“Then I’m nothing but happy for them. And I’m nothing but sad for us that we lost them over something so dumb.”
“What do you think about having kids though? Obviously, two guys can’t have kids.”
“There are lots of different ways to have kids. But even if there weren’t . . .” I paused dramatically. I knew what I was about to say was going to blow Jules’s mind and shock him to his core. “. . . who the hell wants kids anyway?”
“WHAT?”
“You heard me.” I chuckled. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I fully accept that I’m going to spend most of my adult life trying to get a shifter gal pregnant, but let’s just say, I won’t be even a little disappointed when it doesn’t work.”
Jules gawked at me, mouth and eyes perfectly round. “But, but what about the future of the pack?”
“I guess I always just figured procreation was on you.”
“Oh, fuck you very much, Sully Cleary.”
I smiled and tapped my foot softly against his. “Don’t want them either, huh?”
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re cute as hell,” he said, laughing, “but God, they’re a pain in the ass.”
We both lay back on the dewy grass with our hands tucked under our heads and looked up at the moon peeking through the sloping branches of the willow tree. For the first time that whole summer, I felt content. I had Jules at my side, the earth under my back, and my whole life ahead of me.
When it was late and we were sure the pack was running deep in the forest, we made our way home, picking our steps carefully in the dim light of the moon.
“Hey, big boy,” Jules said, cocking his head to the side and giving me a lopsided grin. “I bet I’m still faster than you.”
He was. He took off up the hill and I couldn’t get close to him. I lost him completely. I was standing on my own in the dark at the top of the hill, searching the bushes for his silhouette, looking around with no idea where he was. He came out of nowhere, growling and snarling like a rabid dog, and tackled me down to the ground. I laughed helplessly as I fell. I struggled and wrestled against him, giggling like I always did when he got hold of my wrists and pinned me down. It was nothing new. It was something that had happened more times than I could count. It was just that that time, for the first time, I let him win.
4
Aswewalkedtoschool on the first day of the year, I pumped Jules for more information on the Cedar Key pack. I was obsessed with understanding the differences between our pack and theirs. Jules had only been back for a few days, but we were already at the stage where he was having to re-tell me some of the details.
“So, how old did you say they are when they first shift?” I asked.
“I told you, they’re like seventeen or eighteen.”
That blew my mind. In our pack we were at least twenty before we shifted for the first time. “God, that’s our age. Can you imagine if that was us? We’d be fixing to shift any day now. Can you imagine? Imagine wolfing out in the middle of math class? How do they handle that?”
“I asked Auggie about that. He said it isn’t a problem. They teach their kids about shifting as soon as they can talk, and apparently that makes it easier for them to control it.”
That gave me pause. I was curious by nature. Being in a pack that relished mystery had always been hard for me to swallow, but as I got older, it was getting harder and harder. “What do you think? Which way is better?”
“I don’t know. I mean, obviously, it would be nice to know. It sucks to know that we’re part of something so awesome, and that we have something so big coming our way, yet we have no idea what it will be like. At the same time, Dalton’s right. I mean, when isn’t he? It really is the biggest and best surprise of our lives and why would we want to ruin that?”
As we walked through the gates to Clearwater High, my focus shifted. I’d had all summer to think about things, and at least in this instance, I saw my path clearly. I was right last year when I thought that being at school for a year without Jules would be hell. If that summer had taught me anything, it was that being places without Jules wasn’t for me.
I booked an appointment with the principal, Mr. Ramirez, and the school guidance counselor. I asked to take a standardized IQ test and any aptitude tests the counselor wanted to throw my way. For the first time in my life, I took the test seriously. I didn’t change my answers to make sure I got some questions wrong. I aced it. I aced it so hard, they made me retake the tests, because they thought the first results couldn’t be right. When the scores for the second test came in higher, they both sat there stunned, staring at me.
“Well, I, er, I don’t understand, Sullivan. Your scores for every other year have been dead on the average curve,” said Mr. Ramirez.
“What can I tell you, sir? I’ve decided to apply myself.” I shrugged.
“What’s made you decide to apply yourself now, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I don’t mind at all. It’s quite simple. I’ve just come to realize that junior year is a waste of my time, and I don’t want to do it.”
“So you’re proposing we move you to senior year?” He looked at me as if I was exceptional, but crazy.
I nodded slowly. “That’s exactly what I’m proposing.”
