Chapter Nine
Drew
He was selfish and he was going to hell, but he didn’t care.Not in this moment at least, with Alana in his arms and the sun streaming in through the windows like liquid gold, casting her skin in a golden shroud.He hadn’t had sex like it.Not sex with a connection, not sex with more than just pleasure, like there was something connecting them, pulling them together.Sex with Alana was heaven.
She stirred in his arms, opening her hazel eyes and squinting against the light.
“Good morning.”
Her groggy morning voice brought a smile to his face.He was an early riser, typically at the gym by five in the morning.It was clear he was going to need to be the one who woke her up, made her breakfast—
Except, he wouldn’t be.Not if he didn’t take care of Max.And did he even really know how she felt?People say things during sex.Crazy things they don’t mean.
He felt his muscles tense.He wasn’t used to this.He didn’t like feeling this way.Vulnerable.Ripe for the picking.Only one person had made him feel this way before.
“Good morning,” he echoed.
She sat up on her elbows, casting her eyes over him, studying him.He exhaled, something like a laugh combined with frustration.Was he fucking stupid?This was Alana.She knew him.
“This ...don’t worry if you—” He waved a hand, like that finished his sentence.
She wrapped the sheet around her, clutching it tightly.A flush began to spread over her cheeks, and he longed to warm himself on it, to stroke away the worry between her eyebrows.But he couldn’t move, the world was waiting for the words about to fall from her lips.Like everything stood still, no chirp of the birds, no rush of cars, nothing, everything and everyone was waiting for this woman.
Her eyes flew to him, and she said quickly, hurriedly, “I meant every word I said to you and more.I’m not sure what I can offer, I’m scarred inside from my childhood, from everything, this is my first time falling for someone.But I am healing, and I am trying, and I’d like to try with you.I love you, Drew.But this love is scarred.Can you accept it?Me?”Her eyes were saucers, so round, hope swimming in them.
Nothing could quell his racing heart.He reached out and intertwined their fingers, pulling them up to his scarred cheek.“You’re in good company, love.I won’t leave you.I promise.”Tell her.Now.“I love you.I think I always have done, since the second I saw you in that red dress brandishing thatcome at me I dare youface at that shitty event.I couldn’t have cared less about what you were offering, I would’ve bought it.It turned out to be a perfect coincidence that what you were offering was just what I needed, and, even better, I could visit you whenever I wanted.I don’t need to be in that fucking club day in and day out.Why do you think I’m there every day?”He ran his thumb over her cheek, catching the tears that pooled there.
“I did wonder.”She laughed.“I just figured you loved the club.”
“No, I loved its owner.Always have, always will.”
With that, words were no longer needed or wanted.
Her legs opened for him like they had been doing this for years.
Why hadn’t they been doing this for years?What a waste of time.He would waste no more, he would treasure it.
She shuddered as he entered her, and he cupped her face, wanting to memorize this moment, memorize her.When he moved his hips deeper, harder, until they both fell toward release, he made sure to say, “I love you,” as they both went over the edge.
He cupped her beautiful face in his hands and looked at the love reflected back there.
Yes, he was selfish.Selfish in coming back to her, but she was a target now, whether he was with her or not, and joining up with Max before he could make his move on him could keep her somewhat safe for the time being.
So, with her he would stay.
