“He has a room at the same hotel,” Jalen adds, “I was able to book you two adjoining rooms.”
That is a relief, but a new worry takes its place when I can’t shake off the uneasy feeling that has been rising in me for the last few minutes. “Shouldn’t you stay here with him? I know he’s a lawyer too. But maybe, just to be safe?”
“He’s fine for tonight. Another lawyer from the firm will meet us in the morning to represent him, so that I can be available for you. We will discuss a strategy to move forward with.”
The wordstrategysits uncomfortably in my chest because the plain old truth should more than suffice. I have seen enough true crime shows with Monika to know that these things are not always straightforward, though.
“Are you ready to go?” he prompts, pulling his car keys from his pocket.
I nod and follow him out the front doors of the station.
Chapter thirty-three
LIKE A MOTH TO A FLAME
It’saFridaynightin Charlotte, so the street is still busy even though we are just minutes shy of midnight. Jalen drives us less than a mile down the road and pulls into the hotel, giving me enough time to check that there are no new messages in my family group chat.
I do have a new message in WhatsApp, though, from Leah. She messaged me separately from the retreat group to say that she was on the road back home to Jersey with plans to stop whenever she got too tired to continue. She also said that she wishes we could have had a proper goodbye and that she hopes we keep in touch.
I shoot her a quick text back to see how much progress she has made, then hop out of the backseat when Jalen puts the Range Rover in park. He hands his keys over to the valet and insists on carrying my duffel bag for me as we enter the building.
The hotel is luxurious, with a lobby that is decorated in warm tones and sharp angles. The man working the front desk smilesas we approach. “Welcome to the Ritz-Carlton, Charlotte. How are you both doing this lovely evening?”
“Fine,” Jalen answers for both of us, and hands over his credit card and driver’s license so that the man can pull up our reservation.
“Thank you so much for staying with us tonight, Mr. and Mrs. James. Your rooms are ready—”
“It’s Mr. James and Miss Bailey,” Jalen corrects. “The other Mr. James, who will be in her adjoining room, will be arriving later.”
“My apologies,” the man says, and keeps his eyes lowered as he hands over a receipt for Jalen to sign. “Do you have any luggage in your vehicle that needs to be taken up to your rooms?”
“No,” Jalen says, and pushes the signed paper and pen back across the counter.
The man takes Jalen’s clipped responses in stride and tells us how to find our rooms, then encourages us to let him know if there is anything the staff can do to make our stay more comfortable. I make a point to return his kindness with the warmest smile I am capable of, then have to hustle to catch up to Jalen, who has already reached the elevator doors.
We ride up to Cameron’s and my floor in silence, and I follow Jalen down the hall until he stops in front of two doors near the end.
“This one is yours, and that one is Cameron’s. Mine is on the floor below you.” He pulls one keycard out of Cameron’s envelope and tucks it behind the two in mine, then hands it over with my duffel bag.
“Thank you,” I say, and take both things from him.
“Try to get some sleep. I am going back to the station to wait for Cameron to finish. Don’t forget that we will be meeting tomorrow at nine.”
“I’ll set an alarm.”
He nods in approval and turns on his heel to go back down the hall. I let myself into my room, close and lock it behind me, and barely have a chance to drop my bag before rushing to the sink.
I clutch my stomach as it tries to empty itself, but too much time has passed since I last ate and nothing comes up. Still, I wretch violently until my face is bright red and pounding from the pressure. It feels like an eternity before I can catch my breath to rinse out my mouth with water, but the burn in my abdomen from the prolonged and repeated strain of muscles remains.
Now that I am finally alone, I sink to the ground under the weight of my mistakes and allow myself to think every thought that I’d been shielding myself from in the name of being strong for Cameron, and for getting through my statement to the police.
The first and most pressing one is that I don’t know how much longer I can shoulder the weight of so much loss. Even though I was just getting to know Delaney, I still cared about her well-being. For her to just begoneis unfathomable. I know that my family doesn’t think these accidents are my fault, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that so many bad things keep happening on, and nowaround,my birthday.
The fact that I stepped out this time instead of staying hidden away just proves that I am a complete, reckless fool for thinking that I could ever change my fate. I can’t believe that I truly thought I could go from staying isolated from everyone and everything to suddenly start living large without any consequences. The idea that I could somehow sidestep or outsmart my curse by showing up as Epic Drew was so ridiculously misguided that it’s almost laughable.
And the worst of it is, thingswereimproving, at least in the beginning. The week leading up to the retreat was calm, and I made it here, didn’t I? The curse seemed amenable to my request to be in my nephew’s life, up until I got distracted by the first good-looking guy I saw.
My selfishness knows no bounds.
