After the third blow, Fox’s voice echoed in her mind, drowning out any other noise.
“I wouldn’t do this if it weren’t for you, Autumn. You created this disease in me.”
She moaned, a slight shake of her head.
“Your eyes look just like theirs— I must have them since I can’t have yours.”
“No…”
“You’ll never be free of me, Autumn. I made sure you’ll never forget.”
The strikes came faster, but Autumn didn’t feel it. One lash turned into another and another as they all felt as if they were the same. Adrenaline spiked through her body before another moan burst from her throat.
Her body sagged forward with her hair covering her sweat-drenched face. Her slippery fingers barely held onto the rings overhead. Hererra stood behind her and wrapped a silk sheet around her waist, careful not to touch any part of her unless he had to.
“I got ya, hotshot.” Autumn allowed him to carry her to the bed in the corner. She breathed easier and leaned against him as they sat up in the bed. She liked Hererra, but nothing more than friendship.
“Are you okay?”
She blinked, staring across the room at the silver rings she held during the session. “Yes. Thank you.”
There was an awkward silence as she willed her body to stop shaking. Autumn sat up and leaned away from Hererra. She tied the sheet around her chest, then looked over her shoulder at him.
He leaned back, a couple of strands of hair fell into his eyes as he watched her. “You know there are other ways to exorcize your demons, right?”
Autumn rolled her eyes, “Like sex?”
“Well, yeah,” he drawled, looking across the room where the cat-o‘-nine-tails lay on the floor. “And it’s a lot more enjoyable,” he tacked on.
They had this argument-slash-conversation every few times he helped her with her issues and every time, Autumn told him the same answer.
“It doesn’t work.”
Ben snorted, “I think it works a hell of a lot better than this.”
“If you don’t want to do it anymore, I can always find someone else.” With her back turned towards him, she winced putting her bra back on and then again when she pulled the shirt on.
She heard the bed creak as he got up along with the curse under his breath. “I never said I didn’t want to help you.”
“Then what is it? What’s the problem?”
Hererra stroked her cheek when she looked up at him. His gaze landed on her scar, “You know I care about you.”
Autumn lowered her eyelashes, “As a friend.”
He dropped his hand and ruffled it through his hair. “Sure, as a friend, and maybe a little more.”
Autumn pursed her lips and crossed her arms, “You know we can’t be more. We tried, remember?”
“Yeah, we tried, but that’s because you didn’t want to communicate.”
She looked away and put her leather jacket on, “You know why.”
“Not really, other than the nightmares that seem to haunt you in your daily life because you refuse to talk about them.” His jaw hardened while his lips formed a pout. If the conversation weren’t so serious, she would have called him out on his spoiled prince expression.
“It’s difficult.” Her words became stilted as if caught in her throat, “And my nightmares are ugly. You wouldn’t want to hear about them.”
“We see ugly every day, Autumn. It’s something that no normal person could understand.”
