“Well, I was actually going to get myself set up to sleep on the couch,” I admit.
He shakes his head like the idea is painful to him, but says, “You can sleep wherever you are most comfortable, but you are more than welcome to stay in my bed.”
“Thank you.” I run my hand over the soft blankets to consider his offer.
“I have a few extra toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet, so go ahead and claim yours, and help yourself to anything else that you need. I don’t know if I have food in the fridge, but—”
“Thank you, but I think I am just going to take you up on the spare toothbrush and then try to get some sleep.”
“Okay.” He lets me say goodbye to Jalen one more time before taking the phone out into the hallway so that we can say goodnight in private. The sounds of hospital announcements and nurses completing their rounds fill the space of Jalen’s steadily beeping heart monitor back inside the room, and Cameron brings the phone up close to his face to speak softly. “How are you? I hate that you have to be there alone.”
“I’m good. Just exhausted,” I say, because it’s mostly true, especially now that I’ve seen how well Jalen is doing. I don’t want to make him worry about me and try to come back earlier than he should. “I am pretty sure I am going to pass out the second I lay my head down on the pillow.”
“Ah,” he says. “Being jealous of an inanimate object is not something I ever thought I’d experience, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
We grin at each other through the phone and seeing him happy again makes my heart skip a beat. “God, Drew,” he continues, and shakes his head incredulously like he is equally pleased. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the thrill of seeing you in my home. I can’t wait to be there with you, and once this is all settled, I also can’t wait to take you on a proper date somewhere and show you all around Charlotte. Whenever you’re up for it, that is.”
“Neither can I.” I keep the fact that I will be leaving within the next few days to myself for that moment, because even though I will be heading to New York to help Scott and Gabe get through their difficult time, I have no doubt that we will figure out exactly how to make this relationship between us work, and that theonly hard thing from here on out will be the grief of everything that happened this weekend as it comes and goes in waves for us to process, and missing each other whenever we are apart.
We’ve already been through hell and came out together on the other side, so no matter what else life throws our way, we will face it head-on and find the joy, like we are right now, in the in-between moments.
“What are you thinking?” he asks, as his eyes roam my face in wonder.
“I was thinking that, for what might be the very first time, I am not afraid of the future, I am excited for it.”
“I thought so, but I wanted to hear you say it out loud so that I can keep working on believing it,” he says.
“Me too.”
When we hang up, I brush my teeth in his sink, plug my phone into his charger that hangs from the wall, and then settle in under the covers, using what I hope is his pillow to rest my head on. And for the first time, I let out a deep breath, unclench my jaw, and fall instantly into a deep, peaceful sleep.
EPILOGUE
Christmas Eve- 9 Months Later
“Flour,lightbrownsugar,peanut butter, regular butter, eggs. What am I missing?”
I don’t know why I ask the question out loud, because I am alone in the kitchen, so there is no one around to answer me. I use my forearm to push my hair out of my face to reference the recipe card for the tenth time, growing more and more frustrated by my new shoulder-length cut. It was time for a change, but I definitely miss having hair long enough that it all stays in an elastic when I need it to.
“Ah, granulated sugar and salt. That’s right,” I say as I read the ingredients that I missed and pull the marked canisters towards me to scoop their respective amounts to add to the batter.The oven chimes that it has reached three hundred seventy-five degrees, just as the doorbell rings. I pause my attempt to be Domestic Drew to see who has arrived first.
“Val, Ollie! So nice to see you both.” I pull the front door of our Christmas rental open wide.
“You too,” they respond in unison, and I step aside so that Ollie can bring in the cases of wine.
“Wow, this place is incredible,” Val says as she shrugs off her coat. “I love the chandeliers.”
I join her in admiring them. “Me too. This house was the only vacation rental in Richmond with enough bedrooms for all of us to stay together, so I shouldn’t complain, but it’s a little bit too fancy if you ask me.”
“Val, come check this out,” Ollie calls from the kitchen, as if on cue. “The wine closet is climate-controlled.”
“I’ll be right there,” she says, and gives me a cheeky eyeroll. I lead her back into the kitchen and stifle my amusement so that we can be supportive while Ollie geeks out over the amenities.
“Where’s Emerson?” Val asks as she grabs one of the Christmas aprons that I bought for the occasion and ties it around her waist.
“She’s out with the guys. They should be back any minute.”
“I call dibs on holding her first,” Ollie says. “I haven’t met her yet, so it’s only fair.”
