“I know,” I said quietly. “But there’s something I have to do first.”
I could practically hear his brain spinning, wondering what could possibly be more important than saving my life. What could be so pressing when my freedom hung by such a fragile thread?
The answer was simple. The most important thing in my world.
“Can you turn right up ahead?” I asked.
He didn’t even ask why. He just trusted me enough to follow. And in that moment, another wave shifted between us. Another in the long line of them that started before he’d “rescued” me from that flirtatious asshole. Before he’d comforted me in the elevator. And before he’d explored every inch of my body…
Something that made me hope that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t reject me when he saw all my ugly pieces …
I swear, Ryker’s radar was tuned to every shift in my breathing because as we turned the corner, he glanced at my face, and whatever he saw there made him reach across the console. His fingers interlaced with mine once again.
Those hands. Always there when I needed them.
But as his thumb traced circles on my skin, a different memory surfaced. A time when those same hands hadn’t been gentle or comforting. When they’d been desperate, demanding. When I’d been the one trying to hold us both back from the edge.
The memory pulled me under like a riptide …
14
FAITH
Six Weeks Ago
“I told you we shouldn’t do this.” My voice came out hot, desperate, nothing like the firm rejection I’d practiced. “The elevator was supposed to be the one and only time.”
“I barely got to touch you then.” Ryker’s voice carried an edge that sent heat spiraling through me. I could tell he’d been replaying that moment in the elevator ever since it happened, torturing himself with what could have happened if we’d stayed trapped just a little longer.
Little did he know, I did the exact same thing. I just couldn’t admit it. Wouldn’t admit it. Life was already complicated enough. While I was working desperately to put the old Faith in the past and build someone new, the last thing I should be doing was having a fling with my brother’s best friend.
Because that’s what this was becoming. A fling. Right?
Couldn’t be more than that.
The fact that my brain constantly searched for excuses to be alone with Ryker was just a symptom of a fling. The fact that I hung on every word he said, adored that charming smirk he gave whenever I said something sharp … all just symptoms of a fling.
And okay, fine. Even I could admit that staring at the ceiling at three in the morning, wondering about his past, wondering if he might be the type of person who could accept me … that bordered on more than a fling. Those late nights when I’d googled him, reading about his cases. The pro bono work he did for people who couldn’t afford representation.
That was definitely more than fling territory.
But it was hard to keep those boundaries. To me, Ryker seemed like the anchor of the group. Anytime anyone was in trouble, he was there to help. Like when Blake got into legal trouble after Tessa’s assailant ended up dead. And, no, I absolutely did not ask about any of that. But Ryker was right there for my brother.
And when Dakota and Axel received threats, Ryker had been there, leading the charge. Going above and beyond to protect them and keep them safe. When Dakota had been attacked, Ryker even called in favors to have police show up at their penthouse instead of her having to go all the way downtown to the station.
These simple gestures that he constantly did for his friends, for the people he cared about, made it seriously hard to stay in fling territory.
It was like my heart had become the prosecutor, laying out its evidence that I was falling for him. Every thoughtful action presented as Exhibit A, B, C. My brain played defense, desperately trying to poke holes in the prosecution’s theories. But the evidence kept mounting. The way he’d tell me legal jokes that were so terrible that they made me laugh. The way his eyes found mine first whenever he walked into a room.
“We should stop.” That part was definitely my brain talking. My heart wanted me to beg him to put his hands on me. “Dakota will be back any minute.”
Honest to criminy, if this started happening every time we found ourselves alone in Axel’s penthouse, I’d …
Oh, who was I kidding? I would probably pitch a tent in his living room just for the possibility.
“I cannot stop thinking about you.” Ryker’s voice was rough.
“We need to find a way.”
