“Sorrel, what did you do?”
“Okay, first summoning of your Fairy Bookmother it is. Let’s make the most of it.” Her voice pitched into new ecstasy with her next reveal. “You, Dottie darling, are now in the world ofLandsome Roads. Here, you can play out the fantasies of your dreams and become a brand-new va-va-voom woman! Plus”—she quickened her pace even as her smile grew—“you’re going to save book five by finally making it the story readers have always wanted. Don’t be intimidated by the plot issues—I’m sure you’ll hardly notice them. Just focus on having a good time.”
I stared her down. “Whatever this is, take me back. I didn’t sign anything. I do notconsent to being filmed!” I said loudly for any hidden camera people.
“No one’s filming you, honey,” she said. “This is just for you. A little me time to help you loosen up. What you do with it is up to you. Plus, you know, help us smooth over those bumps in the story.” Her voice dropped as she tried to pacify me. “You’reLandsome Roads’s biggest fan. Just follow your instincts.”
“I don’t want to do...this.”
Sorrel gave an odd kind of smile, less benevolent than the others. She swung her braid back. “Oh, but you do. You just don’t believe this is real. Watch this.” Sorrel spun her hands gently together.
Flowers bloomed over my head. I took them off. A flower crown.
She flipped one hand upward.
Gold thread wove through my gown, contrasting with the dark cloth brilliantly.
“And onnneee more!” she sang, popping both hands open.
A satchel appeared at my side.My satchel. From home.
I went weak in the knees. How did she do that?
Sorrel tilted her head in a dainty way. “Just a few rules before I go. Common FAQs, if you will.”
The hand holding the flower crown dropped to my side. “You don’t need to say ‘common.’ It’s implied.”
“See? This is what I’m talking about.” Sorrel tilted her chin. “We’re going to make you more fun at parties.” She cleared her throat. “So, the FAQs. Let’s get your biggest question out of the way: no, you cannot get pregnant here.”
I stuttered. “What? That wasnotmy most urgent question.”
“After all, this isn’t your real body. So, FAQ number two—no, you can’t die here. But youcanfeel pain and hunger. All the human things,especiallylust.” She puckered her lips at me.
“Sorrel, none of these are my biggest questions.How do I get home?”
She nodded sagely. “I’ll add that to the FAQ list. And the answer is—it’s different for everyone. When it’s time, it’s time.”
“So, people have done this before?”
She ducked her head slightly. “As I said, we’re a new division. Fairy Godmothers have worked a lot of magic over the years, and don’t worry, we’re extensively testing the Fairy Bookmother model.”
“But wait, I could be here for forty years?”
“Honey, it won’t take you forty years to lighten up.” She laughed, flashing her white teeth. “Besides, all of this will feel like a blip when you return home. No time will have passed in your reality at all.”
At least my parents wouldn’t arrive home to find me missing, call my work, and get a very biased, one-sided story of what I do when they’re gone.
Sorrel continued, “While you’re working onyou, I want you to think about our little conversation at the library. The publisher made a boo-boo entrusting Sherry Whitehorse’s story to the wrong author. Every reader knows the fifth book is thedisgraceof an otherwise perfect series. Well, I’m now trustingyouto steer things right.”
I put my hands out, as if I could pause all of this and process it.
“I think that’s everything. Mwah!” She blew me a kiss. “Go have fun.”
And then I was alone in a forest in a corset and a gown. I spun around.Reallyalone.
“Sor—” I almost called her again but stopped myself on the off chance this was actually real. I could only call on her twice more, and honestly, I might need directions or, who knew, help solving a warlock’s riddle.
The trees were tall, their branches touching overhead, with little more than delicate ferns across the forest floor. The air smelled of soft mulch and pine. I took an experimental step forward. Then another. I stopped and strained my ears, listening for the distant sound of a highway, but there was nothing—just the dense sound of branches swaying. Most of the trees were a calming green but two showed edges of red and orange. Fall was coming.
