Axel: Seriously though, have we scrubbed the blood out of the floor yet? Because that really kills the casual poker vibe. No pun intended.
Blake: You have the emotional intelligence of a concussed hamster.
Axel: Jace, tell me you called 1-800-BLOOD-BE-GONE. Please.
Jace: There wasn’t THAT much blood, Axel. She wasn’t hemorrhaging, for God’s sake.
Axel: It’s STILL BLOOD.
Jace: Tell you what. You’re SO concerned about it? You clean it.
Axel: [GIF of someonebacking away slowly]
Axel: Did you know there are people whose ENTIRE job is cleaning up after violent crimes?
Blake: Axel, I will personally perform a laryngectomy on you. For free.
Axel: I’m dead serious. Crime scene cleaners. It’s a whole industry.
Me: We’re aware.
Axel: But like … when they were a kid at career day, do you think they were like, “YES! Homicide cleanup! Sign me the fuck up!”
Jace: Laugh all you want. Bet they make bank.
Axel: They’d BETTER. Otherwise, it’s a hundred times more disturbing.
Blake: Or maybe some people want to help families during the worst moments of their lives.
Axel: Wow. You found the Hallmark moment in hazmat suits and brain matter. Impressive.
Jace: Can we get back on track? What’s everyone’s Friday looking like?
Blake: ER shift ends at noon. Therapy with Tessa at four.
Axel: Ooh, couples therapy? Trouble in paradise already? *popcorn emoji*
Blake: Premarital counseling, dipshit. It’s a thing normal people do. We missed our final appointment before the wedding and promised to finish it.
Axel: Dakota and I don’t need that. We communicate GREAT.
Jace: You fought last week over whether dinosaurs could’ve been pink.
Axel: They COULD’VE been! We don’t KNOW!
Me: Blake, any advice on getting Faith to open up to me?
Blake: Patience. She’s still not telling me everything either, and I’m her brother.
Axel: Share something vulnerable first. Makes people feel safe.
Me:…
Blake: Did … did you just give actual useful advice?
Axel: Dakota made me listen to a feelings podcast. Don’t get used to it.
Jace: The redemption arc continues.
