She sat back, her eyes wide. Then she smiled. Her gaze lowered to his mouth.
Rather pleased with himself, he got to his feet. “I best be heading for bed. Bar the door behind me.” He waited outside the door to hear her drop the wood into place, then went to the bunkhouse, grateful the lamp had been turned down so the boys couldn’t see the smile he was unable to stop.
Dianne restedher head against the door, smiling as she recalled the evening. Jace could have won a game of checkers easily. He was either distracted or wanting the excuse of needing to win in order to spend another evening or two with her. And then another kiss. It had crossed her mind to tell him not to do that anymore. But she hadn’t done so, preferring to believe his fondness for her was growing strong enough to persuade him to stay and make their arrangement permanent by marrying her.
The wood pressed into her forehead, no doubt leaving a mark on her skin. She stepped back to rub it. If only she could rub at her troubles and hope to erase them.
Before she went upstairs, she checked her breakfast preparations. She’d baked so there’d be bread to accompany chops from the deer Lee brought over. Leftover potatoes were ready for slicing and frying.
She wandered to the sitting room to put away the checker game. The spines of the books bumped beneath her touch as she ran her fingers along them.
More and more, she saw Jace being drawn back into ranch life…in the way he cleaned up the remains of the barn, in the way he arranged for meat for them to eat, in his interest in teaching Eddie.
Was it enough? What could she do to make it more? Was that why she was allowing those stolen kisses? Except they weren’t stolen, they were freely given.
Pushing aside her troublesome thoughts, she climbed the stairs and prepared for bed. She sat on the mattress and opened her Bible. She read a few verses, then knelt by her bed.
Lord, guide me. My fondness for Jace is growing. You know that. I want him to stay and not solely to run the ranch. Lord, I want him to stay for me. For Eddie. I need Your strength and wisdom to follow the right path.
The next morning, she was up before Eddie and slipped down to the kitchen.
She had put the chops to fry when his feet hit the floor. “Mama!”
“Get dressed and come down.”
He clattered down the stairs, his trousers unbuttoned, his shirt on crooked.
“Hang on while I straighten you out.”
He barely stood still long enough for her to adjust his clothes. Then he was at the door, begging her to lift the bar and let him out.
“Eddie, they might still be sleeping.”
“No. They’s men. They’s up.”
She chuckled. “It appears you think men go to work before daylight.” The sky was pink with the promise of dawn.
“A man does his work.”
The words were no doubt a quote from something Jace had said, and pleasure as sweet as the call of a dove reached into her thoughts.
The following days fell into a routine of meals shared at the house, Cal and Lee helping Jace—and Eddie, of course—clean up the barn site. She kept busy with cooking, baking, and canning the meat.
Each evening, Jace joined her for tea and a visit, eagerly tucking Eddie into bed before he and Dianne went to the sitting room. Never once did he win at a game of checkers, even when she almost gave the play to him.
When she protested, he silenced her with a look of denial or a shrug. Seldom did he kiss her again. As if he read her mind about what it meant and didn’t want her to have the wrong idea.
Unfortunately, it was too late on her behalf. More and more, she dreamed of him staying, even though she warned herself she was asking for a broken heart to think along those lines.
One evening, she sat on the bottom step waiting for Jace to come down from tucking in Eddie.
“You always be here?” Her son’s voice came to her clearly, demanding an answer.
She sat motionless to hear Jace’s reply.
He took a long time to speak. “Eddie, I wish I could promise that, but I can’t.”
Her heart hit bottom with a thud. She stilled her disappointment as Jace continued.
