My mouth opens and closes and I grit my teeth.
I don’t know what to say.
I barely even know how I’m feeling right now, let alone how to make my throat work.
My tongue feels like lead in my mouth. Immovable. Poisonous.
I curl into myself, my hands coming to my head again.
I can barely hear past the roar of my pulse pumping in my ears.
“You’re fucking forgetting to breathe,” Ash huffs, shoving something in front of my face.
The shock of it has me blinking at him.
It’s a pad of paper. And a pen.
“You remember how to write?” He asks.
Do I? I haven’t had the chance to do so much while locked away.
What if I’m as stupid as the guards used to say I was?
He pushes the pen and paper against my chest.
It falls to the floor when he lets go.
I stare at it. Afraid.
It’s silly. And stupid. Why the fuck am I afraid of something so small?
“Look,” Ash snaps, when he loses his patience with my lack of response. “This situation is fucked. I know you don’t remember anything other than that fucking hellhole, but you can’t lose your shit out here. We’ve gotta step up and protect and take care of Mirabelle. Got that?”
I crouch down slowly, picking up the pen. It’s small in my hand. But I press the tip to the paper notepad, resting it against my thigh. And then I write.
What if she doesn’t want us?
My handwriting is ugly. Shaky and messy. Barely legible.
But Ash still tries to read it.
He offers me a single nod before he sighs and runs his hands through his hair.
“I don’t think that’s something we have to worry about—“ Griffin starts saying, peering at my writing over Ash’s shoulder.
“You shut the fuck up, new guy. He means us,” Ash snaps, gesturing to him and I as he glares at Griffin. “Right?”
I nod.
Mirabelle chose Griffin. She chose Rowan. They have the marks to prove it. The bonds to prove it.
“I get it,” Ash sighs.He sits on the bed and rests his elbows on his knees.“Trust me, I do. But we’ve gotta trust what she’s been saying. That we’re a package deal. And the way we make her pick us too isn’t by losing our shit, tearing this place apart and getting the cops called on us, okay? That’s how we get Mirabelle fucking taken away from us forever.”
I nod. Not just once. Not just twice. Three times.
He makes a lot of sense.
It also feels nice. He knows how I’m feeling. I’m not crazy for it.
