Her theory, while incredibly similar to everything I’ve already heard a thousand times over from her, Scott, and Gabe in the past, is just different enough that I take a second to consider it.
Could it really be that simple? That breaking my curse never required a special herb tea, a smudge stick, or living in a way to minimize risk that feels painfully similar to being an inmate at a maximum-security prison? That instead, it could simply be broken by a mental reframing of it?
I take the last week as a random sample, to play it back through the lens of me beinguncursed instead of cursed, but the theory doesn’t hold up under scrutiny with the daily mishaps that have transpired alone, and it completely falls apart when I take into account the family that almost lost their daughter because of my choice to bang on the glass.
“It’s too dangerous,” I say, and loop my purse back over my head so that I can make my exit. “There is no safe way to test the theory, even if I did believe that it could work.”
“Well, you stormed out before we could explain that we figured that part out too,” she argues, and angles her body between me and the exit so that I can’t leave before she finishes. “We understand that this won’t work overnight, so we found the perfect place for you to try it out: the retreat. It’s inside a house, and the itinerary is literally just reading books and doing small trips around Charlotte, which is similar to how you spend your time here anyway. This retreat allows you to put the theory to the test in a semi-controlled environment. We weren’t trying to force another trip down your throat, we were trying to give you an opportunity to practice living as Uncursed Drew. But you started freaking out before we had a chance to explain.”
“Maybe you should have started with that, then, because it felt a lot like every other birthday back in there to me,” I point out.“I love you, Monika, but I’m going to head home, and you should too. We both have to open tomorrow, so we need to get some sleep.”
She presses her lips together in a hard line as I brush past her to head towards the door. I am seconds from freedom when Monika calls out to me from back where I left her. “You’re a liar, Drew Bailey.”
My hand locks on the door handle as I wince at her words, giving her a chance to reiterate. “You’re a liar. You say that you love them, but you won’t even try one last time to stay in their lives.”
“I do love them which is why I have to do this,” I counter over my shoulder. “I’m the only one who is strong enough to—”
“So you’re saying that Scott’s endless compassion, devotion, and unbelievable level of selflessness when it comes to you is a show of weakness? His willingness to keep fighting for you, even though he had to bury your father all by himself and come to your rescue while pushing aside his own grief, means nothing?”
“Don’t forget our mom. I took her away from him too,” I spit back. “It’s my fault that our parents aredead, Monika, so no matter how Scott, Gabe, you, or anyone elsefeels, I won’t risk being responsible for taking his own child away from him too.”
I am about to take my final step out the door when she plays her last card.
“If you really cared about them, you wouldn’t give up this easily, so which is it? Do you love them enough that you will do whatever it takes to stay in their lives, or are you a liar?”
“I’ve already tried everything—”
“Not everything,” she argues. “So, I ask you again, Drew. Do you love them, or not?”
I shake my head, as every part of me sags with the ramifications of my answer, but I say it anyway. “I love them. More than anything on earth.”
She lifts her chin victoriously. “Then prove it.”
Chapter nine
DANGEROUS
“Domeafavor,Drew, and close your eyes.”
I turn away from watching a family run from one side of the busy crosswalk to another to shoot Monika a death glare, but it only manages to make her smile even wider. “Just do it. This will only take a second.”
I sigh. We have been sitting in the parking lot at LAX outside of my terminal for the last thirty minutes. At least she had the foresight to park in the temporary lot instead of at the curb, since she has tried every trick possible to get me to exit her car with no success. When my eyes are closed, she continues.
“I want you to imagine all the bad things that might happen on this trip. Say them out loud as they cross your mind.”
I whip my eyes back open. “Are you crazy? This sounds like a great way to make sure I never get on that plane.”
“Hear me out,” she says. “Cursed Drew would ruminate on all the bad things that could happen, butEpicDrew would name all of her fears and declare that they are no match for her.”
I roll my eyes at the alter ego that she, Scott, and Gabe chose for me to go by for this trip. They spent the entire week coming up with it, and while I am not a fan, it was the best one out of the others they came up with, so I have reluctantly accepted it. Not without bringing them into the mix by referring to them as silly, made-up alter-egos every chance I get, in return, though.
“Well, hopefully you’ve been visualizingBodybuilderMonika,” I say, “because if I start naming everything that can go wrong, you are going to have to physically remove me from this car and drag me inside.”
“Just do it!” she says, with another glance at the clock display on her dashboard.
“Fine,” I say, and slump down farther into the seat.
When I agreed to go on this trip last week, I secretly hoped that something bad would happen to prove my point that the plan was too dangerous, but when the week went by without a single incident, it just bolstered Monika’s claim that my curse could be broken, or never even existed to begin with.
