“Good night, Dare.” I step into the cold night, testing my self-control to avoid looking back at him. In my car, I sit in thequiet for a moment before driving off. In my rearview, I see him standing at the top of his steps, watching me go.
“What areyou buying Harlan for Christmas?” Julian has been asking me this for the last two weeks. He called me the day after Friendsgiving and told me I need to make it epic. I still have no idea what constitutes an “epic gift” in Jules’s eyes, but I’m open to suggestions. We’re on our way to do Christmas shopping and grab a bite to eat with AJ. It’s become our annual tradition that I flat-out refused to participate in last year.
“I still don’t have a clue, bro. I’m all ears if you have an idea. I’m not even sure what an appropriate gift is. He’s not my boyfriend, so I’m at a loss.” I shrug, hopelessly. Harlan may not be my boyfriend, but we’ve gone running most mornings since Friendsgiving, and we text regularly. Getting to know him—to knowus—as friends, has been a lot easier to navigate than I expected, except for when I almost kissed him on Friendsgiving. He hasn’t mentioned it, so I’ve let it go.
“He’s basically your boyfriend. Don’t be ridiculous,” AJ chimes in from the back seat, and Julian quickly tacks onhis agreement. These two are insufferable together. They’re a package deal, so I’ve learned to manage.
“We’re friends,” I argue. “We’re just getting to know each other again. I don’t know if either of us is ready for a relationship.” That doesn’t feel exactly true, but I’m not ready to work through that with the guys, especially before I even know where Harlan stands on us.
“Cool, so you wouldn’t mind if I asked him out?” I jerk the wheel as I shoot daggers at AJ in the rearview. “I mean, if you’re just friends, no harm.”
“I’ll fucking kill you,” I snarl. I know he’s fucking with me, and maybe my reaction is a bit excessive. Harlan is mine.
“So, he’s your boyfriend. Got it. Bet he’d be upset if you wrapped your truck around a tree, so keep your eyes on the road, killer.” Julian is cackling next to me during the whole interaction, so I flip them both off as I take the exit ramp toward the mall.
“Maybe you should take him on a trip. You both love Cartagena. Take him before spring training starts,” Julian suggests.
“That would be a wonderful idea. If he were my boyfriend. Which he’s not.” Navigating into the parking lot, I almost consider leaving immediately. I didn’t think this many people still shopped in person, but the lots all look full, so fuck me, I guess. “Why don’t we shop online?”
“Tradition!” Jules loves crowds and chaos, so his excitement comes as no surprise. “It’s always easier when you can see things in person. I don’t understand why people do so much shopping online. I like to touch things.”
“Because you’re like a toddler,” AJ laughs. “Itistradition, though, so let’s get excited.” After checking multiple lots, I finally find a spot at one of the anchor stores and snag it before someone else does. Driving in Manhattan is a nightmare, butthere’s nothing more nerve-wracking than trying to park at the mall right before Christmas.
Three hours later, we are loading the trunk with dozens of bags. Several years have been shaved off my life, but my shopping is done. I used one of those gift-wrap stations, so I don’t even have to worry about that. That’s great news, since wrapping is truly the bane of my existence. I ended up buying Harlan several perfumes and a pair of fuzzy slippers. A perfectly friendly gift. For my friend.
We went a bit overboard in the toy store for the toy drive at the local children’s hospital. Every year, the team delivers toys to kids who are in the hospital for the holidays. It’s probably one of my favorite parts of Christmas. I’ve considered asking Harlan to join us next weekend, since I won’t see him on Christmas Day.
On the drive home, AJ and Julian bicker incessantly about whether white lights or colored lights are superior on a Christmas tree. AJ is firmly in the white lights camp, and Julian is trying desperately to plead his case to his best friend. Finally, I’m asked to chime in. “I’m with AJ, but the good news is, you two don’t live together, so you can each decorate your own tree,” I reason.
“That’s not the actual point. The point is colored lights are more festive, and therefore the only correct choice when decorating a Christmas tree,” Julian argues.
“Harlan would disagree with you, and he is a tree decorating pro,” I remind him. Everything about our tree was always carefully curated—the colors of the ornaments, their placement on the tree, the tree topper. He’d place it in front of the baywindow so that it could be seen from the street at night when it was all lit up. “Would you tell Harlan that he isn’t festive?”
“I would never,” Julian gasps. “Harlan is the best decorator on the planet. Speaking of, are you going to invite him to the hospital this year?”
“I think I will,” I offer noncommittally. I refuse to admit that I’ve been considering this for weeks at this point. No need to seem overeager.
Back at the house, the guys help bring all of the bags inside before they head for their vehicles, leaving me in much-needed silence. I love my friends, and I love our traditions, but I’m all peopled-out after that experience. Once I’ve stashed my gifts in the living room, I take Craig for a walk. While he sniffs along the sidewalk, I unlock my phone to send Harlan a text.
Me
Hey you
Harlan
Hey yourself. How did shopping go with AJ and Julian?
Me
It was a shit show haha. So busy, but we’re all done shopping. They argued the whole way home about Christmas lights. It’s a good thing they don’t live together.
Harlan
Haha you’re lucky you’re done. I haven’t even started. Everyone knows white lights are the only correct answer.
Me
Slacker. AJ agrees with you. Hey, Saturday we’re doing the team thing at the children’s hospital. If you’re not busy, would you like to come?
