“How did you do it, Tiger?” He looks pained, unspeakably beautiful, teeth clenched, lips parted in a grimace as he posts up and down on my cock. There’s a slight easing as he slides up and a slow, grinding squeeze as he slides down. “How the hell did you go and get hotter?How?You were already so fucking hot. Nearly lost my mind when I saw you in the store… Didn’t know if I wanted to kiss you. Or kill you. Wanted to kill you…wanted to kiss you… Couldn’t tell which… Just knew Iwantedyou.”
He rolls his hips in a way that makes us both moan and leans down to kiss me. I card my fingers through his hair, holding on, keeping his face close to mine, stamping this moment into a memory I’ll keep forever.
It’s the kind of sex that stops and starts, changing from slow to furious and circles back to two bodies moving together leisurely again. It’s making love, not fucking. Being close to each other, not orgasm, the only goal.
Eventually, when we’ve spent every drop we have on each other, he lays his head on my chest and doesn’t move until I soften and slip out of him.
The big, shiny white elephant stands in the corner of the room, stamping its foot and growing larger and louder as the minutes tick by.
Lexi’s voice and the collective experience of people far more sensible than I am whisper,“Men don’t leave their wives for their mistresses.”
Hours have passed.
It’s late in the day.
Somehow, we’ve managed to spend most of the day curled up in each other. Upstairs, I hear Ian and the team packing up and getting ready to leave. Romeo dresses quietly, each garment putting more and more space between us.
I put my shorts on, and Romeo looks away as I tie the drawstring. When we’re both dressed, we sit on the sofa and face the TV.
“Do you love her?” I ask, unintentionally borrowing someone else’s voice.
He’s quiet for several seconds, and though I’m not looking at him, I hear his jaw click twice before he answers.
“I do love her,” he says eventually, and my heart drops so hard I’m not sure I’ll recover. “But not the way a man should love his wife.” Air fills the void in my lungs, but it’s shallow and shaky. “I thought I would. At times, I even thought I did. I was fucked up and infatuated withher when we met. I’m not going to deny that. I mean fuck, she’s impressive. I couldn’t believe a woman like her would want a guy like me. I thought I’d get over you and my feelings for her would grow into love. I swear I did. I wouldn’t have married her if I didn’t. I’m an asshole, but I’m not that kind of asshole. It’s important to me that you know that.”
“I do know that,” I say quietly. As much as what he’s said is a relief, I need to know more.Pick, pick, pick.Rip, rip, rip. “Does she love you?”
He’s thoughtful as he mulls the question over. “I mean, yeah, I’d say she loves me as much as it’s possible to love someone you don’t really like. Someone you don’t know. She’s going to be pissed and hurt, Jude, I know that. Divorce isn’t in her five-year plan, but she won’t be surprised, not really. She knows I’m not happy, and while she’ll never admit it, I know she isn’t happy either. I irritate the shit out of her. She belongs with someone strong and ambitious. Someone who knows where their car keys are and who’s absolutely positive what day of the week it is. Someone who’ll fight with her because they care enough to, you know? We’ve talked about separating in the past, and recently, it’s been coming up more. I sleep in my old room more often than in the main bedroom with her. It upset her at first, but recently, I’ve started to think she prefersit. I’m not saying you aren’t a big factor in my decision to leave. You are. Of course you are, but you’re not the only one.”
After Ian calls out to let me know he’s leaving, Romeo and I head upstairs. It’s late afternoon, not yet evening, but the light is already changing. Bright, glaring rays have grown muted and long. Romeo checks his pockets. He has his keys but not his phone. He’s about to head down to the basement to look for it when I pull it out of my pocket and hand it to him.
“You left it on the side table,” I say.
He takes it, shakes his head at himself, and then nods his thanks.
The air between us exists in a vacuum now. Tight and compressed. Under pressure. He turns to leave, and seeing the back of him, his graceful lope and unruly hair, might be the most terrifying sight I’ve ever seen. More terrifying than watching him walk over to Selby that first time. More terrifying than seeing him wait at the altar for her, and even more terrifying than seeing him in my rearview mirror when I drove away from him after the wedding.
I feel the same now as I did then. Frozen. Paralyzed. Rooted to the spot and completely unable to move.
No.
Not this time.
Not again.
This time has to be different.
This time, I see him go, and I find my voice. It’s a voice that’s broken and cracking, but it’s mine.
“Romeo!”He turns, brows raised in the start of a smile or a question, I’m not sure which. “Come back to me,” I plead, fully aware of how pathetic I sound. “I can’t live without you, soplease, come back to me.”
He’s back in my doorway in four long strides, and I’m in his arms. He holds me so tightly my rib cage is forced to adjust. When my breathing slows, he brushes my hair back off my face and says, “When I get there, I’m going to shower and pack some clothes, okay? I’m going to tidy up my notes and get Tiger ready, and when Selby gets home, I'll tell her I’m leaving. I don’t know how long it will take. She might kick my ass out in under ten minutes, or it could take a while. I’m going to give her as much time as she needs ’cause I owe her that much, at least.” I sniff and nod. “But the second we’re done, the second I leave that house, I’m going to message you to let you know I’m coming home.”
“Home?” I squeak as my vision goes blurry.
He kisses me lightly on the cheek and then on the forehead, cradling my head in his arms as I let myself lean on him. “Yeah, home.”
This time, when he goes, I let him. I watch him walk until the silvery figure of him disappears into the Dark Forest.
