He nodded. “I can agree with that.”
Sitting back in my seat, I lifted my glass of champagne and took a seat. “This meal was really good. I have to come back here.”
“With me, I hope,” Tai said lowly.
“Only time will tell.”
“Why do you keep hesitating?” he questioned me while studying me intently. I had to look away from his gaze because it felt like he would find the answers if he kept looking long enough.
“What do you mean?”
He tapped his fingers on the table. “I don’t know. Kinda feels like you’re holding back. Like you’re afraid to share the soft parts of you with me, afraid to actually acknowledge what we both feel growing between us.” He leaned forward, sucking the air from my lungs as I held on to his every word. “Like you’re afraid to find out that I’m nothing like the superficial, low-effort niggas you’re used to.”
I swirled the liquid in my glass slowly. “Maybe because the last time I allowed myself to believe a man was different, it made my heart sick when my hope was deferred.”
A magnificent, blinding smile appeared on his face. “What about the rest of the scripture though? The part that says a longing fulfilled is a tree of life?”
I set my glass down on the table with a soft thud. “He knows the Word, huh?”
“Yeah, I love a good proverb. Live by them, actually. Now, answer my question. Could you open yourself up to the possibility of having your longing fulfilled?”
I sighed, thinking about how Luca ruined my favorite city in the world. I wasn’t ready to find out what was on the other side of exploring someone new. So, I answered honestly. “I don’t think so.”
Ever since I answered that question, the energy between us shifted. The car was filled with silence as Tai drove me back home. If I weren’t so distracted by being back in his passenger seat, I probably would’ve been deeper into my thoughts about it.
“You drive like a maniac!” I shouted when he shot through a light turning red.
He snorted. “Says the girl who had a banged-up hoopty in her driveway.”
My mouth snapped open.Not he was judging me.“Not too much on my baby, because I know how to drive.”
He shrugged. “Shit, me too.” His engine roared, and he pressed harder on the gas.
“Stanley, please slow down. You’re making me carsick.”
I sighed in relief when he eased up on the gas. We fell silent, allowing the music to fill the space. It was as if I wanted to say something, but what could I say? After sighing to settle thenausea I felt, I focused on the city blurring by in an array of light colors.
He finally pulled up outside my house. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but he took off his seatbelt and hopped out to open my door. After grabbing my bag of leftovers, he escorted me to my door like a gentleman and waited patiently for me to unlock the door.
“Well, I enjoyed getting to know you a little better tonight,” he said lowly.
I nodded. “Yes. I enjoyed myself, and the dinner was amazing.”
He scratched his eyebrow and lowered his head. After rubbing his jaw, he finally gave me his eyes again. He handed the bag to me, then I watched him shove his hands in his pockets and step backward. “Enjoy the rest of your night, beautiful.”
I gave him a close-mouthed smile. “Thanks. You too.”
After a few more seconds of awkwardly staring at each other, I rushed inside and pressed my back into the door. I still felt the heaviness of things unsaid. I was going to bury the little seeds of hope that began to grow again tonight because it was best. His engine roared outside, which alerted me to his departure. Lifting my head, I released the breath I was holding and lifted from the door. I convinced myself that I didn’t care if I never heard from him again. I came back to the States to focus on myself, not fall in love with the first attractive man I happened to meet.
Lying back on my couch, I grabbed my beer by its neck, then took a swig. The roar of the game on my surround system had me fully locked in on the Solaire Suns’ preseason game against the Detroit Panthers. So far, we were up by ten points, and there were a few minutes until halftime.
“Let’s go, Kinga!” I yelled when my favorite player hit a three-pointer from the baseline. “Nothing but net every time.”
My stomach rumbled as a reminder that my food was taking forever to be delivered. Almost on cue, I could suddenly smell hot wings and pizza. “Food’s here!” I heard Katana yell out from my kitchen.
I shook my head. Who invited her ass over here and told her to intercept my food order? I took another sip of my beer before joining her in the kitchen.
“Hello to you too,” she said when I went straight to the sink to wash my hands, completely ignoring her.
