“Yeah, I ordered a triple shot of shaken espresso with oat milk and a pump of salted caramel syrup yesterday,and I got it. Couldn’t believe it. Didn’t even have to repeat my order.”
“Unbelievable. Never thought I’d see the day. People must have been up in arms about Mo’s closing.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard it wasn’t pretty.”
“Have you seen any of the usual crowd yet?” By usual crowd, she means Romeo.
I side-step the question. “Nah, Dan’s been away and Ollie’s on a deadline this week. He’s having a barbeque at his place on Saturday. He’s invited everyone who still lives here, so it should be a good night.”
“That’ll be nice. It’ll be good for you to have a chance to catch up with the old crowd.” I nod wordlessly. I’m very much on the fence about whether I think anything about my being in Alabaster is a good thing or not. A big part of me thinks the best thing that could happen would be to go back in time and refuse to come back here at all. I should have flown to Florida and insisted I be the one to take care of my gran. It’s not like I’m really doing much at the house anyway. All I’ve done so far is get in the way and sneeze my ass off. “Where did you end up staying? Mom said there was no way you could stay in the house with the mess and all that.”
I breathe out carefully, psyching myself up the way I always have to when I say his name. “I’m at Romeo’s.”
Lexi lets out a long, low whistle. She left her job and moved to New York to take care of me after Romeo married Selby. She’s the only person who saw what it did to me. The only one who knows what happened and knows and loves Romeo too. The only one who understands who andwhat he is to me. She picked up the pieces after he broke me, and ever since then, she’s done everything in her power to keep me together.
“Jesus, Jude. How’s that going?”
“Oh, you know. Paddling down an alligator-infested river would be more fun. Being trapped in a pit filled with vipers and black widow spiders would be a hell of a lot nicer. Being buried alive with ‘Baby Shark’ playing on repeat would be a comparative luxury weekend retreat.”
“That bad, huh?” She chuckles.
“No, you’re not paying attention, Lex. It’s worse. Way worse.”
“So nothing’s changed then?” Scant hope fades and is replaced with concern.
“Well, every surface in the house has been painted white, Mike’s in Fairview with Mary, and Romeo is a stranger to me.” That’s factually true. Except for the times his eyes have blazed and he’s looked through me, and I haven’t been able to tell if I’m here now or then, but I don’t think Lexi will sleep well if she knows all that. “And Selby is always around.”
“Oof. How’s she?”
“Not too bad, I guess.” I mean, not too bad if you take away the fact I hate her more than I’ve ever hated anyone or anything.
“Huh.” There’s a pause, a little lull that suggests Lexi is thinking about whether or not to say more.
I know her too well to let her get away with that. “What?”
There’s a silent hesitation, then, “Mom doesn’t like her.”
Now that’s news to me. My mom has always been the type to like everyone. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, she calls it.
“No? Why not?” I’m not sure why, but something flighty, something fickle, something that feels an awful lot like wildly misplaced hope trots and turns into a canter in my chest.
“Ugh, I shouldn’t have said anything. Sorry. I’ve been trying not to. I know how hard you’ve tried to move on.”
“Why doesn’t Mom like her, Lex?”
“I dunno. She told me she was kind of an asshole. She said it after Romeo and her took their road trip to Pensacola Beach a few months ago. They stopped in and spent a few nights with Mom and Dad. I’m not sure if she told you about it or not.”
I know about the trip. My mom slipped up and mentioned she was getting the spare room ready and making a chicken pot pie for dinner because it’s Romeo’s favorite. I lay awake for two nights in a row, fantasizing about flyingdown to Florida and forcibly throwing him out of my house. I lay awake for weeks afterward, fantasizing about flying down and doing something entirely different to him. “There’s no way Mom said asshole.”
“She did. Her exact words were, ‘That Selby’s one hell of an asshole.’” I laugh out loud in shock and jubilation as my heart swells. I’ve always loved my mom. She’s one of my favorite people. We’ve always had a good relationship, but I can categorically say I have never loved her more than I do right now.
“She said she didn’t like the way she treated Romeo. Something about talking over him or for him, I can’t remember which. She said she’s one of those women that high school mean girls turn into.” Lexi, on the other hand, is one of those people who’s all kinds of cagey, but once she starts talking, has the tendency to word vomit. There’s another slight pause. A tentativeness that makes her speak softer. “She said Romeo seems unhappy.”
I head to the kitchen after I finish the call with Lexi, brain buzzing so loudly it feels set to explode. It’s Friday. I’ve been at Casa de Blanc for four days and nights. Between the three of us, we seem to have achieved something resembling balance. Selby leaves for work early and usually gets home late. She’s a lawyer and thus very busy and, by her own assertion, important, and not one to miss theopportunity to remind everyone of that. School’s out, so Romeo is home every day. He gardens fervently, taking breaks only to eat and throw himself into the pool when the heat gets unbearable. I beat a path from his house to my house so I can be “on-site,” which, according to Selby, is a matter of life and death and absolutely critical to the project’s success. Once there, I take a few photographs and send them to our family WhatsApp group chat, ask stupid questions, get underfoot, start coughing and spluttering from the dust, and then head back to Romeo’s house, a little more defeated each day.
It’s not what I’d call poetic, but there’s a certain rhythm to it all the same.
When I get back to Romeo’s, we shuffle around and try not to say anything inflammatory to each other.
