I lean back, frowning. “For love?”
“For your mother,” he clarifies and looks at me again. “Sorry, I’m being dramatic. I’m an old man. It happens.”
“Why my mother?”
He fiddles with a pen, idly clicking it open and closed.“He was a complicated man who married a complicated woman. At least, that’s how it seemed at first, but then it became simple. Your mother’s an addict and he was hopelessly in love with her, while she only cared about her drugs.”
“Sounds about right. Even when Mom was here, she didn’t do much but make our lives harder.”
“He held it all together the best he could, but addicts aren’t known for their self-control. She began to spiral. From what I understand, she racked up some serious debt to some very dangerous people. I’m talking the sort of debt that not even your father could easily claw his way out of.”
A chill runs over my skin. “That’s why he did it?”
“That’s what he said after he got caught. I’ll never forget that night, out in one of our old warehouses, your father beaten to hell but not angry. He spilled his guts. Told us everything, start to finish. Broke my damn heart, hearing him say it all, how such a proud and strong man could end up so low for a woman like your mother.” Saverino shakes his head slowly. “I’m sorry, Kira. I really am. Like I said, I respected and liked your father very much.”
I drink some tea and swallow it against the tears. Some run down my cheeks anyway. “You killed him?”
“Not me. But I was there, and I voted with everyone else. He wasn’t upset when we told him what had to happen. He facedhis end with dignity and strength. Nobody wanted to do it. There was no anger in his final moments. Only men doing what they had to.”
“Nobody had to kill him.” My voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “You left me with her. Me and my sister.”
“I know.” He sounds genuinely regretful. “We didn’t do right by you, mostly because your father’s betrayal ran too deep. We couldn’t be seen helping his family. Not after the stain of what he did. But Stellan never forgot about you.”
I lean back in surprise. “Stellan? Wasn’t he young when it happened?”
“Eighteen years old. Your father was his mentor, and his betrayal broke Stellan’s heart. He took it very poorly for a while. But after a year or two, he started checking in on you and your sister. I think he felt bad, leaving you two alone with your mother, and I think he missed your father. Maybe seeing you was his way of being close to his mentor again.” Saverino shrugs and clicks the pen again. “I’m sorry if this hurts. It was all a long time ago.”
“Not that long. Not to me anyway.” I feel dizzy and sick. My father stole that book to pay off my mother’s debts. She’s the reason he got killed. It’s her fault that he’s dead. All this time, she must’ve known the truth, but she never said a word about it.
“You can blame me if you like. Blame the other old-timers too if it helps. But not Stellan. He had nothing to do with our decision.”
“I know that.” I hunch forward, breathing deep to steady myself. “Did he really check up on me?”
“Oh, absolutely. I told him to let it go more than a few times over the years, but he was steadfast. I thought you knew?”
I shake my head. “From my perspective, we just met.”
“Ah, I guess I’m not surprised. Stellan’s not easy to know.”
I ask him a few more questions about my father. He tells me a couple of stories from my old man’s glory days, but my heart isn’t in it anymore. I finish my tea, thank him, and let him walk me to the door.
“Stop by whenever you like,” he says on the threshold. “But you’ll have to accept my wife’s food next time.”
“Tell her I’ll come for dinner.”
He laughs, grinning big. “She’d love that! And if you weren’t married, she’d try to pawn you off on one of my boys.”
“Oh, yeah? What about you?”
“I’d steer you away. You’re too nice for them. See you again soon, Mrs. Corsetti.” He waves, and I head down the stoop, hands shoved in my pockets.
The driver’s waiting. He holds the door as I climb into the back. A guard’s sitting up front with him, and they must notice my mood. Neither of them says anything as we pull into traffic.
Memories of my father swirl. He was always working, but whenever he was home, he was intensely present. He was funny, engaging, charming, and even seemed to make my mother a better person. Or at least that’s how it felt to me when I was young.
But now I know my mother’s poison got him killed.
He betrayed his own Famiglia for her. Saverino says he did it for love, but I think he did it because she’s a disease. She infected him and ruined him the way she infects and ruins everything around her. I’m happy she’s not here, because if she were, I think I’d kill her myself.
