"Easton?" Dr. Reyes's voice cut through the memory. "Where did you go just now?"
I blinked. "My father."
"What about him?"
"He would have said I deserved this. That I'd have fucked it up, anyway." The words tasted bitter. "And maybe he was right. Maybe Sadie was protecting Casey from me."
"Do you believe that?"
"I don't know what I believe anymore." I ran my hands through my hair. "All I know is that I missed six years of her life. And I can't get them back."
"No," Dr. Reyes agreed quietly. "You can't. But you have a choice about what happens next."
"What if I screw it up?" The question came out raw. "What if I'm just like him? What if the second things get hard…"
"Easton." Dr. Reyes's voice was firm. "You are not your father."
"How do you know?"
"Because you're here. Because you've been working on your anger these past weeks. Because the first thing you did when you found out about Casey was break down over a photo of her as a newborn." He paused. "Your father would never have done that."
The words hit me hard.
"You're terrified," he continued. "Not of being a father. Of failing at it. Of proving him right."
"What if I do?"
"Then you apologize, do better, and try again." Dr. Reyes sat back. "That's what parents do, Easton. They make mistakes. They screw up. And then they keep showing up."
I pulled the photo from my wallet, staring at Casey's tiny, scrunched face. "She doesn't even know I'm her father."
"How does that make you feel?"
"Like I'm living a lie every time she calls me Uncle Easton." My voice cracked. "Like I'm pretending to be something I'm not when I should be…"
"When you should be what?"
"Her dad." The word felt foreign and right all at once. "I should be her dad."
"You are her dad," Dr. Reyes said gently. "You have been for six years. You just didn't know it."
The tears came again, quieter this time but no less painful.
"What do I do now?" I asked.
"What do you want to do?"
"I want to tell Casey the truth. I want to be a part of her life. Really in it. Not as Uncle Easton, but as her father."
"And Sadie?"
My chest tightened. "I don't know. I'm so angry with her. But I also—" I couldn't finish.
"You also what?"
"I love her." The admission felt like defeat and relief all at once. "I'm furious with her, and I love her, and I don't know how to reconcile those two things."
"You don't have to. Not yet." Dr. Reyes's expression was understanding. "Right now, focus on what you can control. You can't change the past. But you can decide what kind of father you want to be."
