“Really?”
“Yes, Sugar.” He lets out a soft huff of laughter under his breath. “I love you. I just can’t believe you love me too. And that you said it to me first, out of everyone else. If I were a betting man, I would’ve bet on you and Griffin saying it to each other first, ‘specially cause of the bond you’ve got.”
“I have a bond with you too, you know.”
“Yeah, but it’s not, you know, as strong as the one you and Griffin have.”
I think I’m starting to understand the feeling Griffin gets when I don’t listen to his seemingly logical advice. Even though he’s really nice about it, I can feel the thrum ofconfusion that flows through him when I just don’t understand something that he seems to think is so obvious.
Because I feel the same way talking to Rowan. Knowing the family he comes from, I can understand why it’s hard for Rowan to accept any form of love or affection, but sometimes, I feel like I’m standing there with my arms outstretched while he paces back and forth, muttering to himself about how I probably don’t want to hug him in the first place.
That hasn’t actually happened, but it’s what how I feel like in these situations.
“I know it’s easier said than done,” I say, squeezing his hand. “But you have to try to stop doing that. You doubt yourself and your place within the group so much that you start to doubt me and it... Doesn’t feel good, you know?”
He nods, biting the inside of his cheek as he soaks in my words.
“You’re right, Sugar. Thanks for calling me out on my bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit, it’s how your brain works. Just like how my brain works different, too. You and the other guys are always so nice to me when I need help. I just want to help you, too.”
“You’re helping me plenty,” he says, starting the golf cart back up.
“Does this mean I can say I love you now? Now that we’ve said it to each other?”
“I’d be careful saying it in front of the other guys unless you’re ready to tell them too. It’d probably piss Ash off and he’d get super territorial.”
“You’re right, I should say it to them too, later tonight.”
“You don’t need to feel pressured to do that if you’re not ready.”
There’s an emotion that’s really close to possessiveness that hums through the bond. I’ll have to try and make Rowan feelmore special, but withholding my love from the other three guys isn’t the way to go about it.
I don’t need to have an emotional bond connection to Ash and Rage to know their feelings are really big. And just because they’re loud and sometimes a little aggressive doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be taken care of, either.
“I’m ready, Rowan. I love all of you.”
“Yeah,” he says, his lip quirking up in a smile as he nods in understanding. “It’s why you just work. You’re a lot more conscious of the group dynamics than I’d imagine anyone else would be. You’re the best omega any of us could’ve wished for.”
Pride fills my chest and the smile on my face doesn’t leave my lips, not even as I get dressed in the revealing lingerie Jett bought me for the first fight night.
CHAPTER 38
Rowan
“Well, look who it is,” Jett sneers, leaning against the door of his car.
His face is mottled with bruises. They’re in the later stages of healing, so he’s more green and yellow than he is black and blue, but considering his alpha healing, the beating must’ve been pretty rough for him to still be healing.
I don’t feel bad.
Maybe one day I’ll be so far from this place that I’ll be able to look back on things and see that Jett was an asshole who controlled those weaker than him with violence because that was the only language he was taught.
But then again, he taught me the same shit and I’m not a crazy psychopath like he is.
Sure, I’ve definitely got my issues, but if Mirabelle’s faith in me has taught me anything, it’s that I have the potential to do better. Be better.
Mirabelle shifts nervously behind me, her strawberry perfume souring.
