He waited to see if I’d say more and sighed.
“You’ve been spinning your ring since the queen read that letter—”
“Don’t analyze me.” I forced anger into my voice to cover my begging.
“Manse’s death is upsetting, but what you’re feeling isn’t about a single moment. It’s existential.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“If you think we’re going to lose—”
“—I didn’t say that.”
“—then we need to change tactics. You need to trust me.”
“I do,” I sobbed. I cleared my throat to speak more calmly. “Queen Elthra will win this war, that much I’m certain of.” It wasn’t a problem of trust but of burden. How could I lay death at the foot of the man I loved?
Draw looked at me, squinting. I realized my tactical mistake. If I wasn’t upset about the outcome of the war and couldn’t be worried about my own safety due to Sorrel’s protection, then what was left?
“Dear Dottie.” Draw leaned in, nearly touching our foreheads. “It’s about me, isn’t it?”
I was so startled I choked and coughed. When I finally recovered, I opened my mouth to make a rebuttal, but he cut me off by smoothing back my long hair. I felt the frizz of it go flat.
“Do you think a man could get close to a woman who knows the future and not wonder?”
I swallowed again and licked my lips.
“Since you told me of your origin and cause, I reasoned that some things are better not to know. As much as you might want to protect me, this is a war and my place is here. If that puts me at risk, that’s the lot I’ve been given.
“But with my lot comes purpose. I may not be the cover hero, but I have an impact on this queendom, and for that I’m proud. As much as I might complain about Elthra’s ways, she keeps the queendom stable. Listens to her advisors more than most. I doubt this made it to the books, but did you know every orphan is fed and cared for until they come of age, at her command?”
I shook my head wordlessly.
“The Dark Mage...I doubt he’s the terror he’s made out to be, but he has chosen chaos in his bid to challenge the queen, and I can’t have that.” Draw put his arm around me and the blanket around us both. “I’d much rather live my life five days a week at the ‘mindless corporate jobs’ you’ve described to me if that meant spending the weekends reading with you, safe, but I don’t have that chance. I can’t go back with you. I’m here.” For the first time, his voice shook. “And being here means my fate is tied to that of my country. As the court solicitor, as a man, I know how little control we have over life and its end. Besides, you’ll be going home soon, and I’m not sure I can stand to be without you.” He said this last bit as if it were a joke but wasn’t entirely successful. There was a shine of tears in his eyes. His mouth was firm.
“Don’t say that.”
His gaze flicked up to mine. “For meeting you, Dottie, I’m ready. Please tell me my fate.”
I was untethered, light-headed. Pain filled my belly.How could I?
But I must. I had to trust him. We had to work together.
“You’re...going to die soon.”
Though he expected it, fear still ran across his face. “How?”
“We need to be smart about this. So, though it might shock you, I need you to hold it together. Any plan won’t be very good without you.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “Yes, Mistress Witch.”
I ran my hands over my face.This was going to be hard.
“In the books, you make it through the war alive. Sherry Whitehorse didn’t feature you in the battle scenes, so I don’t know exactly what you were doing, but you drafted the terms of peace between Queen Elthra and the last of the Dark Mage’s followers. Ironclaw took him out, by the way. Then you appeared in the second-to-last chapter, a celebration of sorts. The queen bequeaths your house an additional tract of land in recognition of your service to the crown.”
Draw looked at me warily. All of this sounded good, so far.
“And then I eat a piece of celebratory cake and choke to death?”
