I’m too far away to hear, but I swear I see Ash say something along the lines of “too slow,” to Griffin before tossing him the other knife.
A strangled cry leaves my throat when I see that moment of distraction leaving Ash wide open for the first bald alpha’s attack. Even though there’s blood dripping down his leg, he still manages to lunge forward, his fist smashing into Ash’s face.
My breaths come in short, quick, desperate pants as I soak in the pure unadulterated violence of the ring. Everything is so chaotic. I can barely see what’s going on. All I know is there’s blood being spilled onto the sand, and some of it comes frommyalphas.
I feel like I’m going to pass out.
“Fuck, Sugar, you good?” Rowan mutters, gripping my elbow as I wobble in the heels.
I’m so hypnotized and horrified by the sight of violence in front of me that I can’t even feel the pain from my throbbing toes anymore.
“I—I can’t look anymore,” I whisper, my voice breaking, right along with my heart as I hear Rage let out an angry roar of pain. “Please don’t make me look anymore.”
“Shit,” Rowan mutters. “You—you have to stay here, Sugar. ‘Cause you have to stay by me and I have to stay here and?—“
“Please!” I plead under my breath, tears clinging to my lower lashes. I can’t rip my gaze away. But Ineedto look away. My heartcan’t take the violence. I feel like I’m going to vomit right over the balcony railing and out onto the crowd.
“Okay, okay,” Rowan says, panicked. “I’m sorry, but this is the only way. Kneel next to me. You won’t be able to see over the railing.”
I fall to my knees instantly, my legs unable to hold my weight anymore.
Rowan lets out a soft noise of alarm at the back of his throat, but he doesn’t move to help me.
He can’t, without it seeming suspicious.
I shift my weight, settling into position with my knees on the cold concrete and my forehead pressed against the barrier as I fight to control my breathing.
It takes everything I have to keep from vomiting all over myself, because even though I can’t see the fight anymore, I can still hear everything going on. The roars of pain. The screams and cheers of the jeering crowd.
It’s impossible, given how noisy the room is, but I swear I can still hear the impacts of fist on flesh from up here, and my heart breaks every time.
Things have been okay in the little bubble of this past month, but I think that’s because I didn’t fully comprehend what exactly the three of them were training for.
I don’t know if I can handle this.
Facing the wall, my hair hiding my face from the gazes of anyone else who may be looking at me, I let the tears fall silently down my cheeks.
CHAPTER 29
Rowan
We won the fight. Miraculously, I also won all the bets I placed, meaning I’m walked away with a whole stack of cash.
I didn’t bother counting it, because Mirabelle looked so pale I was worried she would pass out, but I’m pretty sure it’s over three thousand dollars.
I’ve spent a similar amount over the past month making sure the guys are more comfortable and Mirabelle has things like her nesting supplies, but that was of my Dad’s money.
This ismine.
It’s burning a hole in my pocket as Dad talks to Jett in the front seat about how surprised he was that our team beat the other, despite being given the worst matchup possible.
I don’t know whether Jett was lying or not about Dad betting against me, but it seems like even if he did lose some money, the high of the win and what it means for the family trumps any anger over losing some cash.
Because a win like this means a lot more money down the line, than just what my dad would think is a quick buck.
For me, this means I have something to fall back on if I ever getthe opportunity to escape. Something to keep Mirabelle and I afloat while we hide and figure out a way to survive outside this place.
Mirabelle is practically catatonic as she sits in the backseat next to me. I had to use the leash to guide her through the crowd once the fight was over because it would’ve looked strange if I took her hand.
