Spinning, he takes a slow, deliberate step towards me. "You're perfectly comfortable with violence as long asyou'rebeing protected. Correct?"
"That's not– what I saw– "
"What you saw…" His eyes narrow, his mouth a thin slash across his face as he stalks me though the penthouse, "was your husband protecting you. But since the threat wasn't directly toyou, what I did was wrong. Monstrous."
My back hits the granite counter in the kitchen and I grip the edge. A burning shame sears my skin. I'm defensive, ashamed, still equal parts furious and scared, so I attack. "It was monstrous! No matter what the reason."
"You're selfish, Ava, a hypocrite. You're a coward." All the animation drains from his face, even the anger. When his eyes meet mine, he looks at me with indifference, a gaze so cold that I feel it to my bones. "I despise cowards."
"I'm not a coward!" I shout. "You- you werelaughingas you told him you were going to kill his family. Is that who you really are?"
"I thought you were brave," he muses. "That the woman who ran down the hall and into my arms was strong enough to accept who I am and the shadow world that I'm part of. I have no placein my life for a little girl who's afraid of the dark, unless it servesherinterests."
I sag against the counter, feeling like he'd punched me in the heart. "W- what? We'remarried."
Conveniently omitting that you lost your shit on the flight home when you found out those vows were meant for life?
"Dmitri…" I whisper. "Please, can we talk about this? Can you help me understand?"
"If you don't understand by now," he says indifferently, "you never will." He checks his watch. "I have to leave. I have some interrogation to do." When he smiles at me, it's the sharp, wolf-like one with his pointed canines, the face of a man who's ready to tear his screaming victim's throat out.
I jump half a foot as the elevator door opens and I try one more time. "Dmitri…" It comes out as a whisper, my dry throat choking around the words that I want to say. That he shouldn't fucking walk away from me. That he needs to explainwhyhe did it.
"I've wasted my time on you," he says, as if it's a revelation. "You won't have to see mymonstrousnature again"
Rurik and Matvey step into the hall, exchanging a quick word with him as he leaves. As the door shuts, I see his face. Cold and remote. Like I'm a stranger to him. Like I no longer matter.
Chapter Thirty-Five
In which everything sucks but at least there's pie.
Ava…
"Mrs. Morozova? Dr. Singh is here to see you."
Priya is looking over Matvey's shoulder, eyes wide. I'm sure I look like shit. I didn't sleep last night, tossing and turning, back on the bed in the guest room, cycling between fury and heartbreak.
"Thank you," I manage to force out the words before reaching around him, taking Priya by the wrist, and pulling her into the room.
"Careful!" She turns to show me the heavy backpack she's carrying. "I brought over your textbooks and notes from the hospital."
I give Matvey a quick, uncomfortable smile before shutting the door in his face. Priya spins me around, hugging me tight enough to crack a rib.
"And here I was beginning to like that fucking bastard," she whispers in my ear.
"Come sit down," I say, unwrapping myself from her grip with a slight wince. "Have you been lifting weights again? You've got a grip like an anaconda."
The big sectional by the window is deep and comfortable. We both pick a corner and layer pillows up around us like a fort and she looks at me expectantly.
Focus.
There's only so much I can say to her without risking her safety. I don't know what Dmitri would do if I spilled the story of last night.
"Tell me," she commands, her expression is hard and uncompromising. "It's bad, because you really look like shit."
"When he married me in St. Petersburg, he told me, hepromisedme that this was temporary. That I could walk away. That this was for my safety." I laugh bitterly. "My safety."
"Go on," she says.
