I scrolled to another photo. Casey's smile, one side hitching up higher than the other. Just like mine. The way she tilted her head when she was thinking through a problem. The stubborn set of her jaw showed when she was determined to master a new skill.
Her hockey obsession. Her competitive streak. The way she analyzes plays as if she were born understanding the game.
How had I not seen it before?
My mind raced backward, doing math I didn't want to do. Casey had turned six in March. Which meant she was born… I pulled up the calendar app with trembling fingers. March seven years ago. Nine months before that would be…
June.
Seven years ago in June, I'd slept with Sadie.
One night. We did use a condom, but condoms did break, it was a possibility…
No.
The phone slipped from my hand, clattering on the bathroom counter.
No, she would have told me. Sadie wouldn't keep something like that from me. She wouldn't.
But she had run. Without explanation. Holly had gone to visit herright after. My sister had been weird when she came back. Avoiding eye contact. Changing the subject whenever I mentioned Sadie's name.
What if Sadie hadn't run because she was terrified of what we'd done?
What if she'd run because she was pregnant?
What if she'd tried to tell me and I'd missed it?
My phone broke around that time. I got a brand new phone, and it came with a fresh phone number. Had she tried to call? Text? Had her messages gone into the void while I was oblivious?
What if Holly had gone to New Hampshire because Sadie was pregnant and alone?
What if Casey—
I grabbed my keys and was out the door before the thought could fully form.
Holly's apartment was only ten minutes away, but I made it in six. I didn't knock, just used the emergency key she'd given me years ago and walked straight in.
She startled from where she sat on her couch, wineglass in hand. "Jesus, Easton! You scared the…” She crinkled her brow. “What's wrong?"
"Why did you go to New Hampshire seven years ago?"
Holly blinked. "What?"
"New Hampshire." My voice was rough, barely controlled. "To visit Sadie. You left for almost a week, came back acting weird, and wouldn't talk about it. Why?"
"That was seven years ago." She set down her wine glass slowly. "Why are you asking about this now?"
"Because I just realized Casey is six years old." I stepped closer, and she stood up, eyes widening. "Born in March. Nine months after I slept with Sadie. Tell me why you went to New Hampshire."
The color drained from Holly's face. "Easton—"
"Tell me!"
"You need to talk to Sadie about this."
"I'm talking to you!" My hands fisted at my sides, the muscles in my arms suddenly tense. "Is Casey mine?"
Holly's face crumpled. "She tried to reach you."
