“Tabs, I’m serious!”
“Me too, girl. I’ve been thinking about starting an OnlyFans for years, but Joshy won’t let me. I keep telling him he’s got a great dick and would look fantastic on camera, but he’s not into it.”
“Stop. I’m begging you.”
“Seriously, Kira, you do enough for Gem already. I don’t know what you’re considering, but how much more do you have to give?”
She’s got a point. But that’s exactly why I can’t stop thinking about Stellan’s proposition.
It’ll mean I won’t have to work two jobs anymore. I’ll have more time for Gem. I could devote myself to her, really help with her applications and her studies. We could actually afford school visits even. It’d change everything…
All I’d have to do is give the last shred of dignity I have left.
“That’s the thing.” I go over and lead the big dog back into position. “I’d do anything for Gem.”
“I know that.”
“I’d even sell my feet.” I grin at her before I turn on the dryer.
The big dog is not remotely happy, and neither is my hangover.
Three daysslip past like nothing. I barely even notice until I’m putting on my waitressing clothes and heading out to the diner. Gem’s home and studying, which is pretty much all she ever does. I hope when she’s at college, she’ll have more of a life than I do. But that’s the whole point, right? We put in the work now so that everything’s better in the future.
And Gem could have so much more freedom, if only we had the resources…
I’m strangely nervous. Gem caught me putting on makeup and made a face. “You never put anything on before work. What’s going on?”
“Just need an extra layer of armor to feel good about myself tonight, that’s all.”
Which she accepted. Truth is, I’d rather have a full suit of steel plate than a little eyeliner, but I take what I can get.
At least Pam’s working tonight. She greets me with a quick hug and a litany of complaints, like always. Harry’s bobbing his head to his music and only spares a quick wave of a spatula before plating an order. The diner smells like grease and coffee, and all I want to do is run away.
Stellan’s not there yet.
I settle into my shift. It’s an average night. Busy at first, but slows between ten and midnight. The drunks aren’t out yet, which means I have quiet time to sit around and reflect on all my life choices and how they’ve steered me here.
I’m still not sure why Stellan chose me. Just based on the way girls were practically tripping over themselves to get close to him at dinner and at the club, I’d bet there are maybe a few thousand potential wives within spitting distance. Most of them would probably be much more willing than me.
If all he needs is arm candy, wouldn’t that make more sense?
I still don’t get it. It feels like there’s more to this situation than he’s letting on. But why do I always have to second-guess everything?
My life’s been one long string of failures and mistakes. My father died, my mother’s always been an addict, my little sister’s agenius, but she’s trapped in poverty, and then there’s me, trying to hold it all together. Nothing truly good ever comes my way. Maybe that’s why I can’t see Stellan as more than a problem.
I duck into the back for my fifteen-minute break. When I come back out, he’s sitting in his usual booth. Pam gives me a wink and whispers, “I figured you’d want to serve him. You know, since you two are so close these days.”
I don’t even argue. Instead, I get him coffee, hesitate, pour myself a mug too, and sit down across from him. He doesn’t look surprised when I push his drink in front of him and take a long sip from mine.
“Busy night?” he asks casually, as if this were a totally normal meeting and my future isn’t dangling in the balance.
“Quiet until you showed up.”
“I have that effect.”
I take a deep breath. He’s watching me carefully, his face hard but curious, like he’s waiting for something terrible to happen.
“I don’t want to make this a big thing, okay?” I lean forward, heart racing into my throat. I’m sure I’m making a horrible mistake.
