I don’t need to tell him twice, he takes off with vigor, molesting himself with long, firm strokes that make his forearm flex hard. I’d like to tell him to slow down, but I’m so turned on it’s taking all my focus not to whip my own dick out and use it to roughly replace the plug that’s inside him. I’m not a hundred percent sure what’s going on here right now, or how I got myself into this situation, but I have a feeling that would be a very bad idea, so I focus all my attention on watching.
I allow myself to lean forward and rest my chin on his shoulder. I inhale as I do it. Sea salt and fresh air. I tilt my head, trailing my nose along his neck, wracking my brain, trying to identify the scent that eludes me. I place my lips on his neck and drag them up and down once. I do it again. The second time I do it, I lick him from the base of his neck to the shell of his ear, trying to use taste where my sense of smell fails me. As I do it, I reach down and take hold of the butt plug’s flared base, I pull on it, starting a gentle game of tug-of-war between his muscle and me.
He leans back into the hand I still have on his neck. I press my fingers into the taut sinews I find there and inhale again. This time it hits me.
I know that smell.
Sea salt, fresh air,and something I want.
11
Jessie
I’monmyhandsand knees on the floor next to my bed. I’m mopping Luke’s semen off the floor with a bunched up handful of tissues. I’m reeling. My dick is so engorged that if I cough right now, I’ll probably blow my load. My thought waves are limping along, ungainly and wildly unintelligent, struggling to make sense of what just happened.
I’m stunned. I can’t believe he walked in here, started throwing sex toys around and then presented his ass like that. I can’t remember a time when anything has shocked me more. And to think I thought I was the one in control of the little game we’ve been playing.
As shocking as all that was, it didn’t come close to being as shocking as what happened next. He came, groaning and trembling as he splashed on the floor. He used rough, vicious strokes, hard enough to make his arm shake, to extend his peak. When it was over, he pulled up his pants and stepped over the puddle he made on the floor.
“Sorry about the mess,” he said.
The only thing more notable than the incredible nerve of him, was the total lack of sincerity in his apology. He walked out of my room with the toy still lodged in his ass. Back straight, head held high. He didn’t pause and he didn’t look back.
I’ll admit to three showers today and that’s about it. I haven’t been able to think straight. I’m not sure how I pass most of the day, though I do know that at one point I feel the cool skin on the back of Rachel’s hand against my forehead and she says, “Hope you’re not coming down with whatever Lu’s had.”
I’m not sure if I answer or not.
I go to bed early because I can’t stand the tension. Or the anticipation. It’s been so bad, I’m almost considering taking Luke up on his offer over coffee this morning, “Wanna talk about it?”
If you know me at all, you’d know that’s very unlike me. I hate talking about this kind of thing. I don’t know what to say. None of my options are great.
I want you, but I don’t want to be with you because I know my mom will hate me for it and I highly doubt my dad will be crazy about the idea either?
He’s still in the living room watching TV. I’ve tried calling my mom, she must be out, and I’ve tried three books in my TBR but I can’t get into any of them.
I want you, but I don’t want you to want me because I’ll be bad for you. I’ll hurt. I’ll trash your feelings at some point in the not-so-distant future and then we’ll have to keep seeing each other for the rest of our lives because guess what…we’re family, or something.
The bathroom door closes, and I hear the shower start running.Oh fuck.He’s probably undressing right now. He’s probably dragging his shorts over the perfect mounds of his ass and dropping them on the bathroom floor.
I want you, but other than a couple of drunken blowies and hand jobs, I’ve never been with a guy. I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m a ruthless fucker at the best of times. I’m the last person on Earth you want to have teaching you this stuff.
Soft steps pad past my door. I let out the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. I’ve seen him make the journey before. He wraps a white towel around his waist, tucking it in over his left hip bone. He doesn’t dry himself properly. He never does. There are always droplets of water glistening all the way down his spine.
I want you, but…
My heart starts to pound as he settles in for the night. I realize I’ve spent every waking moment today waiting for this. I lie back on my bed and listen to his movements. I close my eyes because it feels like I’m able to hear more that way. In my mind’s eye, I see him naked. I’ve seen his legs and chest in the pool and the ocean and I’ve seen the back of him, too. My mind fills in the blanks for the rest. I’m erect from the thought of it. I’m so hard, I have to rub the heel of my hand against my shaft to stop my erection from becoming unbearable. The worst of it is that the thought of him naked isn’t what makes me so hard. It’s the thought of his face, open and smiling, as we ate our lunch together despite the uncertainty in his eyes. It’s the way he raised his hand to cover a smile when Rachel felt my forehead. When the smile faded, he dragged his hand absently across his lips and his forefinger lingered on his full, fleshy bottom lip, tugging it down slightly so I could see the pink wetness inside. He gave me this strange, knowing look. I couldn’t tell if I liked it or not, but my dick sure as shit did.
I lie and wait for him to start jerking off until it feels like I’ve been waiting for days. Time lags until it feels like I’ve been waiting all my life.
“Luke,” I mouth, stopping short of allowing any sound from escaping, but only just.
I want you.
“Luke,” I say again, before I can stop myself. That time I do use my voice. It’s dry and desperate, it sounds the way he sounds when he says my name through the wall.
He doesn’t answer.
My guts clench with longing. He’s on his bed. I’m on mine. We’re less than a couple of feet apart, but it feels like miles. For the first time, the distance between us feels intolerable to me. It ignites the same feeling as yesterday.
