Slowly,I think.Slowly, slowly. He’s a virgin. Everything we’re doing is new for him.
“Don’t rush it,” I say, pulling my T-shirt off over my head. His eyes track down my body, stuttering and coming to a stop at my chest. “Take your time.”
He runs his hands up my sides, palms down flat. He’s transfixed, tongue darting out to moisten his lips as he moves his hands towards my pecs. His touch is light and controlled now. He uses his thumbs to flick my nipples, forcing me to take a sharp intake of breath. He takes his time, tracing circles around my nipples and worrying my piercings until I find it hard to stay still.
By the time he moves his focus downward, he’s in the zone. This time he licks my crown, making me wet before he takes me into his mouth again. “Use your lips to cover your teeth." He does and the next time he swallows me, it feels way better than it did before. “You can suck, but not too hard. Just suck like you’d suck your thumb, you know?” He nods and starts bobbing up and down.
“It’s harder than it looks,” he says, smiling sheepishly, when he comes up for air.
He has that familiar sheen of hope in his eyes. When I look at him I feel like I’m drowning. All I can see is blue. Soft, steady blue that sparks and hopes and promises in a way that makes me feel twisted. It cracks something open in me.
It makes me stroke his face and say, “It feels good, Blue.”
“You like it?” he smiles a little bigger than could ever be considered cool.
“Yeah, I like it.” I’m not lying. He’s learning, but he’s learning fast. He takes me back into his mouth and murmurs softly around me when he hears my words. He likes it. He likes hearing my voice. “You’re making me feel so fucking good.” He starts stroking me at the same time he’s swallowing me. My abs clench and I groan in pleasure. I reach out and stroke his hair out of his face. I do it over and over. I want to touch him. I can’t wait to touch him. I want my hands all over his body. I use both hands, stroking his face, holding his head gently in my hands. “You look so fucking hot with my cock in your mouth.”
He moans in response. He pulls back and looks up at me, then rubs his cheek against my shaft, first one side of his face then the other. “Oh, fuck,” he whispers. “I love your dick.” He has me in his hand and can’t seem to drag his eyes off me. “It feelssogood.”
I don’t know much, and I’d consider myself lucky if a single synapse is firing right now, but I do know that no-one has ever looked at my dick the way he’s looking at it right now; like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
The next time he swallows me, he takes more than before, he holds me tighter in his hand too. It starts feeling seriously, dangerously good. I feel myself slipping. It feels like it’s happening slowly, but it’s still happening too fast for me to stop it. I get up onto my feet and that changes the angle.Fuck. That makes it feel even better. It’s toe curling, fist clenchingly good now.
The soft, wet warmth of him awakens the worst in me. I have his head in my hands. My fingers are knotted in his hair. He’s moaning loudly every time he sinks down on me. I’m close. My hands hold his skull like a vise. I arch back involuntarily and start rocking my hips. Hard. I do it hard, grunting and groaning as I do. I lose reason. And I lose caution. The only thing that exists is his throat and my dick. I don’t know how long I lose myself like that for, but the second I realize what I’m doing I stop and pull out. I’m shocked by what I’ve done. This is Luke and it’s his first time having a dick in his mouth. The last thing on Earth he needs is a skull fucking.
I tilt his head back, so I can see his face and assess the damage. My guts constrict. I’m scared. I fully expect to see a full complement of fear, regret, and large, watery blue eyes.
I feel sick.
Damnit! This is why I told myself to stay the fuck away from him.
He meets my eye. Instead of fear or regret, I see nothing but a picture of lust etched into his features. Dark shadows drawn under his eyes, pupils black, and excessively large. Mouth open and gaping. Breathing hard and uneven as saliva catches the light and glistens on his chin.
Seeing him like that is all it takes, my orgasm rushes out of me without notice. I cry out in shock and a desperate attempt to give him some warning. He doesn’t need it. He doesn’t skip a beat. He closes his eyes and opens his mouth. I come so hard and so long, I feel like blacking out is a real possibility. I’m doubled over, hanging onto his shoulders for balance by the time I come back to myself.
He's unbuckling his belt and opening his fly. I’m far from well-coordinated right now, so I push him back roughly, all but tackling him onto the floor. I grab what’s his and I make it mine. I consume it. I take everything I can, every wave, every pulse, every spurt, every moan. I take it all and swallow it down the way he swallowed mine.
15
Luke
IfeellikeI’mfloating. Not only when he touches me, I feel like I’m floating when I’m in the same room as him, when I can see him or hear him. As long as he’s close, my footing feels unsteady, and my insides feel like they’re trembling. It’s been almost a week since things started happening between us again and instead of getting milder, the feeling keeps getting stronger.
I’ve never been more grateful for anything in life than I am for the fact our parents put us in the guest house together, and that they both have full-time jobs. Jeez, having them around all this past weekend nearly killed me. My mom wanted us all to go to a farmers’ market on Sunday. Usually I love that kind of thing. Not this time. I narrowly survived the ordeal, and when she insisted we take the bikes for a ride on the China Rock – Fan Shell beach loop, I almost had a sense of humor failure. Jessie being Jessie, took one look at my face and said, “That sounds like a great idea, Rachel,” and then spent the entire ride pedaling behind me, boring his eyes into me with so much heat, I almost crashed twice. I took my T-shirt off when we stopped to take in the view and after that, he quieted down considerably.
It's weird when you’ve waited for something for so long and it finally happens. In a way, I thought I’d be disappointed because I was pretty sure there’s no way getting physical with someone could feel as good as I’d built it up in my mind to feel. I was wrong. With Jessie it feels even better than I imagined. And I don’t just mean getting my hands in his pants, or having his in mine. Even though that’s unreal, the things I like even more are the little looks he gives me when others are around, and we can’t touch each other. His face changes from sullen and broody, to pure mischief, blue-green lights up and takes flight. It happens quickly, so no-one else notices.
Yesterday we were sitting at the kitchen island eating breakfast. My mom was there, she was washing up at the sink, so she had her back turned to me. Jessie got up to get another cup of coffee. As he walked back to his seat, he got that look in his eye. That crazy, wild glint that told me he was feeling just as unhinged as I feel when I’m close to him. He walked over to me, coffee in one hand, and took the hair on the back of my head in the other. He tugged it so sharply it was all I could do not to cry out in shock. He glanced over at my mom and when he deemed the coast clear, he leant down and kissed me. Hard. With tongue. He forced his tongue so deep into my mouth it left me panting. It was over in less than two seconds but afterwards I was so turned on I could barely remember how to feed myself.
“Are you for real?” I mouthed to him when he sat down.
“Sorry. Lost my concentration,” he mouthed back, with a careless shrug and a filthy smile.
We lost several hours when my mom finally left for work. We lost more hours last night. He came to my room like he does every night. He took care of me, and I took care of him. It was so good that afterwards I couldn’t move.
When both of us were spent he did what he always does. He seemed to sober up and get awkward and uncomfortable with what just happened between us. His eyes grew hard. I could almost see the armor come down as he tried to put distance between us. When he gets like that, he pulls away from me physically, almost recoiling when I try to touch him. He says nonsense like, “I’ll let you get some sleep,” and then he bolts out of my room.
I’m left lying in the dark, feeling exhausted and weak, wondering if it was something I did. Or if it’s because I’m a guy and from what I can tell he’s mainly been with girls in the past. Or if it’s because our parents are married and we’re stepbrothers, and no matter how you look at it, that’s far from ideal. Or if it’s because he doesn’t like me the way I like him.
