I scroll through more of his posts and smile at pictures of him and Penelope exploring London together. Farther down, there’s a post with pictures of Harlan and the guy from San Francisco. The caption sends pangs through my chest. “So grateful for this wonderful man. Our time together is never long enough. Thank you for visiting, babe!” He tagged @oliver.knight. I can’t deny that he looks smitten with Harlan, though. Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I open the comments.
@oliver.knight - Saying goodbye to you sucks, baby. I’ll be back soon enough. Xo
@lucky_penny - Maybe next time you two can stay in a hotel ;)
@seascorpions4ever - You’re not with Darío Molina anymore?
@carlyreadsbooks - We’ll ship you with Darío forever!
I have to stop reading these comments. I never check comments on my own profile. I learned that early in my career, because people are brutal if you lose, and it used to get to me. I know Harlan used to spend a lot of time in his comments, but as the brand grew and his popularity soared, he started to stay away, for the most part. I wonder what he would think if he saw those. We were recognized frequently, so we were lucky the details of our breakup stayed out of the media.
“Darío Molina?” A nurse standing in the doorway takes my attention from Harlan’s social media. I nod, following her to the hall with exam rooms on one side, and a long nurse’s station on the other. “I’m Jenn, Dr. Herring’s nurse. We’ll be in Exam Room 7.”
“Motherfucker!” I slam the steering wheel with my good hand when I get in my car. I dial Travis on my Bluetooth because I need to calm down before I can drive anywhere. I knew I was going to get news I didn’t want to hear, but it doesn’t make it suck any less.
“Dare, what’s going on, bro?” It sounds like he’s in a wind tunnel, and I immediately regret bothering him with my complaining.
“Hey, if you’re busy you can call me later,” I say as I glare at my stupid, broken fucking hand.
“Nah, it’s all good. Just driving home from practice. What’s up?”
“I just got the new X-rays on my hand. It’s still not fucking healed, which pretty much guarantees that I won’t be playing again this season. They’re sending it over to another doctor tolook at the scans, but I may end up needing surgery.” I did everything I was fucking told to do, so this setback is hitting me hard.
Talking to Travis calms me down enough to start driving while we continue to catch up. We switch topics to the upcoming week, when his team will be in Brooklyn for a series. “I was thinking about staying a few extra days while I’m out there. Figured since you guys have a homestretch, we could spend a couple days hanging out,” he says.
“For sure, bro. You’re welcome to stay with me. The spare room is all yours,” I tell him. If Travis stays with me, it’ll force me to finally step foot in the bigger of the extra rooms. I wonder if the sheets still smell like Harlan, or if there’s something in there that he’s forgotten. I’d give anything to smell his strawberry shampoo again.
“I’ll take you up on that. Maybe we can go out and get you laid,” he suggests. “I’m guessing you haven’t seen anyone since you cut things off with Jasper?” Everyone saw the end as inevitable. I don’t know why I didn’t.
I slow to a stop sign a few blocks from my house and wave a woman with her dog through the crosswalk. “I don’t know about getting laid. Not really interested. I was thinking about getting a corgi, though. Have you seen those fuckers? Their legs are fucking cute.” It’s so fucking lonely in this big house. A dog is exactly the company I need.
“Darío, what the fuck would you do with a dog?” Travis barks a laugh, and I roll my eyes. It’s not like I’ve got much else going on. I can’t play baseball, and even if I could, it’s not like we’ll be making the playoffs this year.
I tell Travis it’s just a thought, and we agree to check in before he gets to New York to lock in plans. Parking is a bitch at this time of day, so I end up a few blocks past my house. When I’ve finally secured a parking spot, I unlock my phone and scrollto Harlan’s contact. I never deleted his messages, but I haven’t read them since he left, which is truly a feat worth celebrating. There were nights I sat in the hall leaning against the door of the spare room, scrolling through thousands of pictures and video clips, wishing he were home with me.
Before I can overthink it, I send him a text.
Me
Hey, I heard you’re coming back to Brooklyn. Congratulations, Harlan. I’m so happy for you. I bet you’re so relieved.
Typing bubbles pop up and stop for several minutes. He’s either typing a novel, or he’s considering telling me to leave him alone.
Harlan
News travels fast haha. Thank you! Yeah, the work visa was approved. .
Me
That’s really good, Lan. When do you get back?
Harlan
First week of September.
Me
If you need help with the move, let me know. I’m sure the guys would be happy to help, too. We’ll be home that whole week.
