Drawn by memories and the beauty of the poem, he sat in the chair opposite her, tilted his head back, and closed his eyes.
“It’s beautiful.” Dianne’s voice was soft as butterfly wings, gentle as the pink of dawn, and he kept his eyes shut as he bathed in the moment.
The rustle of pages turning informed him she was looking further.
“Jace, did you know there is a message for you in your pa’s Bible?”
That jerked him upright. “There is? I’ve never touched either of these since I stowed them away in my room.” He leaned closer, his eyes burning with a thousand things—regret, sorrow, the sense of waste in their early passing, and most of all, a great hollow loneliness. “What does it say?”
“Do you want me to read it?” She edged the Bible toward him. “Maybe you should.”
“I don’t think I can.”
Her eyes lingered, searching and fillingwith compassion. “Very well. It’s beside a verse he’s underlined. ‘The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.’” She cleared her throat. “His writing is very shaky.”
Jace breathed through his mouth.
Her throat clearing echoed throughout the room and rattled inside his head.
“This is what it says. ‘The girls drew their last breath this morning. Mother is still struggling but won’t make it much longer. Nor will I. Only Jace remains. Lord, he’ll be so hurt. Can You guide him to a happy, productive life? I know he tends to take on too much, blames hisself when things go wrong. Jace, I want you to live a life free of guilt and condemnation. The sort of life God can provide. I love you, Son.’”
Jace’s throat tightened like someone had dropped a rope over his head and snagged it to a team of horses pulling hard. His nostrils flared as he tried to suck in air. How had Pa known Jace would think he failed to protect his family? His throat relaxed marginally because Pa knew him and loved him.
An ache as dark and hollow as a deep cave bored out his insides.
What Pa didn’t know was how his son would be responsible for the death of the man who rescued him, nurtured him, and treated him like a son.
Jace’s muscles coiled, prepared to leap to his feet and tear from the room. But Dianne eased forward and touched his knee. His muscles uncoiled.
“Jace, your pa was right. You take on too much.”
She might have more to say, but he silenced her with a dismissive grunt. Or he thought he signaled he didn’t want to hear more.
Instead of staying quiet, she squeezed his knee. “You blame yourself for the fire that took Chet’s life, and I understand that. But?—”
“There is no but.” He growled the words.
“Do you take over God’s role in life?”
She didn’t give him a chance to reply. Obviously didn’t want to hear what he’d say. Of course, he’d deny it.
“God is the One who decides if we live or die.” She sat back, looking almost smug.
“Are you saying God killed Chet?” Each word carried the sharpness of a well-honed knife.
Dianne shivered at his tone.At his accusation. “I guess I didn’t say that well.” But when she sought a better way, none came. “Jace, all I know is you can’t live in guilt forever. Forgive yourself and follow the path your pa and Chet would want for you.” The one she wanted him to choose as well, but she wouldn’t mention that.
His eyes flared with the reflection of the flames in the fireplace. The air between them shimmered. He drew in a deep breath. Silence hovered as he studied her, seeking answers she didn’t have. He blinked once, twice. His shoulders rose and fell. Another deep breath lifted his chest. “Dianne, do you want me to stay? I don’t mean to run the ranch. I mean, do you wantmeto stay?”
Her smile came readily and widely. Her answer was certain. “Jace, I would like you to stay.” After all, it was his ranch, but that wasn’t the reason for her answer. “I wantyouto stay.”
His answering smile warmed her heart with hope and promise.
“Then I’ll stay.” He clasped her hands between his.
“I’m glad.” Although she waited, hungering for more, an offer to make this permanent, even a declaration of his feelings for her, all he offered was a beaming smile that lit the room and settled into her heart.
Still holding her hands, he grew intense. “I’llarrange to have the barn rebuilt. I’ll need to hire more cowboys.” With the suddenness of a clap of thunder, he sat back, his expression dark.
