyes lower still. As he creeps closer, his body becomes more and more exposed as it rises from the water. It looks like it takes some effort on his part, but he makes no move to cover himself, like I would if I knew someone’s hungry gaze was latched onto me—studying me.
Before the sight I’m really waiting for can be exposed to the night air, he stops. “Would you like to come in with me, Evan?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, giving in to the temptation that’s too great for me to continue resisting. I stand and peel off all my clothing, save for my boxers once again. There, I instinctually hesitate, too nervous to uncover myself completely, exposing the visual evidence of my desires.
It makes it too real.
This is wrong—wrong, wrong, wrong. You lack control, Waters. I knew you weren’t a real man. You’re nothing but a weak-willed excuse of a person.
Brooks tilts his head, regarding me with concern. “Whatever they’re telling you, don’t listen to them, Evan. I know it’ll be hard not to, andit won’t happen overnight. You’ve got to train your brain to ignore the negative insults it’ll hurl at you.”
Fuck, this man can read me like an open book. My shoulders unbunch, I puff out a beleaguered breath, strip out of my boxers, and take a few steps into the water towards him.
Naked.
Raw.
Exposed.
As if on cue, he gives me another tender smile—like he, once again, reads my expression better than I can myself. He doesn’t give in and look down, he maintains eye contact with me. When he holds out his hand, I accept it—accepting his guidance—as he pulls me in closer to him and back out into the depths.
I can’t help but see the symbolism in this. I’m trusting this man to guide me into the deeper waters—the deep, dark unknown—and we’ll either do one of two things: We can sink, or we can swim. As our feet both lose touch with the rocks below us, we float out towards the center of the pool. Together, we’re swimming.
I suck in a deep, choppy breath and puff it back out slowly, letting my body adjust to the drastic change in temperature. As if perfectly content to know that I’ve decided to join him, and being patient enough for me to find my comfort zone, he tilts his body up and clasps his hands behind his head, so he’s floating on the surface and looking at the stars. All the clouds from the storm before have now passed, affording us a clear view of the night sky in this clearing.
“I’m all yours,” he teases, albeit with a wistful tone, never letting his eyes wander from the constellations above. “Research away.”
I guide him over to me and hover over him as he lays prone in the water, like it's a liquid bed. I let my hands wander over his body, reveling in the way he reacts to my touch. Like he’s treasuring it—savoringit. When I work my way down to his hairless thighs, massaging and caressing my way there with my exploratory grazes, I part them and guide his legs around my waist, sitting him up slightly.
“Do you shave these?” I ask him, running my hands reverently up and down his smooth legs, a far cry from mine, which are covered in a fuckton of dark, coarse hair.
He nods. “I used to have to for swim team. It did grow back once I stopped swimming competitively, but it never grew back thick. So, I just keep ‘em smooth. It’s the little bit of self-care I allow myself, with what little free time I have. Feels amazing bare on silk sheets… not that I have any.”
I reach forward and pull him towards me, my hand cupping the back of his neck. Wordlessly, he allows me to bracket his jaw with both my hands, pulling him in for another kiss. This time, I’m not so ravenous. No, this time I know he wants me to practice this. To explore this.
I move in slowly, parting his lips with my tongue. I’m really tasting Brooks, as I slip in past his lips, tangling together in a sensual give and take; and I really fucking like it. He tastes like a forbidden sweetness—something you crave, and once you have it, you want more.
