If only they knew. I’d have to tell them soon enough what was really going on, but not now. Not yet. Maybe not ever, if I could help it.
“I’m going to go grocery shopping right now. Then I’m coming home to make you guys the biggest dinner you’ve ever seen. How does that sound?”
Relief flooded their faces as they nodded. And there it was—that look that said I was their whole world. The look that mademe want to simultaneously wrap them in bubble wrap and run screaming into the night.
Behind Jessica, something small clattered to the floor. Before I could even process what it was, Ryker was there, smoothly retrieving a cell phone that had fallen from the counter. He handed it back to Jessica with a gentle smile, his eyes meeting hers without the look most people got when they saw kids like us. Kids who hunched their shoulders like they were expecting a blow, who struggled to hold anyone’s gaze, who’d learned that looking “different” made adults uncomfortable.
Weirdwas the most frequent (and infuriating) term we got called.
But Ryker didn’t flinch or glance away. He smiled and held Jessica’s eyes, patiently waiting as she fumbled to take the phone back. In his act of kindness, in treating her like she wasn’t different at all, I watched something shift in Jessica’s posture. Just a fraction, but enough to tell me it meant something to her, that he’d looked at her like she wasn’t broken.
And damn it if my heart didn’t tumble even more for him.
He fit here. In my kitchen, with my kids, in my chaotic little world.
And it terrified me how much I wanted him to stay.
Ryker didn’t look at these kids like they were damaged goods. Like they were problems to be managed or pitied. And if he could look at them with that kind of acceptance, that genuine respect despite everything they’d been through … maybe he wouldn’t look at me like I was broken either when I finally revealed my truths.
I mean, honestly, he’d already seen me covered in blood, presumably having killed a man. Nothing was worse than that, right?
So, why in the hell was I this scared to reveal the other secrets that felt so much smaller in comparison?
Because,a treacherous voice whispered in my head,that oneincident might not be what it seems. A misunderstanding. Self-defense, hopefully. An anomaly.
But those other times? Those were choices. Those were a pattern. A history of bad decisions that proved I was exactly the kind of person who didn’t deserve someone like him.
“So …” I slipped my jacket off and leaned against the counter, trying not to think about how Ryker’s presence made everything feel both safer and more dangerous at the same time. “Tell me what I missed. How’s the job hunt going?”
“Good!” Todd’s whole face lit up. “I filled out six more applications, and I feel really good about this fast-food place. The manager was super nice when I handed him my application. He asked follow-up questions and everything.”
“That’s a really good sign!” I grinned at him. “Great job, Todd. What about you, Jess?”
“I filled out four applications.” Her voice was quieter, more hesitant.
I saw Ryker’s attention briefly flick to her arms, saw the moment of recognition. Jessica was a cutter. The scars were fading, but still visible, and among other things, they made job hunting brutal for her. She felt self-conscious and worried potential employers saw the evidence of her trauma like a scarlet letter.
But Ryker? His expression didn’t change. No judgment, no pity. Just quiet understanding. And damn if that didn’t make me want to kiss him right here in front of everyone.
“You guys are both doing such an incredible job. I’m so proud of you,” I cooed.
Ryker watched me with an expression that made my knees weak.
“I don’t want to leave here.” Jessica’s face crumpled slightly.
And there it was. One of the biggest fears any foster kid faced. That was what she’d been worried about with my absence. It played on her fear that I was leaving them, just like everyone else had. It took everything to hide the terror in my heart that her fear might come true if I wound up behind bars.
“You don’t have to.” The words came out fierce and protective. Because if nothing else, I could give them this. “You don’t have to leave unless or until you’re ready. This is your home. You hear me?”
Instantly, Jessica’s rigid posture melted.
Ryker’s gaze intensified, and I felt it like a caress. The way he looked at me in moments like this—like I was something precious instead of something damaged—made me want to pull him into my bedroom and let him hold me until I fell asleep.
Suddenly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to sleep on my own anymore.
“All right, guys, I’m going to run to the store. Make me a list of everything you want for dinner tonight and for the next few days,” I said.
“Faith.” Ryker’s voice was low. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
