He started laughing from low down in his belly. I felt it rumbling through our bond. It felt good. I felt like I could breathe again. The tension in my head started to release.
“Hey, big boy,” he said, “just for the record, I agreed to stay close. I didn’t agree to pander to batshit crazy.”
I did my best to dial down my crazy, and Jules was as good as his word. He stayed close to me. The day was charged with furtive looks and stolen glances. We were mainly comfortable around each other, but there were parts of us that weren’t. We puttered around the cabin all day. I got the toolbox my dad kept under the seat of the GMC out, and we set about trying to repair the front door. Having a shared task felt good. It always felt good to work toward something with Jules. This was no different, but a couple of times, we reached for a nail or a screw at the same time as the other and we either moved our hands away a little too fast, or we leaned into each other a little too hard. We were being awkward around each other, there was no doubt about it.
My stress levels began to climb. Maybe I shouldn’t have bitten him. It was his first heat. He had no idea how to manage it. Neither of us did. Maybe we should have waited. Maybe we should have taken our time. Maybe he said it in the heat of the moment and now he regretted it. I wouldn’t blame him. It was a huge, huge commitment.
By the time the door was back on its hinges, my belly was a tight ball of stress and Jules had a big, fake smile plastered all over his face.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Sure,” I replied a little too quickly.
“’Cause if you’re not, we should probably talk about it.”
“I guess I’m just worried. It’s a lot. This whole thing is a lot. I know you were in heat and you weren’t yourself.”
“I knew what I was doing.” His voice was so certain it made me set my tools down and lean close to him.
“Did you mean it when you said you loved me?” I whispered. “’Cause it’s okay if you didn’t. It’s okay if it was the heat. You can tell me. We can work through it.”
“Sully,” he said, taking the side of my face in his hand and pulling it toward him sharply. “I don’t just love you. I wake up in the morning so I can see you. I eat and drink so I have the fuel I need to run beside you. I go to sleep at night so the next day will come sooner, and I can see you again. I don’t just love you. I live for you.”
“Holy shit.” I jumped to my feet and pulled him up to his. “I feel the same way. I feelexactlythe same.” I threw my arms around him and lifted him off his feet. I was making a silly, high-pitched sound, but I didn’t mind.
“I can’t believe it,” he cried happily. “Can you believe it? What an amazing coincidence?”
I started to laugh.
A coincidence?
No.
I suddenly saw things clearly. It was no coincidence. Far from it. It had always been Jules and me. Always. It had always been me and Jules over here, and all other people over there. That’s how it always was. That’s how it would always be. Of course he was mine. And of course I was his. We were mates. We’d been mates since before I could remember.
Best mates.
Fated mates.
Soulmates.
“It’s only ever been you for me, Jules. Only you. You’re the first man I’ve ever loved.”
One eyebrow shot up and the other was drawn down low. A devilish grin spread all over his face. “I might be your first, but I’m also your last.”
There was no way I could argue. “Yeah, you are, Jules. You’re the firstandthe last.”
We spent the next few days close to each other. Very close. As close as two people can get. We spent hours in bed. We sucked and stroked and fucked until the bond between us changed from feeling abstract to real. Something with a life of its own. When we closed our eyes, we were both sure we could see it. In the beginning it seemed to reflect light like a prism—red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. At first, the colors were soft, opaque pastels. As the days wore on, they gained clarity and saturation. Jules and I both felt the colors reflected our feelings and moods. It flashed yellow, orange, and green when we ran as wolves. Yellow for happiness. Orange for energy. Green for nature and new beginnings. Blue when we were spent and felt totally calm. And red, well, most of the time, the bond glowed red. Red for passion, red for lust, and, most of all, red for love.
We stayed in bed for hours each day and at night we ran shoulder to shoulder through the forest. We ran past the river and up the hill to the highest peak. We scrambled up the rocks until we got to the very top. When we did, we raised our heads and told the moon that we’d mated. The moon is a mysterious mistress. She always has been. Still, Jules and I were both certain she shone her light on us and smiled as she imbued our union with magick.
20
Onthefifthdayafter we mated, I woke up with a start. I shot up in bed and said, “We have to go home. Now. Today. We have to go home.”
I said it before I’d woken up properly. I didn’t know how or why, but I could feel it. We had to go back.
“Ugh,” Jules sighed softly. “Do we have to? I don’t want to. Let’s stay in bed.”
