“A mob wife.” She grins at me and snuggles closer. “You like it, don’t you?”
“I don’t know.” I stare at the ceiling, frowning. “I mean, I do, don’t get me wrong, but?—”
“It’s okay, you know.” Gem’s voice gets soft and gentle. “You’re allowed to be happy.”
“I know that.”
“But do you? I mean, do you really? It’s okay now. Stellan’s taking care of the money stuff, right? You don’t have to spend your whole life killing yourself for me anymore. You can be happy.”
“Gemmy—”
“No, really, I mean it. I should’ve said this to you a long, long time ago, but I never really got it until recently.” She lifts her face and meets my gaze. “I love you, Kira. You’re truly the best big sister anyone could ever ask for. You’ve done so much for me,so now I’m going to do something in return.” She hugs me tight. “You’re done. I don’t need you anymore.”
That hurts like a kick to the teeth. I sit there, stunned and not sure how to answer. She grips me harder, squeezing.
“You don’t mean that,” I barely manage to wheeze.
“I really, really do. You’re finished. You’ve done too much already. Whatever happens to me will be my own fault now. You can’t live your life for me anymore, Kira. You need to live it for yourself.”
I blink back tears. God, why am I crying so much lately? “Ihavebeen doing that already. Taking care of you has been for me too.”
“But you’re done now. You have Stellan. You have a life and a new family to build. You want that with him, right?”
“Yes,” I say, barely a whisper, because it’s true. I want him. I love him. More than I thought I could or would. I never knew there was this much space inside of me for anyone but Gem. Now there’s a big Stellan-shaped chamber in my heart.
“Good. Love him. You’re not responsible for me.”
Tears flow freely now. I struggle not to sob. “What am I going to do when you’re not the center of my world anymore?”
“Find a new center. Make it yourself or Stellan or whatever you want. I’m going to be okay. I promise. I love you, and I’m going to be okay.”
I let go. I cry, hugging her, because she’s right. It’s time to move on. Gem’s going to college. She’s old enough to take care of herself. I’ll always be here to help her, but I don’t have to make it my entire life.
I can love Stellan. I’m allowed to love him, and it’s okay if I want to build something with him. That doesn’t mean I’m betraying Gem or acting like my mother.
It takes me a few minutes before I get myself together. Gem smiles at me, tears in her eyes too. “God, look at us,” I say, wiping her face with my hand. “We’re a damn mess.”
“I know. We’re such ugly criers too.”
“Speak for yourself. I’m dainty and ladylike.”
“Nope, you hiccup like a cartoon drunk.”
“How dare you.”
A door downstairs slams. I frown a little and push out of the nook. Gem finds some tissues and blows her nose while I use my sleeve to dry my face off.
“Are you expecting someone?” she asks.
“I think so. Maybe.” I check my phone, but there’s no message. “Stay here. I’ll go see who’s down there.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” She stretches with a sigh and grins at me. “I love my personal floor, but it’s a lot of stairs getting up here.”
I drag myself back down, past my bedroom, and toward the front foyer. The door’s hanging open slightly, which is weird. Did I forget to close it? Did Stellan’s guards leave it like that?
“Hello?” I call out, turning off the steps and toward the kitchen.
Something slams into my stomach.
