The early sun’s golden threads seeped into the night, bringing optimism with it but also a reminder that it was harder to hide in daylight.
“We jump and take my boat. Look.” The small vessel quickly moved away from theNauti Guyto the beach. Jack was on his way to save his friends. Or hurt them. If Jack looked up to his right, he would spot us. I wasn’t sure I could do this.
“You are a strong swimmer,” Hunter said, firmly. “The distance from the cliff to my boat is shorter than from the beach. We have some time, but not much, soon it will be bright enough for anyone to see us. If we jump now, don’t scream. Sydney, please. This is the way.”
After weeks of living here, I had proved that I could do things that before had seemed unimaginable to me. I looked at the tall man I loved with messy hair and a face covered in dirt and scrapes, wearing clothes that resembled a zombie apocalypse survivor, and laced my fingers through his.
“Do you want to count to three?” He squeezed my palm as we inched to the edge.
I swallowed a hard lump of fear. “Just say that you love me.”
“I love you,” he said.
I took a deep breath and took a leap.
ChapterThirty-Four
My eyelids clamped together all the way down, and my free hand pinched my nose. I went into the bitter ocean water like a rocket. And then I let out a scream. Like a giant wave, emotions of rapture, sadness, regret, and contentment without warning crested against me. A shock of cold water was like a restart to my system. I felt reborn and ready to embrace the new me and my new life. And I did dare to say it; I was ready to live an adventure. Once we got to safety.
When my head broke the surface, it took the last of my willpower not to shout with excitement. I was breathless but had never felt more alive. I’d done it. I jumped.
Hunter held my hand while treading water, looking at theNauti Guy. I relaxed my fingers around his and began swimming to the boat. With confident strokes, my strong muscles propelled me forward. My breathing matched my arms’ movement—breath in and breath out. With each push, I was closer to my escape.
TheNauti Guyslowly swayed, waves going around and under it, making gurgling sounds. I slowed as we approached the boat. I thanked the stars it wasn’t any farther because my energy was running dry. Hunter reached the stern and climbed on board, then he extended his arm and helped me up the ladder. As soon as I was out of the water, goosebumps rushed over my skin, and salt bit into every scrape and cut on my skin.
We collapsed on the deck, my chest heaving from the long swim and the thrill of escaping Tom and his crew. Against the morning skies, a large seagull soared high, its wings spread wide. Free bird. We were free, too. We had made it. We were safe.
Hunter rolled on his side, facing me, and I used this opportunity to pull him by his shirt. His lips brushed against mine softly first, and then then they pressed firmer. His fingers found their way through my hair, and he rested his full length over me. After a swim in a cold ocean, I welcomed his warmth, melting into him. I loved his weight on me. Elation expanded my soul. Pressed against Hunter so comfortably, I indulged in the alleviation.
I wound my arms around Hunter’s neck, my face brushing his stubble as I hugged him. I loved everything about Hunter, and I loved that he had helped me discover a new me—a strong, capable, and, most of all, resilient me.
Hunter rose on his elbows, his lips pulled into that toe-curling smile I had come to know so well. He opened his mouth to say something, but jerked his head up to look straight ahead.
“What?” I asked, my body going rigid, picturing Tom and Jack on the dinghy racing toward us.
“We should go.”
Hunching, Hunter moved to the front, pulled the anchor, and slipped into the helm. I flipped on my stomach and craned my neck to peek through the rails. No one was after us. TheNauti Guymotors came to life, and I mustered the energy to get up and face the island.
A small figure, Jack, ran on the beach, waving his arms and yelling. My left hand gripped the railing as I raised my right in farewell.
The fire wasn’t blazing anymore, just a spiral of gray smoke rose into the air like a ghost of everything that had happened in that hut. Me waking up for the first time after the storm. Hunter and me hunching over journals for hours. All the sweet and dirty vows Hunter whispered in my ear when we were tired before we fell asleep, his arms around me. Us making love countless times on the bed, against the walls, on the mess of papers on the floor. All that sex. Raw and hungry.
The boat picked up speed over the waves, and I slid down on the floor and lowered my head onto my knees. A million emotions flooded my heart. Overwhelmed, I let myself cry.
I cried for Bambi. I cried about losing my dad’s ashes (twice). I cried for how exhausted I was (I could close my eyes and sleep for weeks). And I cried because I was finally going home, where my friend, my job, and my fast new life awaited me. And it all felt wrong.
Hunter concentrated on navigating us back to Rarotonga, and I tried to figure out why each time I thought of going home, unease dragged me down like a boulder. We cruised for a long time without talking, until eventually he slowed the boat not far from the Avatiu Harbor, then killed the motors. He slid next to me on the floorboard, his large hand coming over my small one, engulfing it in warmth.
A tired smile pulled at his lips, and this was when it became clear my home wasn’t in Miami. For days, I had questioned whether this was the right decision for me. I searched for reasons it was important for me to return, and Icouldn’t find any. I loved my job, but nobody said I couldn’t do it remotely. Tina was my only close friend, but I couldn’t (and shouldn’t) build my life around her, and she would want me to choose love (and the greatest sex ever) over her. And when I searched for reasons why I should stay here, on the Cook Islands, I only came up with one absolutely-no-fucking-doubt vital reason: Hunter Holden.
My home was anywhere Hunter was. It was scary to abandon my old life and start anew in a new place with a new person, but everything we went through in one month was like speed dating on steroids. And we turned out to be great together.
“Why are you so quiet?” Hunter asked, his thumb making a gentle circle on my skin.
“I want to be with you.”
His eyes met mine with so many emotions that my chest tightened. “You don’t need someone as messed up as me,” he said.
